3739krav, [Cousin B], etc.

[evile]

4 Nov. 7:09 am

 

 

[Cousin B] got suspended for a day and a half, for being out in the hall
without a hall pass, but mostly for being defiant and using foul
language. [Aunt L] took him out and bought him a new CD and a ticket to
the Nov 12 CKY show while he was out of school. She was mad at him,
mostly for speaking disrspectfully to an adult, but then she
basically rewards him for it. argh.

If he was in my house, he would NOT have been going anywhere while at
home on suspension, would NOT have a new CD and would DEFINITELY not
be going to a show anytime soon.

But I'm not the parent here, so I don't have anything to say about it.

I got a book called 'smart boys' from the library about gifted boys
and how to raise them to be happy, well adjsuted, etc. The section
about "The Mothers Companion" really rang true for me; I think a lot
of his conflict with his mom happened when he went from being her
companion, confidant, helper, to wanting his own life & friends and
interests. And I definitely think he needs more adult males in his
life, because he really craves father love, even if he doesn't admit
it. *sigh*

We were not each others partner in Krav class last night, he went off
with another guy and I went off with Sara, the only other girl in
class. He said he got a lot more out of the class, got a really good
workout, was very sweaty and endorphiny after class. oddly, I didn't
get as much as usual. Oh well. It's all good. I still got a good
workout. The fact I can get thru it without being completely blown is
a good sign.

[Aunt L] took us to Mandarin House for dinner afterwards. [Cousin B] was spacey
and didn't eat much. I know that feeling. :)

[Uncle B] drove me home [[Aunt L] had picked me up directly from work, we went
to Tina, then to Krav. I gave [Cousin B] my Tina appointment, my hair hadn't
grown out much since the emergency repair cut at the mall] and I gave
[Cousin B] a piece of black tourmaline for his litle rock bag he's going to
start wearing around his neck.

I still need to dye my hair. back to natural for the fall/winter.
Maybe forever. For the job hunt. *sigh*

Comments

[evile]

3740Re: krav, [Cousin B], etc.


4 Nov. 9:21 am


[Cousin B] has had some things come back recently to bite him on the ass; a
friend's mom caught the friend skipping school Friday and with pot
and called other parents in [Cousin B]'s group to tell them that [Cousin B] was the
one selling it to them, and that he'd been kicked out of his school
in Boerne and that's why he's up here in Austin. So basically, he's
no longer welcome at 2 of his 3 friends' houses anymore. He's mad,
and the story is a good mixture of truth and falsehood--yes he
skipped school last Friday, yes he smokes with his friends, but he's
not selling pot to them, and yes he got kicked out of his HOUSE in
Boerne (because his mom and g'ma are NUTS) but not his SCHOOL. But if
he hadn't been skipping & smoking up with his little friends, it
would be 100% false. I understand his frustration with the
unfairness, but without that grain of truth, without his own bad
choices at the core, the woman would have nothing. It's been
difficult to get him to accept that his actions have consequences and
that, no, people aren't going to be fair about dividing truth from
falsehood, especially when you HAVE behaved badly.

Then he got suspended for a day and a half this week, for not having
a hall pass. Not just not having the pass, I think, but being defiant
and disrespectful to the pissant vice principal who caught him in the
hallway, who he had already encountered in the big 'sexual
harassment' hoo-ha. My aunt was mad at him, but during his day and a
half of suspension, she took him on her errands, bought him a CD and
a ticket to a concert next weekend.

I just think that's a very poor decision on her part. The suspension
was supposed to be punishment and it was actually a nice break, with
presents. For sure if he was MY kid, he would not be going to any
damn concert after getting in trouble at school!

It's frustrating for me..he's a good kid, but he has serious issues
with authority and he can be a total asshole especially when a male
authority figure starts pushing him around. I empathize...but he
needs to learn not to let people push his buttons, and not to
escalate things, and that when he fucks up, there are consequences.
And I just don't know if he's learning any of that....