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evilegot up at 6, walked dogs with Thax, went back to bed. Dreamed that I was in a big old house....it had very strange plaster frescoes on the wall. I was there with my mom. I think it was supposed to be G/Dad's house in greencastle, but it wasn't really their house....I was staying in the attic room which had a set of stairs on the outside of the house leading to a door that went into the attic room. I kept being woken up hearing someone trying to open that door, which was locked by means of a screen door hook latch that was on a very long eye bolt that was drilled into the frame of the door. Mom and I went to look at it, because I guess I told her that someone was trying to get in that door and she didnt' believe me? so we went and looked and it had been tried enough times that the wood around the eye bolt threads was shredded and the eye bolt could just come out....so we pushed an empty bookcase in front of the door. It probably wouldn't stop the person from coming in but the noise of the book case being knocked over would maybe wake everyone up. In my dream mom was like she used to be, not the pleasant vague person she is now.
Anyway, I got up again, had breakfast, washed up and went to see her. Aunt l. was there when i arrived, but she left pretty quick. I had brought my dog Sunny, who did alright. was nervous in an unfamiliar place but did ok otherwise. She liked sniffing around in the backyard. Mom says she doesn't get out much when I asked her if she had seen the back yard. Maybe when the weather is cooler, or if we go over earlier in the morning or later in the evening we can sit outside. If she wants to. Mostly she wants to stay in bed. She asked me if G. had cancer, and I said yes. I teared up some, and said I miss him every day. She then asked me "Why did G. let himself get ... bamboozled?" and then she shook her head and said "I don't know what I'm trying to say,"....:( she's processing the grief and h er brain is not helping her. anyway, Sunny behaved and she enjoyed the back yard. The owner's two dogs were there, black lab mix types. Very sweet boys. I think Sunny would have enjoyed them if she'd been off leash too, but I wasn't sure if I should let her run around the house without a leash on. anyway.....depressing. mom seems in good health. I left when they came to get her for lunch. she wanted to go to the table and eat with everyone. I take that as a good sign. My brother A. seems to think they're not feeding her enough, and not feeding her what she likes to eat....but she's in bed most of the day, she doesn't need that many calories.... so? I asked mom if she liked the food and she said yes. At the old place in Greencastle, she'd say "It's adequate," in a way that suggested she didn't much like it. so....she does manage to get some things across pretty well. It's just a lot of effort for her to put her thoughts together and say stuff. I hate to see her struggling like that :(
I got an email Tuesday morning with my start date and time for my next temp gig. It starts 8/12. I have jury duty 8/13. I have been calling and emailing the jury duty people to try and get a postponement or something. I know that 'the law' says a person can't be fired for going to jury duty but the law is pretty thin when it comes to protecting temps. They could just say they let me go for 'not being a good fit' and that would be that and I'd be looking for work again.
I dont' know what mom was trying to ask about the 'bamboozled'? I told her that the cancer was very fast growing and that G had been seeing his doctor regularly and managing his diabetes and his rheumatoid arthritis and doing his best to stay healthy ....cancer is just a fucking ugly beast. It came fast and took him fast. OTOH, I watched my bio dad fight cancer for a couple of years after his diagnosis and '6 months to live' prognosis, and that was fucking ugly and heartbreaking too.
Pepita is coughing today. I gave her a benadryl and let her lick some honey off a spoon. It's not like when Boba had kennel cough with all of the foamy phlegm....but it is worrying me.
Anyway, I got up again, had breakfast, washed up and went to see her. Aunt l. was there when i arrived, but she left pretty quick. I had brought my dog Sunny, who did alright. was nervous in an unfamiliar place but did ok otherwise. She liked sniffing around in the backyard. Mom says she doesn't get out much when I asked her if she had seen the back yard. Maybe when the weather is cooler, or if we go over earlier in the morning or later in the evening we can sit outside. If she wants to. Mostly she wants to stay in bed. She asked me if G. had cancer, and I said yes. I teared up some, and said I miss him every day. She then asked me "Why did G. let himself get ... bamboozled?" and then she shook her head and said "I don't know what I'm trying to say,"....:( she's processing the grief and h er brain is not helping her. anyway, Sunny behaved and she enjoyed the back yard. The owner's two dogs were there, black lab mix types. Very sweet boys. I think Sunny would have enjoyed them if she'd been off leash too, but I wasn't sure if I should let her run around the house without a leash on. anyway.....depressing. mom seems in good health. I left when they came to get her for lunch. she wanted to go to the table and eat with everyone. I take that as a good sign. My brother A. seems to think they're not feeding her enough, and not feeding her what she likes to eat....but she's in bed most of the day, she doesn't need that many calories.... so? I asked mom if she liked the food and she said yes. At the old place in Greencastle, she'd say "It's adequate," in a way that suggested she didn't much like it. so....she does manage to get some things across pretty well. It's just a lot of effort for her to put her thoughts together and say stuff. I hate to see her struggling like that :(
I got an email Tuesday morning with my start date and time for my next temp gig. It starts 8/12. I have jury duty 8/13. I have been calling and emailing the jury duty people to try and get a postponement or something. I know that 'the law' says a person can't be fired for going to jury duty but the law is pretty thin when it comes to protecting temps. They could just say they let me go for 'not being a good fit' and that would be that and I'd be looking for work again.
I dont' know what mom was trying to ask about the 'bamboozled'? I told her that the cancer was very fast growing and that G had been seeing his doctor regularly and managing his diabetes and his rheumatoid arthritis and doing his best to stay healthy ....cancer is just a fucking ugly beast. It came fast and took him fast. OTOH, I watched my bio dad fight cancer for a couple of years after his diagnosis and '6 months to live' prognosis, and that was fucking ugly and heartbreaking too.
Pepita is coughing today. I gave her a benadryl and let her lick some honey off a spoon. It's not like when Boba had kennel cough with all of the foamy phlegm....but it is worrying me.
