people vs. behavior

[evile]

The bible says something like "hate the sin, love the sinner" and I've read other spiritual and philosophical works which express similar. It's something I really struggle with.

I'm terribly judgemental, and I know it. I try not to be...but it's hard. I don't know how to say "I hate lying, I hate abuse, I hate stealing, I hate drug abuse, but gosh, I sure do love the person who does those things."

I know that a lot of people who are abusive, self-destructive, and engaging in illegal or immoral activities may be doing so because they're in terrible pain, they're not in their right mind, or they dont know any better...but I just have a very hard time being sympathetic. And it's sad because I know that the people who least deserve love and sympathy are the ones who need it most.

I try.

Sometimes the best I can do is stand at a distance and hope for the best. I'm sorry for that, and I wish I could do more...I'm trying. (If it helps at all, I hold myself to the same standards of behavior that I hold others to, and I get just as harsh with myself when I fail as I do with others.)

Comments

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I do get sympathy and empathy...but I still don't want lying, cheating, abusive, immoral, etc. people in my life or anywhere near anybody I care about.

Often for me, my sympathy goes towards the spectrum of putting a rabid dog out of its misery...and that's not a good feeling to have towards people.

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

I still don't want lying, cheating, abusive, immoral, etc. people in my life or anywhere near anybody I care about.

Well Good Goddess, woman, that's just common sense!! I agree that it is better to love people than any of the other alternatives, but there's nothing to say that you can't love from a distance. There are people that I love dearly, and I am happy enough when they're on a different continent.

Often for me, my sympathy goes towards the spectrum of putting a rabid dog out of its misery...and that's not a good feeling to have towards people.

No it's not. There's a huge, huge difference between symnpathy and empathy, though. The Buddhists have involved, specific meditations that have as their sole goal gaining empathy towards others.