335 Great poem!

Feb. 26, 2002
You must have a room,
or a certain hour or so a day,
where you don't know what was in the newspaper that morning,
you don't know who your friends are,
you don't know what you owe anybody,
you don't know what anybody owes you.
This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth
what you are and what you might be.


Often people attempt to live their lives backwards;
they try to make more things, or more money,
in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.
The way it actually works is in reverse.
You must first be who you really are,
then do what you need to do,
in order to have what you want.

Margaret Young,

336 X

Feb. 26, 2002
I talked with X last nite. She will help me do my magpie booths in
March in exchange for me paying the kidsitter & making her a stained
glass ferret.

I am/was fairly contemptuous of stained glass pet art...bleh. But for
X, and for booth help, I will do it. *shudder*

She was upset; she'd gotten $1500 worth of tickets from the
dogcatcher. Her dogs got out and a neighbor called the pound. They
came,and another neighbor (?) told the dogcatcher whose dogs they
were and the dogcatcher left, saying he'd be back. Then Xtal got home
and heard the story from the neighbors, and called the pound, hoping
to head off some trouble when/if they came back. A few hours later,
the dog catcher showed up and gave her the tickets, saying that if
her husband had been there he would not have given her the
tickets. ??? Then she was getting mad and telling him that she
couldn't pay the tickets, so he might as well just take the dogs. He
refused and told her the dogs were her responsibility and that she
needed to face her responsibilities. She said the dogs had just
learned how to jump the fence, that she had repaired the fence in the
past and thought she was taking care of her responsibilities. The dog
catcher told her that his idea of responsibility was different than
hers. Anyway, it was a fairly incoherent story and she has 72 hours
to either pay the tickets or turn the dogs over to the pound.

I have to remember not to tell Aunt L about this; it would make her sad
and/or make her shell out $$ for X's tickets. Neither would be a
good option.

I think X and family have way too many pets and they don't really take
very good care of any of them. And she seemed far more distressed
about the tickets and the $ than about potentially losing the dogs,
having them taken and put to sleep. And of course I'm sad for her,
but a) I don't have $1500 to bail her out, and b)I think the dog
situation had gotten way out of hand..I think they had 4 or 5 dogs in
the yard, and never let them in, never played with them or walked
them or trained them in any way. And she'll get more dogs.

M was mad at her for calling the pound and then giving the
dogcatcher honest answers to his questions. He said she should have
just played dumb if the dogcatcher came around again, and not called
their office and whatever. He is probably right, but that's the last
thing X needed to hear.

I was mad at the dogcatcher for that shit about "I wouldn't give you
these tickets if your husband was here." what the FUCK kind of sexist
bullshit is THAT?

So I told X that she needs to call the man's supervisor and let
him have it. He went way beyond the boundaries of his professional
obligations by insulting her and making that sexist comment about her
husband...what crap. She was crying and saying it was only her word
against the dogcatcher. Well, so what? The man is a public servant,
her taxes pay his lousy salary. So she has every right to expect to
be treated politely and professionally by him. I told her to sic M
on the dogcatcher & his supervisor. After all, if you're going to
saddle yourself with a man and his children, the man should go to
battle for ya. :) (yes, rampant hypocrisy; I hate HATE it when BPSIL
sics E on people..but it is a slightly different situation, so
maybe not so hypocritical of me)

*sigh* That is a lose-lose-lose situation.

And, in the meantime, poor little J's teeth are rotting out of
his head and he needs about 2 grand worth of dental work. agh. X
was going to see if CG. would cosign a loan for her and M to
get his teeth fixed.

Also in the background is J-Law's impending move to TX. I wish I could
help her go condo by cosigning a mortgage app/loan with her, since
her credit is so shitty, but...

it's just bad to mix friendship and finances. Jen has given me every
reason to trust her. Tom would probably be pissed if I did this,
since it might bump against his credit in some way. . .

I dunno.

339 Victoria Regina Tarot!

Feb. 26, 2002
Comes out in MARCH!

I did a 5 card reading on the site, more to look at the cards than to
answer any questions.

TheQueen of Swords is cool. It's a card that both X and BPSIL
identify as 'self'.

http://www.thefool.com/read/detail.asp?
position=5&spread=five&cardnum=63

At her best the Queen of Swords is a wise woman, highly perceptive
and insightful. She is fiercely protective of those she considers
family, and deeply committed to knowing and accepting the truth. She
knows honesty when she sees it, and has little tolerance for anything
else.

At her worst she can become bitter, selfishly obsessed with her own
suffering. She can also fall prey to a certain maliciousness, feeling
perhaps that the pain she has endured gives her the right to inflict
pain on others. But if she remains vigilant against these flaws, she
will become a woman to admire, and one to be reckoned with.

===================================
I like the queen of coins, myownself:
The Queen of Coins is serene and confident. She is secure on her
royal seat, fruitful and loving, and able to share the blessings of
that fruitfulness with those around her. Nature is her milieu,
fertility and sexuality are her powers and her gifts. for that reason
she is often linked to the Empress. When we are fully in tune with
our world, and able to share the benefits of that wisdom with those
around us, we are expressing the energies of the Queen of Coins.

340 a quote on marriage/children. quite brilliant

Feb. 26, 2002
From: Dementia
Date: Mon Feb 25, 2002 1:52 pm
Subject: a quote


Here is a quote I came upon earlier today, I though many of you may
like
it. It was said (written?) by Simone de Beauvoir, however the page did
not give reference to the exact source.



"The curse which lies upon marriage is that too often the individuals
are joined in their weakness rather than in their strength-each
asking from the other instead of finding pleasure in giving. It is
even more deceptive to dream of gaining through the child a
plenitude, a warmth, a value, which one is unable to create for
oneself; the child brings joy only to the woman who is capable of
disinterestedly desiring the happiness of another, to one who without
being wrapped up in self seeks to transcend her own existence."