evile

15 Nov. 7:08 am

[Aunt L] called after I wrote this and asked to borrow some beading
tools. I will take them over today when I get [Cousin B] for the full moon
gathering (looks like it's not gonna be much of a gathering. Me and
[Cousin B], Elena's got a class, Maggiemaepisces rsvpd but I don't think she can get up
the hill, Eric B said he has a class and might show up later. feh.)

Anyway, she said she was sorry [Cousin B] had pooped out on me. I told her I
should have gone and I was mad at myself for being so dependent on
others to motivate myself and she was all like 'you can always go by
yourself another time' and I got (irrationally) angry and said "no,
no I can't. The reason I have Krav scheduled certain times is because
I'm busy the other nights" and then she backpedaled and said she
meant I could go twice on the nights I'm available (um, no).. it just
made me mad. She had no business apologizing on [Cousin B]'s behalf. She has
no business enabling him to be a worthless piece of crap like Uncle Bubba
and [brother A]. I HATE to see it. HATE it. But there's fuck-all I can do if
[Cousin B] has decided to be unreliable, lazy, and worthless, and nothing I
can do to keep [Aunt L] from encouraging/enabling/pandering to it.

God damn it. It just makes me sick and sad.

And I'm still fucking mad at myself for not going to class on my own.