2231Re: Brother A & The Rubber Pig's Wedding

[evile]

Jun. 1, 2004

 

 

--- Rio
wrote:
Hey evilE! How's it going? Got any plans for your Birthday?


Rio!

-----
Date: Sun, 30 May 2004 17:08:42 -0700 (PDT)
From: evilE
Subject: Re: Hello
To: Rio

Hey! I am sorry I never wrote you back. We went out
for dinner with my aunt & uncle for my bday, and I
guess that was about it. These things become less
thrilling the older you get.

Big news--Brother A was originally going to get married on
July 10, but now his fiancee is having surgery next
Friday, and (big drama!) she may be crippled after the
surgery is over (almost certainly a lie)...But anyway,
they decided to have some sort of ceremony tomorrow,
Memorial Day, at Sunken Gardens at Noon. I will be
there with my Aunt L & Uncle B, maybe Sweetie(?--we
just got back from camping & he is exhausted &
sunburned)

so...if you feel like going to sunken gardens around
noon tomorrow & meeting Brother A's woman & such, you and
yours are more than welcome. Obviously, it's a very
casual thing, so dress comfy & don't worry about any
kind of present or card or anything. I'm sure that on
such short notice it's not going to be any formal
ceremony & whatever.

--------------
From: Rio

I know what you mean about bdays..sighs. So whats going on with the
Brother A's woman surgery? Sounds serious..crippling and all..? Recently
I developed some kind of skin rash near my chin .. or I just have
hypersensitive skin .. and being in the sun doesnt help any.. makes
it worse.. It looks alot better but I have to watch the sun.. think
I"m becoming a vampire lol..I stopped using foundation..just
moisturizer with sunscreen and powder. See what age does to ya??

Wow so Brother A is really going through with it..I do wish him the best
though.

And you? How are you doing? How was camping? OUch sun burn..
I have some errands to tend to tomorrow..and other numb minding
business I need to take care of..but do send them my best wishes..
and take pics! I wanna see!
-----------
Me to Rio:

Brother A's woman can't do anything without major drama.
Apparently, the story is she fell in the tub or
something, and went to the ER because her back hurt,
and the Drs found that she has some kind of
degenerative spinal condition, so there will be
surgery on the 4th to fuse her vertebrae and she will
be in the hospital for an entire month, and then home
on bed rest for 2 months after that. Her 3 kids are
staying with her mom for the summer, and I guess Brother A
and/or Trey (her other husband....) will be taking
care of her.

I think the real story is not nearly as dramatic and
interesting, but I also think I will not get to ever
hear the real story.

So...the wedding. The Rubber Pig's mom was a total BITCH to all
of Brother A's few family members who could show up on such
short notice. She walked up to my aunt L and said
"You're the aunt?" in this totally flat voice. I don't
think she even said hello or nice to meet you or
ANYTHING when I was introduced. She treated us all
like SHIT. Like it's OUR fault her daughter's a freaky
skank ho???

Anyway--there no marriage licence, no real minister,
just a friend with one of those 'internet minister
license' things, no religious divorce from Trey,
possibly no REAL divorce from Trey...When she goes in
for surgery on Friday, she's still on his insurance.
Which is good, considering that Brother A STILL has no job
& no insurance. The Rubber Pig borrowed her freind's wedding
dress. (her friend was the only bridesmaid/matron of
honor/whatever)

The Rubber Pig's 3 children are very sweet little girls. I
really liked them. I think even if things go bad
betwen Brother A & The Rubber Pig, Brother A will tough it out for the
sake of the children. (sad...but what can ya do?)

Sorry to hear about your skin condition. Have you seen
a Dr. yet? Sounds kind of like rosacea. If you are
using any cream with AHAs (alpha hydroxy acid, vitamin
C, fruit acids, stuff like that) that can make your
skin sensitive to light. Also if you take St. John's
Wort, you can become more sensitive to light. I hope
it gets better. I remember when my aunt hit her 30s
she suddenly became allergic to just about
everything--she had to get rid of all her perfumes &
scented lotions and everything.

Sweetie is still sunburned but it looks like it will fade
to a tan. We are both covered in chigger bites. Talk
about a GREAT weekend... *sigh*

There's a bellydance show here Friday night (the 4th)
at 8pm, and another one Saturday the 26th at Natural
Magic at 7 pm, if you want to come up? Also, I'm
totally free the weekend of the 19-20. We should get
together sometime :) Maybe cook out, go tubing, or something?

Comments

2232Re: Brother A & The Rubber Pig's Wedding

[evile]

Jun. 1, 2004

From: stepdad
Subject: Re: Brother A and The Rubber Pig's Wedding
To: "evilE

If we come down we would love to stay with you. Brother A and I discussed
the situation and he knew we couldn't come down now nor would we be
able to attend in the fall. He didn't expect us to attend. He was
pretty bummed out about not being able to have the wedding in July.
He really wanted to have us there. I don't think your mom had her
feelings hurt. Brother A called her late at night, after midnight, and she
was very tired so she didn't sound too sympathetic to him. We want
his happiness, however he can find it. I, personally, have never
been one to stand on ceremony. Both your mom and I have concerns
over all of this mainly because of Brother A's track record in pursuing
his goals. There is often a high expectation that rarely proves out.
This isn't a job he can walk away from a year or two down the road. I
have spoken with The Rubber Pig and she seems all right, for the most part,
extremely chatty indeed. I'm glad to hear she is not similar to
Skye_ds. To tell you the truth, I would have listened to [aunt L] either.
It probably would have been e has it in his head better for them if
they waited until after the the surgery and the healing, but you can
never tell Brother A anything after he has decided what he is going to do.
I learned that a long time ago. Sorry to hear that her mother was
rude. I'm sure The Rubber Pig's parents are not happy about this relationship.
But my feeling about them is joke them if they can't take a fuck. It
would make life easier if they were supportive, but it's Brother A and
The Rubber Pig's life and they have to accept the consequences of their
actions. Both Brother A and sineater are lucky to have your support and even
though [aunt L and uncle B] irk me sometimes, they have been stellar in their
overall support of all you kids.
I will be going to get your mom next weekend. When we get back I'll
show her the pictures.

Love you lots also too,
G

2243Re: Brother A & The Rubber Pig's Wedding

[evile]

Jun. 3, 2004

-- J-Law wrote:
Your conclusions sound about right. I guess my only
lingering question/concern is re: Patrick. What he
did to you really was shitty - certainly poorly
executed, in terms of the mishegoss with the card,
hand-delivered late, and all of that. OTOH, men
tend not to be that great about the
whens/wheres/hows of initiating a discussion about a
relationship. The result is that he dropped this
bomb on you in a really unexpected, inappropriate
way, and sort of expected you to defuse it or
whatever.

This clumsiness, while hurtful to you, doesn't
necessarily mean that he is insincere in how he
feels about you/your friendship. It COULD be an
INDICATION that he isn't altogether sincere, i.e.,
is just making noise for lack of something real to
say... but it doesn't necessarily follow, if you get
what I mean.

So.... maybe give yourself a few days. Unwind a bit
from the wedding weirdness, get some sleep, and just
sort of hang out in your routine for a bit. Don't
overthink the Pat stuff during this time. Revisit
it later, and see if maybe you feel differently
(although, I am by no means saying that you SHOULD
feel differently) and want to try to have a dialogue
with Pat about y'all's friendship.

Sure, his wife is tactless and he has been sort of
weirdly (non)communicative.... but, unless there's
something I've forgotten, I don't think he has
overtly, selfishly, and shamelessly used/abused you
or your friendship. To use a specific and
ever-handy example, this is not like X, who
purposefully and intentionally manipulated you, and
tried to use you, e.g., getting you to pay for
things, etc. Pat, in contrast, may just be an
emotional klutz. It is, of course, totally unfair
and understandable that you feel hurt, and if you do
decide to have a talk with him, you would be totally
justified in telling him so.

Last item on the Pat front: Pat probably did write
his little note after Sonya signed the card. I
don't necessarily think this means that he wants to
have a little extracurricular activity with you. My
hope is that he understands that you are in a
committed relationship and, further, that as his
friend, you would never dream of jeopardize his
committed relationship by having an affair.

The timing of his note is all about what's in his
head, not about you. It could simply reflect his
belief that, since his note pertained solely to you
and him, and is totally innocent, that it wasn't
any of Sonya's business/concern.... after all, would
you want Sonya to be privy to Pat's feeling that
y'all's friendship might be foundering?

He might have discussed it with her, sure - she's
his wife - but that's a whole different ball of wax
than the appearance of impropriety/indiscretion that
would be present if he wrote his note to you right
under her nose.

Love you lots, baby - I know you'll do the right
thing, whatever that may be. I gotta run. More
later.

J
---------
From: "evilE
Subject: Re: Where are you?
To: "J-Law

Point taken. Never attribute to malice what can be
blamed on stupidity. Or however that saying goes... I
think I'm just going to wait & see whether or not Pat
follows up with any actual action or effort. If not,
the ball can lay where he dropped it, ya know?

What did you think of the wedding photos? I wish I'd
gotten video--The Rubber Pig was shaking and crying and
practically hyperventilating the whole time. Uncle B said
(very kindly) that she was probably in pain from her
back injury. I just think she's got so much of TEH
KRAZY in her head that she was about to blow a gasket.
(Did I tell you she married Trey in the same place
back when they got married?!? F--ed up!)

--- J-Law wrote:
Sounds like a good plan re: Pat - if he was/is
sincere about what he said, he should follow
through.

Unfo, I haven't gotten a chance to look at the
photos yet.... I have been up to my ass in
alligators, but I do hope to give them a squint
sometime today.

Uncle B is so nice. But I am sure you're right - it's
alla that ca-razay in her head that was making her
squirrelly. You did tell me about the re-use of the
same venue. Unbelievable. Every time I hear what I
think is the tackiest wedding gaffe EVER, something
else comes along to beat it.

I, for one, plan to elope.
---
From: "evilE
Subject: Re: Where are you?
To: "J-Law"

Today is the 9th anniversary of my first date with
Sweetie. Considering that so far we've outlasted my mom's
first 2 marriages, as well as my father's, possibly 1
or both of [stepdad]'s first 2, and both of Uncle Bubba's
attempts with his 1st wife, I am totally going with
the Living in Sin idea. No fuss, no muss, and we can
have kick-ass parties any ol' time without the
horrible wedding ceremony first, right ;)

I am feeling like maybe I owe Pat some sort of "the
ball is in your court" message, just to let him know
I'm open to the idea of renewing ties but not willing
to do any work until he shows some initiative. But I'm
sitting on that urge for now.

I am just having a hard time believing all this 'back
surgery' nonsense considering that when they called
Tuesday, Brother A told me that they went strolling on the
Riverwalk for hours after the wedding and rode an IMAX
VR ride...which if I recall, you're NOT supposed to do
if you have a back condition... Then again, I also get
a big 'take care of me/martyr' vibe from The Rubber Pig (much
like UBs, as a matter o'fact) in which she deliberately doesn't take
care of herself so that the men in her life can 'prove' how much they
care by reminding her to eat/sleep/drink water/NOT go on back-shaking
rides/not try to do stuff when she's sick & hurting, bla bla. It's
very annoying.

2246Re: Brother A & The Rubber Pig's Wedding

[evile]

Jun. 3, 2004

Date: Thu, 3 Jun 2004 10:23:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: J-Law
Subject: Re: Where are you?
To: mE

Wow!!!! That is awesome! Congratulations!

A ball is in your court sort of message might be good. Something
that indicates your willingness to hear him out, but making it fairly
clear that he's got to lead the way, i.e., he opened this can of
worms, so let's see what he's willing to do to tidy it up.

Yeah, all of that back stuff sounds pretty dodgy to me, too. I
loathe manipulative women. Women (notable male examples such as
Wisco John notwithstanding) seem to have a monopoly on this sorta
crap.

Back to work.... it is insane here.

2244Re: Brother A & The Rubber Pig's Wedding- Rio's thoughts

[evile]

Jun. 3, 2004


From: Rio
Subject: Re: Hello
To: "evilE "

Goodness! Brother A must really love the hell outta that woman to go
through drama with her. Thanks for sharing the wedding pics btw..Brother A
looks good and happy from what I can see. The operation sounds
painful..but i'm sure she'll pull through with no prb.
Haha yep..gotta add the drama..geeze I cant believe she's still
legally married to her other hub?? Damn..what the hell? If she loves
your bro she should be respectful and grow up ..and get a divorce
from her other hub. I think thats just wrong. But thats me.
Poor Brother A. SOrry to hear that her mom was a bitch to everyone..I
totally know where youre coming from. Maybe her mom is embrassed of
the fact that her daughter is a ho and only way to react is to be a
bitch? lol..I dont know..I dont understand how anyone
can be a bitch to other folks you dont know or to be part of
the "family". Whatever on her and her daughter. I do feel for her
kiddos. Thats great theyre sweet...wow, I do wish Brother A the best
though..love is blind isnt it?

2247Re: Brother A & The Rubber Pig's Wedding- Rio's thoughts

[evile]

Jun. 3, 2004


I'm glad your skin is getting better. Sounds like I need to get some
Vitamin E for my legs!

Sweetie is peeling a little, but most of it turned into a tan almost
right away. I alwyas just burn and peel and look the same, with maybe
a few more freckles afterwards and that's about it.

You are exactly right--Brother A looks happy & he is happy, so that's the
important part. Who cares if The Rubber Pig's mom is a bitch, that's her
problem, not ours! I hope everything turns out OK for them.

Today is the 9th anniversary of our first date. We dont' have any
plans, far as I know. Sweetie's Volkswagen folks are having their monthly
meeting tonight, so we'll probably go to that & get some special
pizza & beer to celebrate ;)

Love ya & glad you're feeling better. Thanks for your kind words &
sensible outlook!

XO!

=E

2245Re: Brother A & The Rubber Pig's Wedding - Dee's thoughts

[evile]

Jun. 3, 2004

From: "D
Subject: Re: Ebay user name and Brother A
To: "evilE

Hey Sweetie,

I don't get the Brother A marriage thing....wasn't the chick still married
for a long while? It seems that the men in your family sure do have
a thing with wierd women. But you're right. He's grown and it is
his life. One can only hope that you don't have to be there to
attempt to help him pick up the pieces after whatever is happens.
My ebay user name is tribalmooncreations. Right now, I've got a few
ceramic figurines on there and hope to have a few more things up by
next week after I finish painting them. I really need to get this
stuff sold so I can save the cash for Disney this Xmas as we're still
hoping to go.

As for Midsummer no plans. I was gonna go to that Summer Gathering
but the woman never got back in touch with me to help plan the kid's
events and with mom flying in on the 18th, especially after [husband]'s
behavior in Feb., I didn't think it wise to leave him alone with my
mom that soon after getting here. So I'll probably just light a fire
in our backyard and dance around it. A few days ago, I found the
program and a piece of the fabric I wore for A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S
DREAM.....ahhh Fosse Fairies...that was a great experience.
Anyhoo....Atlanta is about 3 hours away from here but if you do
decide to come, you're more than welcome! We have the space!
Well I'd better go attempt to get the laundry done so I can do
something fun. I promised myself I'd get my chores done before
sitting in my craft room. Tell Brother A congradulations (I guess) and
give love to Sweetie and your kitties.
Love to you always!
D