evile | Entries tagged with tarot

Dec. 23, 2004

http://www.facade.com/tarot/phoenix/

used phoenix deck, random spread (computer chooses)

question: what should I do this weekend?

The Two Paths spread provides insight into an important decision
ahead of you, the possible outcomes, and the forces that draw you
towards each of these outcomes. The Phoenix Tarot is one of the most
strikingly beautiful decks of the 20th century. Through vibrant
colors and stylized images, it breathes new life into the familiar
symbology of the Tarot. If you would like your own copy of the
Phoenix Tarot, you can buy it now!

The top left card represents the first possible outcome. The Hermit,
when reversed: Detachment based on fear, irresponsibility or naiveté.
Self-imposed isolation from friends and loved ones. Listening to the
wrong advice or ignoring good counsel. Concealment, disguise, and
unreasoned caution.

The top right card represents the second possible outcome. The Fool:
Fearlessness, imagination, open-mindedness, and an adventurous
spirit. Freedom from cares and worries. Ideas, thoughts, and impulses
coming from a completely unexpected place. Nonchalance at the
threshold of gaining all or losing all. Extravagance and intoxication
with life. The pure and undifferentiated power of creation itself,
where ultimate knowledge and oblivion are unified.

The middle left card represents the force drawing you towards the
first possible outcome. Ace of Pentacles: The seed of prosperity and
material gain - perhaps as yet unseen. A new foundation from which to
turn your dreams into reality. The need to focus on the practical and
understand the dynamics of the natural world. May represent a gift,
document, inheritance, or an unexpected opportunity for physical
achievement.

The middle right card represents the force drawing you towards the
second possible outcome. The Emperor, when reversed: Weakness in
character leading to tyranny and abuse of worldly power. Loss of
confidence and ambition, coupled with the cold execution of the
unthinkable. The inability to carry out plans or command respect.
Being unreasonable and prone to fits of rage. A deceiver or
demagogue.

The bottom card represents the critical factor that decides what will
come to pass. Ten of Pentacles (Wealth), when reversed: Material
prosperity and riches squandered through slothfulness, gambling, or
family problems. The loss of reputation or inheritance, or the
failure to pass an inheritance along to one's children.
=================

so, it seems I need to go against my instincts here. I'll be gambling
this weekend, and if I either behave in an 'emperor' like way or hang
out with a person who is like that, 'the fool' will be my outcome--a
new beginning, freedom from cares & worries.

And if I focus on the practical & try to make Vegas my new start
financially, I'll get the hermit or be the hermit. hm.

Oct. 13, 2004

evile: hi
SkyeDS: hola
SkyeDS: how goes?
evile: I went to the library at lunctime, nice walk but muggy out!!
SkyeDS: rained on my drive to work - hope it rained at home
evile: *nod*
evile: we had goodie day at work today...i am in food coma despite
the walk.
SkyeDS: :)
evile: I ended up slapping together some lemon meringue tarts.
Everyone acted like I'd walked on water.
SkyeDS: perspective - to them...
evile: maybe. but, come on, frozen phyllo cups, canned lemon filling,
and meringue made from canned powdered eggwhites--not rocket science
or even high culinary art. Not even as much expense/hassle as 'indoor
smores' their usual demand from me.
SkyeDS: better than a bag of oreos
evile: *nod*
evile: I wanted to bring something I would eat, too.
SkyeDS: isn't it nice when people think you walk on water tho?
(happens to me so rarely)
evile: no, because they think it for the wrong reasons.
evile: they hardly touched it the one time I made cheesecake from
scratch,but they stuff their gizzards when I bring in some piece of
crap out of a box and a can....it is annoying.
SkyeDS: music is same way
SkyeDS: play 4 chords they hear on the radio and you're god
SkyeDS: play a 3 part sinfonia and they're like that's nice
evile: heh.
evile: *holds lighter in air* Freebird! Freebird!
SkyeDS: was toying with putting up a quatrain from "unbelievable" in
my LJ today, but decided agin it for the time being
evile: *blink, blink* (clueless)
SkyeDS: basically to express that some people are full of shit
evile: I don't know that song, or who sings it, or anything about the
lyrics.,,,but you could always post it 'friends only' if you really
wanted to.
SkyeDS: not even worth that much effort
SkyeDS: but amusing to think about
evile: oh, ok then.
SkyeDS: had to reboot
evile: yucko!
SkyeDS: I bought a $100 14x12 hexagonal screen tent for $38
delivered yesterday, pleased about that
evile: cool.
SkyeDS: we need a pavilion, not to rely on yours, or Laura's or
anyone else's
SkyeDS: I think this is big enough to put the horses under if
necessary
evile: oh, very cool.
SkyeDS: ordered yesterday, $38 including delivery, is what I meant
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: http://www.davemcnally.com/lyrics/Emf/Unbelievable.asp
SkyeDS: it was popular on the radio, and I like the drums and bass
evile: Oh, that one. I remember that song.
SkyeDS: what I was thinking this morning in particular was: The
things, you say
Your purple prose just gives you away
The things, you say
You're unbelievable

evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: black and purple are my primary favorite colors, teal and
hunter green my secondaries....but I still like the use of "purple
prose" there
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: and I like almost all jewel tones (except yellow and orange)
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I bought the new Gilded Tarot, it is just yummy
evile: cool.
SkyeDS: Jeanette Roth (Tarot Garden) got in the Tavaglione deck I
wanted
SkyeDS: but it's $55 plus shipping - I don't want it that bad
evile: oh, wow.
evile: omfg.
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.gsp?
product_id=1360858&sourceid=1500000000000001827190&dest=9999999997
SkyeDS: that's the one I bought from amazon a coupla bucks cheaper
than that
SkyeDS: but at walmart?
evile: that was the "f" part.
evile: I thought walmart was all bible-beating christian and here
they are selling the playing cards of SATAN!!!!!
SkyeDS: says walmart has 587 items under Books for Tarot
SkyeDS: http://www.walmart.com/catalog/search-ng.gsp?
search_constraint=3920&search_query=tarot&ics=20&ico=0&Continue.x=13&C
ontinue.y=13
evile: good lord. I guess the housewives are getting restless.
SkyeDS: http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/alcohol/ (LOL)
evile: Sweetie might like that deck.
SkyeDS: my former friend, and author of the Witches Tarot, Ellen
Cannon Reed, finally passed away
SkyeDS: she didnt' say a word to Raven or me or anyone else who tried
to contact her after she got sick
evile: wow.
SkyeDS: we had just started working on a Streghe tarot
evile: that's too bad.
SkyeDS: "traditional Native American, feudal Japanese, Arthurian
English and Egyptian" - ok...pretty enough deck
evile: sounds interesting
SkyeDS: angel tarot = very pretty
evile: there's a bunch of nice ones...*sigh* too many!!
SkyeDS: aeclectic has 500 on its site
evile: *nod*
evile: www.alidastore.com has a bunch...but the format of the page is
screwy & it's hard for me to find stuff.
evile: I still want the plastic curtain with pockets to hang up in my
work room & put tarot cards in the pockets.
SkyeDS: good idea
SkyeDS: sonar0m made me a pretty big box that has four smaller boxes
that fit inside it
evile: nice.
SkyeDS: I keep jewelry in the four smaller boxes and tarot in the big
box
SkyeDS: but I'm outgrowing it already
evile: *nod* it happens.
SkyeDS: cool
SkyeDS: a deck you can color yourself
SkyeDS: that would be an interesting gift for a child
evile: I got one of those for Marca's housewarming, actually.
SkyeDS: also cool, a deck where simple meanings are printed on top
and bottom - upright and reversed
SkyeDS: and in that deck, Strength is 11 and not 8 (like it should be)
evile: hm
SkyeDS: baroque bohemian cats, very cute!
evile: I saw that one. Thought of getting it for [Aunt L].
SkyeDS: oh I DO like the Magician in Buckland's Romani deck - her's
purty!
evile: interesting.
SkyeDS: there are a lot of neat cat decks
evile: yeah
SkyeDS: glow in the dark rider waite lol
evile: That's handy...
SkyeDS: just in case your power is out, you can't find your candles,
and you have to have a reading right now.
evile: seems like you'd have more immediate problems to take care of
with a power outage, but OK. :P
SkyeDS: "when will my power be back on?" ROFL
evile: is there a card for 'get off your ass and find the fusebox,
(god/ess helps those who help themselves)' ?
SkyeDS: hehe
evile: that or 'get a job and pay your electric bill, dumbaass'
evile: actually, we used to have power outs a LOT when we lived in
the duplex down south.
evile: cant' say that I ever got the urge to run to my tarot cards,
tho.
SkyeDS: two electric companies I can use, sineater chose the Coop, he
didn't know about the other one
SkyeDS: coops are usually cheaper
SkyeDS: and neither publish their rates, so comparison is hard
evile: *nod* that's a pain in the ass.
evile: 2 of my credit cards got bought by other companies. what a PITA
SkyeDS: amen
evile: I had one of them all figured out how to pay & look at my
account online, and then they go and change it.
SkyeDS: sineater is still fighting the repercussions of having that
happen to just one card (years ago)
evile: So I had to create a new username & password, by entering all
my info over again, and it would not take. So I call, and they tell
me it's because *I* have my mother's maiden name wrong. Um..NO. YOU DO
evile: well, the field only takes bla bla many letters, so we left
out a vowel in the middle of her name.
OH, OKAY THEN.
SkyeDS: omfg
evile: I am SURE my Grandfather (rest his soul) will be glad to hear
it.
evile: Be SURE and send someone out to the veteran's cemetary to FIX
THAT RIGHT UP on my grandmother & grandfather's gravestones. Oh, and
his brothers', too.
evile: So god knows what THEIR error is going to do to MY credit
report, now that there are 2 evilE's with 1 address, 1 ssn,
and 2 mothers.
SkyeDS: :(
evile: un effing believable. Okay, I get 'the first _ letters of your
mother's maiden name'..but they just abbreviated it to fit. for gods
sake! My Viking ancestors did NOT rape and pillage their way through
half the known world so that some dumbass at Peoples Bank could steal
a vowel from us!
SkyeDS: rofl
evile: "anything else I can do for you ma'am?"
"yeah, dont' get bought out again any time soon. this was a pain in
the ass."
SkyeDS: evilE Kathysdottir
evile: that would really screw 'em up...
evile: I think it would be Stephensdottir, anyway. As Swedish as I
am on that side, none of that viking stuff really appeals to me,
actually. I find all things Asatru rather repellent.
SkyeDS: I don't know anything about asatru
evile: I'm all kinds of german and swedish & nordic...so I
thought "hey, heredetary path, Ill check it out...."and then
went, 'ew'
evile: well, piffle. Time to throw paper & run.
SkyeDS: wind to your wings :)
evile: *hugs* see ya tomorrow. be careful driving--it just rained
enough to be slick.

Jan. 2, 2004

My card was Temperance:

The Artist's Inner Vision Tarot

Temperance

Artwork by Jill Jones

In our lives too much of anything can be turned into a negative
influence on us. Too much work creates strain on the personal life.
Too much personal time and work may suffer. Too much exercise can
create physical ailments, and the same can be said of not enough
exercise as well! The Temperance card tells us that we need to be
moderate in all things. We must measure appropriate time to various
activities; we must take stock of priorities in our lives and make
sure we are handling them.

In our relationships we must compromise and cooperate with loved ones
and others in our lives. Common sense and application of logical
principles, recognizing the whole is only as good as its parts,
creates balance and productivity.

The card portrays Temperance as a woman who might be painting or
reading with a flaming busy night sky behind her. Above her lies a
palette of colors. The woman keeps a balance in life, blending the
different moods of the solar system in her palette. At her feet is a
flowing stream, symbolizing new life and the eternal movement of
life.

Temperance urges us to blend opposites, merge opposing viewpoints and
create harmony within our lives, both our personal life and our
business life, stressing compromise and cooperation as the necessary
ingredients to a congenial existence.

The negative aspect would be to waste energy in discordant
disagreements, to stagnate in an oppressive atmosphere or to
overindulge in some activity.

Groundhog Day is a movie in which the main character is forced to
relive one day over and over again until he gets it right and does
the right things. This is a perfect example of how he must blend all
the right behaviors and say the right thing with each individual to
reach out for the best reaction from each person he deals with in
each situation.

The movie Like Water for Chocolate shows a blending of unconscious
and conscious worlds, the blending of opposites.

Apr. 22, 2003

http://www.learntarot.com/pqn.htm

ACTIONS

Nurturing
gives love and support
creates a warm, secure environment
makes people feel better
responds to the natural world
has a green thumb
has a way with children and animals

Bighearted
will do any service for others
is a soft touch
always has an open door and welcoming smile
gives freely and abundantly
is warm, generous and unselfish

Down-to-Earth
handles problems matter-of-factly
allows others to be themselves
has no pretensions or affectations
takes a simple, sensible approach
appreciates all the senses

Resourceful
finds a use for whatever's at hand
is handy and versatile
makes a little go a long way
gets around every obstacle
comes up with what's needed

Trustworthy
keeps confidences and secrets
is loyal and steadfast
comes through in a pinch
keeps faith with others
is true to his or her word

DESCRIPTION

The personality of the Queen of Pentacles combines the positive earth
energy of the Pentacles suit with the inward focus of a Queen. If
you were to visit the Queen of Pentacles, the first thing she would
say is, "Come in, come in. It's great to see you. Have a bowl of
soup!" No one is more welcoming and nurturing than she. Her greatest
pleasure is to care for others - making sure they are happy and
secure. Her home is always overflowing with children, pets, plants
and footloose friends. She is warm and generous to all. In day-to-day
matters, she is sensible and practical. She doesn't have a lot of
time for elaborate plans and other craziness. If something needs
doing, she just takes care of it without a lot of fuss and bother. If
necessary, she makes do with little and always comes through in a
pinch. There is a down-to-earth, matter-of-factness about her. She is
always loyal and steadfast. Because she is trusting by nature, others
trust her completely. When you are hurting or in need, the Queen of
Pentacles will calm your fears and share your troubles.

In readings, the Queen of Pentacles asks you to think and feel as she
does. For example: Are you feeling warm and caring toward others? Are
you being sensible? Have you been true to your word? Do you feel
generous? Can you be counted on when times are tough?

This Queen can also represent a man or woman who is like her, or an
atmosphere of warmth, trust and security. In a reading, she tells you
that her special energy has meaning for you at this time. Let
yourself be inspired by this Queen in whatever form she appears in
your life.
----
http://www.sacred-texts.com/tarot/pktpequ.htm

The face suggests that of a dark woman, whose qualities might be
summed up in the idea of greatness of soul; she has also the serious
cast of intelligence; she contemplates her symbol and may see worlds
therein. Divinatory Meanings: Opulence, generosity, magnificence,
security, liberty. Reversed: Evil, suspicion, suspense, fear,
mistrust.

http://www.ata-tarot.com/resource/cards/pqn.html

The Queen of Pentacles is a card in which the energy of a Major
Arcanum is reproduced, but on a more accessible level. She is like a
mirror of the Empress in that she is a Queen of fertility and
harvest, and her talents extend to mothering and nurturing as well.
The only thing she really lacks that the Empress possesses is the
ability to create life, but the Queen of Pentacles makes up for that
with her ability to sustain and care for all kinds of life. She is
materially wealthy, but even that is superseded by the wealth she has
build through kindness and generosity. She manifests in your life as
either a person or a part of yourself.

The person known as the Queen of Pentacles is often a mother, but
sometimes she will express motherly dedication and love despite
having no children of her own. Her watery quality gives her the
intuitive and emotional skills needed of a good mother, while the
Pentacles suit gives her a solid schooling in material matters and
affairs. Her ambitions center on the family and her goals are a happy
material and emotional life. These simple goals are often difficult
to obtain, but she devotes herself to them. Though not necessarily
rich in terms of money, she is always rich of heart, and she shares
her wealth with all those in need.

Her only real weakness is an obsession with the security and
protection that the Pentacles suit embodies, and this should come as
little surprise because the Empress has trouble in this area as well.
In modern times her role has degraded considerably because the
terms "homemaker" and "housewife", which generally apply to the Queen
of Pentacles and those like her, are derogatory and devalued.

Although she sees no problem with expressing love with the creation
of a happy home, many people seem to have a problem with that, and
think she should "get a real job". A true Queen of Pentacles will
tolerate such people, who obviously have no idea how "real" her job
can become.

When the Queen of Pentacles inside of you starts manifesting, the
signs are unmistakable. Generosity will become a priority, as will
trustworthiness and reliability. You will gain insight into both
matters of money and matters of the heart, and through these you can
find a path to spiritual enlightenment. The Queen of Pentacles is, in
many ways, a bridge between the worlds of the mundane and the
spectacular. Step across that bridge once you are ready, and delight
in the opulence and pure beauty. Then you can return to the material
world to help others find their way. You may not be acknowledged, but
you will never be unhappy either.

This page was made by James Rioux (The Black Shadow),
bshadow@nbnet.nb.ca.
Copyright 2000 James Rioux.
====
http://www.hollywoodtarot.com/maewest.html

The Queen of Pentacles is the goddess of everything earthy: sex and
food and plants and animals and material possessions--she embodies
the joy of daily life on our material planet.
Laughter, sex, eating--it's all the same to her.
She is fertility and abundance.
===
http://www.tarotcam.com/deck/discs/qnp.html

The Queen of Pentacles represents happiness and comfort in the world
of living things. She symbolizes maternal calm, nurturing behavior,
practical support and all common sense decisions. As the woman with
the coin, she is often found in business, as a philanthropist or
provider. She can also be a gentle person whose main concern is the
welfare of others, taking stock of their moral and financial needs.

The Queen of Pentacles is primarily interested in money and talent
being used for constructive purposes. In business, she makes good use
of the harvest of the earth and excels at money management, enhancing
her work environment with her active participation and teamwork.
---------------
Queen of Swords:

http://www.sacred-texts.com/tarot/pktswqu.htm

Her right hand raises the weapon vertically and the hilt rests on an
arm of her royal chair the left hand is extended, the arm raised her
countenance is severe but chastened; it suggests familiarity with
sorrow. It does not represent mercy, and, her sword notwithstanding,
she is scarcely a symbol of power. Divinatory Meanings: Widowhood,
female sadness and embarrassment, absence, sterility, mourning,
privation, separation. Reversed: Malice, bigotry, artifice, prudery,
bale, deceit.
==

http://www.tarotcam.com/deck/swords/qnsw.html

The Queen of swords has a cold, emotionally detached way of dealing
with the world. She assumes an aloof, intellectual stance, fascinated
by animated dialogue and interrelationships. Interested in ruling
channels of information, she will shrewdly tell two different stories
to two different parties.

The Queen of Swords is interested in power and control, as is her
counterpart, the King, and manipulates conditions to her advantage.
If you are opposed to this type of individual, stand firm regardless
of the mounting tension between you. She can handle it, she likes to
battle intellectually and will continually twist the truth to reflect
her favorably. She is a hard woman to contend with, her air of spite
and disinterest will naturally undermine your own security.

In a reading, the Queen of Swords speaks of standing up to people,
making demands and being clear about your own needs. You may be
thought of as harsh and difficult, but this behavior is necessary.
====
http://www.learntarot.com/sqn.htm

ACTIONS
Honest
faces the truth, even if unpleasant
is up front with everyone
likes everything on the table
plays by the rules
avoids lies and deception

Astute
sizes up a situation quickly
understands hidden motives and desires
is difficult to fool, trick or con
figures out the unspoken rules and agendas
is quick on the uptake

Forthright
is direct and open in all dealings
gets to the heart of the matter
acts without pretense or guile
is straightforward and no-nonsense
can be candid when necessary

Witty
has a delightful sense of humor
diffuses awkward situations with a funny remark
never takes anything too seriously
laughs at everything, including him or herself

Experienced
has seen and done it all
has strength due to life's hard knocks
is free of self-righteous judgments
has realistic expectations

The personality of the Queen of Swords combines the positive air
energy of the Swords suit with the inward focus of a Queen. You can
always count on her to tell you exactly how it is. Above all else she
admires honesty, and she lives by her commitment to being truthful.
Lies, tricks and games are of no interest to her, but she's not easy
to fool. She is experienced in the ways of the world, good and bad.

The Queen of Swords can size up a situation quickly. She understands
human folly, but doesn't condemn it. She knows when cow manure is
being thrown around and simply finds clever ways around it. She
prefers being straightforward and direct. Her observations are
candid, but never hurtful. In fact, this Queen has a delightful sense
of humor. She likes a good laugh and always has a witty comeback
ready-to-hand. She knows that life isn't meant to be taken too
seriously. The Queen of Swords is refreshing in her candor and lack
of pretense.

In readings, the Queen of Swords asks you to think and feel as she
does. For example: Are you being completely honest? (Check this one
first!) Do you see the humor in the situation? Are you getting right
to the point? Have you figured out what's really going on? Are you
letting yourself be fooled?

This Queen can also represent a man or woman who is like her, or an
atmosphere of honest, direct communication. In a reading, she tells
you that her special energy has meaning for you at this time. Let
yourself be inspired by this Queen in whatever form she appears in
your life.
===
http://www.hollywoodtarot.com/katharinehepburn.html

The Queen of Swords is the destroyer of illusion. The embodiment of
integrity and honesty, she compels you to face the truth, even when
it's not pretty, even when it's not kind.

Apr. 7, 2003

One of the cards Ms. Pat drew for me pretty early on in her reading

was The Tower. I've been reading around about its meaning...and It's
like it had X's name on it.

http://www.angelpaths.com/majors/tower2.html

There are many aspects of the Tower that should remind us of the
lessons to be learned within the Death card. All life is change - we
can either surrender to this, or fight against it. What the Tower
teaches us is that the power of life is undeniable. We can learn our
lessons the easy way - by being open and accepting; or we can do
things the hard way, clinging to things and ideas that no longer work
for us. In that case, life will come along and, like a hurricane,
batter us with the winds of change till we submit!

So...on a Tower day, we need to examine ourselves to identify the
things to which we are clinging that no longer serve us well. We need
to be alert to the concepts life itself presents us with. So this day
could be one in which people talk relevantly to you, without knowing
that they are doing that. Listen carefully for random symbols which
will point you in the right direction.

When the Tower rules, it is possible that unexpected events will take
place that you hadn't seen coming. If so, remember that to resist
change is to deny life, and bear in mind that life is eventually
going to win this battle anyhow - so lie back, relax and accept. And
keep your sense of humour close at hand!

Sometimes we will be asked to take a blind leap of faith under the
influence of the Tower - remember this card signals breakthrough and
extension - growth from experience, and self trust. Whenever you are
unsure about your abilities to deal with things, remind yourself what
you have already passed through in your life. There's a river of
knowledge flowing through you already.

Affirmation: I trust to myself and to life.
--------------------------------------------
http://www.aeclectic.net/basics/tower.html

THE TOWER
Basic Symbols

A tower on a rocky outcropping, a powerful bolt of lightning, one or
two figures falling from the tower, sometimes waves crashing below.
Basic Story

As the Fool leaves the throne of the Goat God, he comes upon a Tower,
fantastic, magnificent, and familiar. In fact, The Fool, himself,
helped build this Tower back when the most important thing to him was
making his mark on the world and proving himself better than other
men. Inside the Tower, at the top, arrogant men still live, convinced
of their rightness. Seeing the Tower again, the Fool feels as if
lightning has just flashed across his mind; he thought he'd left that
old self behind when he started on this spiritual journey. But he
realizes now that he hasn't. He's been seeing himself, like the
Tower, like the men inside, as alone and singular and superior, when
in fact, he is no such thing. So captured is he by the shock of this
insight, that he opens his mouth and releases a SHOUT! And to his
astonishment and terror, as if the shout has taken form, a bolt of
actual lightning slashes down from the heavens, striking the Tower
and sending its residents leaping out into the waters below.

In a moment, it is over. The Tower is rubble, only rocks remaining.
Stunned and shaken to the core, the Fool experiences grief, profound
fear and disbelief. But also, a strange clarity of vision, as if his
inner eye has finally opened. He tore down his resistance to change
and sacrifice (Hanged man), then broke free of his fear and
preconceptions of death (Death); he dissolved his belief that
opposites cannot be merged (Temperance) and shattered the chains of
ambition and desire (The Devil). But here and now, he has done what
was hardest: destroyed the lies he held about himself. What's left is
the bare, absolute truth. On this he can rebuild his soul.

Basic Meaning

With Mars as its ruling planet, the Tower is a card about war, a war
between the structures of lies and the lightning flash of truth. The
Tower, as Wang points out, stands for "false concepts and
institutions that we take for real." When the Querent gets this card,
they can expect to be shaken up, to be blinded by a shocking
revelation. It sometimes takes that to see a truth that one refuses
to see. Or to bring down beliefs that are so well constructed. What's
most important to remember is that the tearing down of this
structure, however painful, makes room for something new to be built.
Thirteen's Observations

No card scares a Tarot reader like the Tower - or the person they're
reading for if that person knows anything about Tarot cards. It is
however one of the clearest cards when it comes to meaning. False
structures, false institutions, false beliefs are going to come
tumbling down, suddenly, violently and all at once. What's important
to remember as a tarot reader is that the one you're reading for
likely does not know that something is false. Not yet. To the
contrary, they probably believe that their lover is being faithful,
that their religious beliefs are true and right, that there are no
problems in their family structure, that everything is fine at
work...oh, and that they're fine. Just fine, really.

Alas, they're about to get a very rude awakening. Shaken up, torn
down, blown asunder. And all a reader can really do to soften the
blow is assure the Querent that it is for the best. Nothing built on
a lie, on falsehoods, can remain standing for long. Better to tear it
all down and rebuild on the truth. It is not going to be pleasant or
painless or easy, but it will be for the best

Apr. 3, 2003

I think it's true that thought can shape reality, to some extent. And
certainly one's thoughts can influence how one reacts to everyday
occurrences. Whether every deviation from plan is seen as a setback
or an opportunity, whether the glass is half empty or half full.

In that light, I choose to meditate on the highlights of my week:

Monday: I went to the gym. I have amazing upper body strength!

Tuesday: I went to skate night. I saw my friend Michelle and my
friend Jason. I saw an adorable strawberry blonde boy in a black <a
href="http://www.utilikilts.com/">utilikilt</a>. I saw Thomas the
Rhymer, whom I went to the OTO play with. I saw a beautiful woman in
a pink dress and fairy wings. I listened to good old music and
skated.

Wednesday: well, OK, Wednesday sucked, no way of getting around that
one.

Thursday: My friend Rio's birthay! I went to Sweetie's VW gang
meeting. I met nice people and had pleasant conversation. I had good
pizza and good beer. The night was cool and there were wildflowers on
the side of the road.

Friday: No work! I will sleep late. Drink coffee with my sweetie.
Read. Take a nice hot bath. Give myself a full-body sugar scrub &
facial. Go to the gym and spend lots of time in the hot tub and
sauna. Get some groceries and send off some care packages. Maybe
visit my waterfall. Maybe see a bellydance show.

And Always: my family, friends, loved ones, fuzzy kitties & dog, love-
filled home, flowers, trees, and creek...the joys and pleasures and
treasures of my life. I am grateful for the love & beauty in my life.
I am infinitely blessed. I miss the things that are gone, but I can't
lose sight of the blessings that are still here, just waiting for me
to notice them. Thank You.

--------
Something wierd, or maybe just coincidence: Pat pulled the Tower and
the 5 of Cups for me....which has basically just happened. The tower:
X and me finally ending it. 5 of cups: focusing too much on what
is lost and not enough on what you have. a message to refocus.

1251 feh.

Mar. 3, 2003

Me to J-Law:(I deleted the email I sent x before copying it here)
-----------------------------

I'm such a beeyotch.

I emailed X to ask if she was coming to poly dinner
on Wednesday, and mentioned the reference call. I told
her I was rude to the lady at first because I thought
she was calling from one of the organizations that is
always hounding us for donations :P

Hopefully that will make her sweat a little...

"Champagne for real friends, real pain for sham
friends"

------------------
To: me
Date: Mon, 3 Mar 2003 11:56:55 -0600
Subject: Re: Wednesday?
From: X

I am not sure about Wednesday, I kinda don't think so. [daughter] is
celebrating her 13ness with her first homegrown show at The Back Room.
The show starts at 9pm, and she has a couple of friends that are going
with us and staying the night and I have to get all of them up and
ready for school the next morning. Whew! Don't know how this will all
play out, but she is very jazzed. We'd love it if you would like to
come too. We are leaving after the first act at the earliest or maybe
for a couple of songs from the second act. It depends how long the
change overs are.

Want to make sure girls get 5-6 hours of sleep.

I'm sorry that I didn't warn you about using you as a reference. I am
job hunting. M has still made no money and we are destitute.
Really, calling on food stamps today. So I have to get a full time
job asap, so be expecting more calls. And thank you.

If you are free this evening I am making spaghetti to celebrate
03/03/03 and 'Sica's bday, I talk about it all the time, but things
have been so hectic that I never got around to invites. I expect food
to be ready no later than 6pm, party wrapped by 8:30/9 pm at the
latest.

love ya-
X

1252more feh/1card reading

Mar. 3, 2003

It occurred to me that she probably only invited me as a way to get
me to bankroll the teenagers' night out.

poop.

Artists Inner vision, 1 card reading for what to do with X gave me
The Fool. http://www.psymon.com/tarot/00-fool.html:

The Fool is an innocent, bound on a journey he knows not where, with
only the conviction that with optimism the greater good will prevail.
The Fool has faith in himself to bring him through new experiences,
as we must have faith in ourselves, knowing our hearts lead the way
and where good intentions prevail, the correct path will become
apparent.

The Fool has little baggage, little preparation and his only muses
are the little butterfly people who follow him, representing
transformation and change, as well as his instincts for survival that
will help him make his way through the weary world. He is a free
spirit, an unformed personality ready to take on anything, climbing
towards spiritual enlightenment.

The Fool is on a journey, an adventure. He represents new and
possibly unexpected changes in one's life to a new and uncharted
territory. This territory may not be a physical change in location;
it can be a new creative path, a new field of study or a new business
opportunity. This change may be an adventure of some type that has a
beginning and end, or it may be the kind of change that affects an
entire lifestyle, but as in all changes it involves risk.

The Fool can also represent foolish idealism, impulsive behavior, or
extravagant and foolish choices.

The character Forrest Gump, in the movie of the same name, epitomizes
The Fool at his best, carrying with him an innocence and confidence
in himself that helps him overcome some of the most difficult
situations that life offers him. The movie shows Forrest's many
adventures that parallel United States' own evolution and growth from
the innocence of the 50's, to the time of freedom and exploration of
the 60's, to the time of crisis and change of the 70's.

Jun. 24, 2002

Can't remember exact wording of question,something about how
seriously should I take e and X talking about Tom?
===========================================
Card: The High Priestess

Women are known for having a powerful intuition, a strong sense of
the undercurrent of emotions lying between the spoken and unspoken
word. This card is full of the strong feminine energy of intuition.
The High Priestess relies less on her connection to the physical
world to make her judgements and complete tasks and more on her inner
strengths and powerful insight.
The High Priestess suggests that you look at problems intuitively,
from another angle. There are times when we want to address a problem
that we know exists, but it doesn't seem to be a knowledge that was
achieved rationally. Despite its seeming irrationality, this becomes
valuable insight to act upon. Sometimes it is just this type of
insight that makes people seem like mind readers and allows them to
solve small problems before they become large ones. The High
Priestess qualities help identify the hidden influences in your life.
A woman I know communicates telepathically to animals through
pictures transmitted between them. She says we are all born with this
ability, but when we learn to verbalize we quickly lose the ability
or it becomes dormant. It might just be that this ability is called
intuition and actually has a rational explainable basis. We are
somehow open to pick up on people's thoughts and internal reactions
in this manner along with our outward communications with them.
The negative aspect to the High Priestess is emotional instability
and a dependency on external cues and over-calculated actions. There
might be atendency to be secretive and guarded to keep an initiate
from learning too much before they are ready.
The nun in the movie Dead Man Walking <http://us.imdb.com/Title?
0112818> was a High Priestess character, guiding the convict to make
a connection with his humanity, bringing his repentance and a higher
awareness of his spirituality.
In the movie Field of Dreams <http://us.imdb.com/Title?0097351> a
farmer trusts in intuition and what seems like a dreamlike message to
create a baseball field in his cornfield which becomes not only a
baseball field of dreams, but a field of closure and healing for
several important issues in his life and the lives of others.
===========================
Then again, Elena is a codependent little sicko who seems to want me
to go thru bad times so she can be there for me. Sort of like
drowning kittens in order to rescue them. And Xtal...well, she's a
user. And her idea of a good marriage seems to be one in which Mike
works as much as possible, gives her all his money, and doesn't do
much else.
==============================================

How should I continue my job search?

The King of Cups represents an individual who has repressed his
emotions and dreams to be able to succeed in a world that appreciates
material achievements. This individual has conflicting emotions
regarding intimate relationships. On one hand there is a desire for
closeness and commitment; on the other hand there is a fear of being
contained and limited by these emotions. Confrontation is necessary
to face fears and accept the growth that comes with emotional
challenges.
We see the King of Cups as an ingenious man, a light on his head
representing his burning ambition and drive. He stares off into space
completely detached from anything but his feelings. According to
scientists bumblebees are too big to fly on their light wings and yet
they do; so in that manner the bees flying through the air represent
dreaming the impossible dream. A house stands behind him representing
his worldly accomplishments.
As a card of actions it might question motives and actions, ask that
you face your fears of emotional commitment and re-examine your
relationships from another perspective.
In a negative light the card would suggest that an individual is
dishonest, ruled by intellectual emotions and is possibly domineering
and manipulative.
The main character in An Officer and a Gentleman
<http://us.imdb.com/Title?0084434> had many of the King of Cups
attributes. He suppresses his ego in order to fit in and make it
through officers' training and throughout most of the movie maintains
his emotional distance in all his relationships until the end of the
movie where he drops his King of Cups reserve.
===============================================

"Confrontation is necessary to face fears and accept the growth that
comes with emotional challenges."

I need a job that lets me be me? What am I afraid of?

Feb. 26, 2002
Comes out in MARCH!

I did a 5 card reading on the site, more to look at the cards than to
answer any questions.

TheQueen of Swords is cool. It's a card that both X and BPSIL
identify as 'self'.

http://www.thefool.com/read/detail.asp?
position=5&spread=five&cardnum=63

At her best the Queen of Swords is a wise woman, highly perceptive
and insightful. She is fiercely protective of those she considers
family, and deeply committed to knowing and accepting the truth. She
knows honesty when she sees it, and has little tolerance for anything
else.

At her worst she can become bitter, selfishly obsessed with her own
suffering. She can also fall prey to a certain maliciousness, feeling
perhaps that the pain she has endured gives her the right to inflict
pain on others. But if she remains vigilant against these flaws, she
will become a woman to admire, and one to be reckoned with.

===================================
I like the queen of coins, myownself:
The Queen of Coins is serene and confident. She is secure on her
royal seat, fruitful and loving, and able to share the blessings of
that fruitfulness with those around her. Nature is her milieu,
fertility and sexuality are her powers and her gifts. for that reason
she is often linked to the Empress. When we are fully in tune with
our world, and able to share the benefits of that wisdom with those
around us, we are expressing the energies of the Queen of Coins.