1686Re: OH DEAR GHOD

[evile]

Oct. 7, 2003

 

 

Date: Tue, 07 Oct 2003 16:13:37 +0000
From: X
Subject: you only have her side
E-
regardless of what you think and feel I will never be your ex-
friend. I will always love you. Yes, my home was raided. It was
traumatic for the children and for myself. i am not in jail, the
children are with me, and we are fine. i am divorcing [M/husband]. it is
past due. I have tried many times to reach out to you. I have never
fully understood exactly what i did that made you hate me. Yes, M.
and i were doing drugs, for the past 8 months. I was never dealing
them, but I can't speak for M. He and I have basically been
seperated since July. The condition of the house when [X's stepmom] saw it had
to do with the police turning it upside down. All the drugs found
where on M. or in his drawer. The razor blades were from a tool
box. We had recently begun renovating. Having re-painted the living
room, hallway, front bedroom and working our way thru so that it
could be sold. [Stepmom] drastically over-exaggerated things.
I am not a bad person. And the charges against me are dismissed. I
am sober now for 3 weeks. CPS has NO cases pending against me, and
didn't deem me un-fit. [J/Goddaughter] misses you terribly. You have always
been important to her. Please reconsider leaving our friendship. I am
so sorry for having upset and disappointed you. I felt unduly judged
by you when you got angry about my wanting an extra day away from
M. I wasn't, and had never used you as a cover. M and i had had
a bad marriage for a couple of years, and yes, I did have an affair
in January. It was over in January. I really did only want the extra
day for some alone time.
You told me back in April you would always be my friend, I read
your diaries when I can just to know what you have been up to. I'm
sorry about Nicky.
I didn't lose weight because of drugs. The drugs didn't start
until last April and I had already lost 95% of my weight by that
time. You have no reason to believe me, but I have no reason to lie.
Yes, I was open with the kids about my pot smoking, they never saw me
do anything else. The condition of the house was completly from
having every drawer, box, and cabinet's contents thrown about and
scattered. M will be gone for a long time.
Please re-consider opening communication with me.
-X

====
Me to J-law:

Good lord..I can't even have a nice night out without
damned X laying another self-serving guilt trip on
my sorry ass. I can't believe her shit. I was checking
my email before bath & bed and found that garbage.
agh.

I sent it to you from my freaks.net email. AT least
she had the courtesy not to mail that garbage to my
work address.

I am so DONE with her. It used to make my heart pound
when I'd see something in my inbox from her--"Is this
the email that will make me break down and go running
back to her, to do whatever she needs me to do?"...and
now it's just "Jeezus ghod, what the fuck dirty trick
is she trying now?"

*sigh* I just can't believe how selfish and self
centered she is. LIke I give a shit how she lost
weight. What I *do* give a shit about (and want to
KILL HER FUCKING ASS for) is her doing & dealing, or
allowing dealing to be done from her home, where her
children are vulnerable to it.

agh.

Anyway...enough bullshit.

Comments

[evile]

=========
me to J-Law:
Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2003 06:18:03 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Erika H"

Subject: Inspiration? or self-delusion?
To: J-Law

Last night at Cafe Mundi, I started thinking about possible ways to
spend time with the A-- kids. Xtal's latest note didn't mention
having the kids in counseling, and that bothered me. I think they
need it. So then I was thinking of PDAP, the under-18 drug and
alcohol abusers support group I used to attend with my foster brother
in HS. I don't know if there are support groups in Austin for kids
so young, so then I thought "Church". I am thinking I could arrange
to take the kids (or maybe just the 2 oldest) to church and/or Sunday
school one Sunday a month, at least. Not sure if Xtal is still on
her 'you may not see my children without supervision' kick or what,
but church is both healing for the children AND something that will
teach them more about right & wrong than they've been learning at
home, PLUS something that has built-in 'supervision'. Obviously I'm
not going to be doing or saying anything evil and destructive in the
house of God. Plus (and this one's ugly), it's not a situation where
she can coach the children to get gifts/money/stuff out of me. I was
thinking we could go to a few different services and maybe even a
kids' yoga class, just to expose them to different kinds of spiritual
practices & then if there's one we really enjoy that can become our
regular place.

I might be able to negotiate this through C [X's stepmom], like have Xtal drop
them at C & M V's and I pick them up or something, so I never
have to actually see her face or talk to her. What do you think?

[evile]

1698Re: OH DEAR GHOD

Oct. 13, 2003


J-Law's reply:

This, my dear, is a toughie.

As an initial matter, I think it's a brilliant idea. I admire you
for coming up with it - the smarts, and caring enough to think about
it and come up with a way to hang with the kids.

Assuming you do this, I think arranging it through C [X's stepmom] and picking
up/dropping of at her place is ESSENTIAL. I would say it's a deal
breaker - if C can't/won't arrange it, or Xtal won't go for it,
then don't do it. Compromise if necessary on activities, but do not
compromise on this. Even if Xtal does go for it, be prepared for
her to try to get around it, something along the lines of "Oh, I
can't take the kids to C's today because [insert stupid reason].
Can't you make an exception, just this once, and pick them up from
me?"

I guess the bottom line is, I think it's a good idea. I think it can
be done. But there will be pitfalls, some of which you can expect
and plan around, and others which will come out of nowhere. No good
dead goes unpunished and all of that.

But, if you really really really, in your heart of hearts, want to
have contact with the kids, and want to do something to help them, I
think this is a possibility.

I just don't want you to get sucked into Xtal's orbit and get hurt.
Obviously, you aren't going to fall for some obviously manipulative
ploy.... but try to watch out for little things - ways she might suck
you in incrementally.

XOXOXO! Love you!