1686Re: OH DEAR GHOD

[evile]

Oct. 7, 2003

 

 

Date: Tue, 07 Oct 2003 16:13:37 +0000
From: X
Subject: you only have her side
E-
regardless of what you think and feel I will never be your ex-
friend. I will always love you. Yes, my home was raided. It was
traumatic for the children and for myself. i am not in jail, the
children are with me, and we are fine. i am divorcing [M/husband]. it is
past due. I have tried many times to reach out to you. I have never
fully understood exactly what i did that made you hate me. Yes, M.
and i were doing drugs, for the past 8 months. I was never dealing
them, but I can't speak for M. He and I have basically been
seperated since July. The condition of the house when [X's stepmom] saw it had
to do with the police turning it upside down. All the drugs found
where on M. or in his drawer. The razor blades were from a tool
box. We had recently begun renovating. Having re-painted the living
room, hallway, front bedroom and working our way thru so that it
could be sold. [Stepmom] drastically over-exaggerated things.
I am not a bad person. And the charges against me are dismissed. I
am sober now for 3 weeks. CPS has NO cases pending against me, and
didn't deem me un-fit. [J/Goddaughter] misses you terribly. You have always
been important to her. Please reconsider leaving our friendship. I am
so sorry for having upset and disappointed you. I felt unduly judged
by you when you got angry about my wanting an extra day away from
M. I wasn't, and had never used you as a cover. M and i had had
a bad marriage for a couple of years, and yes, I did have an affair
in January. It was over in January. I really did only want the extra
day for some alone time.
You told me back in April you would always be my friend, I read
your diaries when I can just to know what you have been up to. I'm
sorry about Nicky.
I didn't lose weight because of drugs. The drugs didn't start
until last April and I had already lost 95% of my weight by that
time. You have no reason to believe me, but I have no reason to lie.
Yes, I was open with the kids about my pot smoking, they never saw me
do anything else. The condition of the house was completly from
having every drawer, box, and cabinet's contents thrown about and
scattered. M will be gone for a long time.
Please re-consider opening communication with me.
-X

====
Me to J-law:

Good lord..I can't even have a nice night out without
damned X laying another self-serving guilt trip on
my sorry ass. I can't believe her shit. I was checking
my email before bath & bed and found that garbage.
agh.

I sent it to you from my freaks.net email. AT least
she had the courtesy not to mail that garbage to my
work address.

I am so DONE with her. It used to make my heart pound
when I'd see something in my inbox from her--"Is this
the email that will make me break down and go running
back to her, to do whatever she needs me to do?"...and
now it's just "Jeezus ghod, what the fuck dirty trick
is she trying now?"

*sigh* I just can't believe how selfish and self
centered she is. LIke I give a shit how she lost
weight. What I *do* give a shit about (and want to
KILL HER FUCKING ASS for) is her doing & dealing, or
allowing dealing to be done from her home, where her
children are vulnerable to it.

agh.

Anyway...enough bullshit.

Comments

699Re: OH DEAR GHOD

[evile]

Oct. 13, 2003
Xtal's reply:

Date: Sun, 12 Oct 2003 23:01:18 +0000
From: X

Subject: Re: No

I will respect your feelings although you do not give me any examples
of how our friendship was unhealthy. We practically never saw one
another, but the last few times we had been together had been fun,
and I had asked nothing of you since my gall-bladder surgery. I do
appreciate everything you have ever done for me. I will always
remember that you were a good friend. I do not want anything from you
other than your friendhip. I will always care for M, but I can
honestly say I am no longer in love with him, and haven't been for
some time. I hope some day you may want to be friends again. I am
fortunate to have many wonderful friends that love and are supportive
of me. I just always felt our friendship was special. J[goddaughter] would
like to know if she may email you. You had always taken your role as
her god-parent seriously. I promise that if you continue a
relationship with her, I will stay out of the way. I have learned
very much , and am growing more confident as each day goes by in my
abilities to care for my children and myself without the support of a
man. I am glad that you say you love me, because it gives me hope
that one day you may see and notice that I am not out to take
advantage of you, maybe I will be able to prove myself to you in some
way down the road. I am greatful that your mother is keeping in touch
with the kids. They love her very much and consider her family.
It is ironic but I live right around the corner from your [Aunt L]
right now. So I do think of you very often. I'll lay off the emails
to you. If you should change your mind down the road I will always be
available to you.
-X

==============

Irony: (from dictionary.com)

i·ro·ny ( P ) Pronunciation Key (r-n, r-)
n. pl. i·ro·nies

The use of words to express something different from and often
opposite to their literal meaning.
An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between
apparent and intended meaning.
A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical
effect. See Synonyms at wit1.

Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually
occurs: "Hyde noted the irony of Ireland's copying the nation she
most hated" (Richard Kain).
An occurrence, result, or circumstance notable for such incongruity.
See Usage Note at ironic.
Dramatic irony.
Socratic irony.

Ironic: i·ron·ic ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-rnk) also i·ron·i·cal
(-rn-kl)
adj.
Characterized by or constituting irony.
Given to the use of irony. See Synonyms at sarcastic.
Poignantly contrary to what was expected or intended: madness, an
ironic fate for such a clear thinker.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------
i·roni·cal·ly adv.
i·roni·cal·ness n.
Usage Note: The words ironic, irony, and ironically are sometimes
used of events and circumstances that might better be described as
simply "coincidental" or "improbable," in that they suggest no
particular lessons about human vanity or folly. Thus 78 percent of
the Usage Panel rejects the use of ironically in the sentence In 1969
Susie moved from Ithaca to California where she met her husband-to-
be, who, ironically, also came from upstate New York. Some Panelists
noted that this particular usage might be acceptable if Susie had in
fact moved to California in order to find a husband, in which case
the story could be taken as exemplifying the folly of supposing that
we can know what fate has in store for us. By contrast, 73 percent
accepted the sentence Ironically, even as the government was
fulminating against American policy, American jeans and
videocassettes were the hottest items in the stalls of the market,
where the incongruity can be seen as an example of human
inconsistency.