people vs. behavior

[evile]

The bible says something like "hate the sin, love the sinner" and I've read other spiritual and philosophical works which express similar. It's something I really struggle with.

I'm terribly judgemental, and I know it. I try not to be...but it's hard. I don't know how to say "I hate lying, I hate abuse, I hate stealing, I hate drug abuse, but gosh, I sure do love the person who does those things."

I know that a lot of people who are abusive, self-destructive, and engaging in illegal or immoral activities may be doing so because they're in terrible pain, they're not in their right mind, or they dont know any better...but I just have a very hard time being sympathetic. And it's sad because I know that the people who least deserve love and sympathy are the ones who need it most.

I try.

Sometimes the best I can do is stand at a distance and hope for the best. I'm sorry for that, and I wish I could do more...I'm trying. (If it helps at all, I hold myself to the same standards of behavior that I hold others to, and I get just as harsh with myself when I fail as I do with others.)

Comments

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

In my experience, you can only take that as far as is healthy for you. My prime living example of this is that I honestly feel that I cannot simultaneously love myself and love my father, and that any attempt to do so is self-destructive for me. So, I chose myself. A lot of people dislike, resent and put me down for this. I don't care. I can only care that I got out alive. I realise in a cerebral way that something must have happened to him or that he was born without some part of human functioning in order to be the way he is, but I can't worry about that, and I can't do any reparative work for him, and he seems to show no willingness or desire to do any for himself, so I simply can't be bothered. I have my own life to be responsible for. *shrug*

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

I think you hit it right on the head--people who I see being nasty and hurtful and not taking any personal responsibility or trying to do better, I don't want to deal with. They are the rabid dogs.

I'd like to be able to meet the people who are honestly struggling with their demons halfway...so that's my issue, I guess.