222 dreams

 

• Jan. 3, 2002

   

  I dreamt that I lived in outer space, in some kind of intellectual
  colony or something. It was like 'perfect college'--everyone took
  classes & hung out in coffee houses, and it was really neat. BUT,
  there was an asteroid that would come in every so many years and
  threaten the safety of our space colony, and someone would be drawn
  from the military (?) membership of our colony to do a kamikaze
  mission to push the asteroid away again.
  
  The person chosen for the kamikaze mission would be allowed to do
  basically anything he (?) wanted the night before the mission,have
  a 'last fling' or whatever.
  
  So, anyway, the person for the mission this time was my old jr. hi.
  boyfriend Kerry Brown, and he & I spent the nite together, and at one
  point I guess we ditched the birth control (or I was instructed to
  let him believe we had??) in the hopes that he'd leave something
  behind when he went away to die. Very wierd. Apparently there were
  strict population controls on the space colony and big penalties for
  anyone giving birth without proper permits or whatever, but I told
  him that the military would pay for the kid, if there was one.
  
  I dunno...it was wierd. at one point, he wanted to watch me with
  another guy...or something. That was...odd. Anyhoo....wonder what my
  subconscious mind is trying to resolve with all that?

223 love & fear

 

• Jan. 3, 2002

   

  This quote came up in NonBPnook. I am not sure how I feel about it:
  
  Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs,
  hides, hoards, harms.
  Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays,
  reveals, shares, heals.
  Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked.
  Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that
  which we have away.
  Fear holds close, love holds dear.
  Fear grasps, love lets go.
  Fear rankles, love soothes.
  Fear attacks, love amends.
  Every human thought, word, or deed is based in one emotion or the
  other. You have no choice about this, because there is nothing else
  from which to choose. But you have free choice about which of these
  to select.
  -- Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God, page 19.