I wrote to Jen this am: (title: the ungodly nerve)
"Oh, I haven't spoken to you for a year and we have all these
unresolved things from the past that I could throw back in your face
*any second*, but come sew my horse a costume and let me use you,
okay?"
I am just so goddamned offended.I am going to let her note sit for a
week or so, then try and compose some sort of response that leaves
the door open enough for me to know what she's up to so that I can
figure out how to spend time with E. She's just so freakin' all or
nothing; I am sure she'll be offended if I tell her there's no way in
hades that I'll EVER be her damn slave.
I am thinking I'll word my refusal in such a way that casts doubt on
my sewing skills or somesuch. To be honest, I have no experience
sewing silky, slidy stuff, and from what I understand velvet, silk,
and such are really tricky to sew. So it'd be true.
I just feel like she's put me into yet another no-win situation.
=================================================
Jen said:
I can't believe anyone could be that manipulative. I am offended on
your behalf. I can't believe anyone would have the temerity to ask
you to be her slave apropos of NOTHING and with all that dramatic
history.
Definitely sit on your response and compose it as you described. Or,
ignore it altogether.
We didn't win the lotto, unfortunately, so we might have to start
saving for a hitman. A little here, a little there, and before you
know it, someone will be wearing cement shoes.
Am v.v.v. tired. I hardly slept last night, it was so hot. I will
probably nap at lunch, maybe even outside. I am beyond excited for
tonight. The Making of a Chef is the most inspiring book, I swear.
When all these CIA kids go on their externships, they go to major
restaurants (Le Bernardin, La Grenouille, etc.) where many of the
chefs worked their way up - didn't go to culinary school. I could do
that, too.
===========================================================
I said:
It's not just the manipulativeness, it's the fucking TRANSPARENCY of
it. Like I'm too stupid to realize what she's attempting to do, like
she doesn't respect my brains enough to even construct a better
pretense at actual niceness. Hey, I'm manipulative sometimes, but I
do it in such a way that it's not so fucking OBVIOUS and insulting!
She can lick my anus. ew. No. no she cant'. She needs to stay the
fuck away from me. But I need to arrange it in such a way that I get
to see & talk to E.
Sorry you had a bad night. Hopefully the thrill of your first night
will keep you going thru the banquet & stuff.
I have taken naps at lunchtime before--I have a little alarm I can
set on my cell phone to wake me up to go back to work. :)
...she definitely needs cement shoes. BIG f-in cement clown shoes. To
offset the buoyancy of her blubberous boobs. Boob. UGH. I am just so
horrified by her 'invitation'. bleh.
==================================================================
Bleh bleh bleh.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evile
no subject
Date: 2019-11-09 12:37 am (UTC)Jun. 6, 2002
JEN:
That is exactly it. The fact that she didn't even try to be subtle,
if she even knows how. Sickening.
Or you could sew her stuff and fuck it up real bad.
But that wouldn't help you see E. Would do the opposite, I
think. Too bad.
Cement clown shoes. *hee*
Unfo, my cell phone doesn't have an alarm. However, I have learned
that (a) you can get anything on the internet, and (b) many times it
is free. I am gonna download a fucking alarm clock:
<http://www.ornj.net/software/citrus/index.html>
===================================================
My reply:
Well, it's like I said, I feel like she's setting me up for another
no-win situation. If I agree to sew her horse garb, I will be 'in'
with her for a little while. Until I fuck it up (deliberately or
accidentally) and then I'm in trouble. On the off-chance that I
manage to sew it without a fuckup, then I am still stuck being her
slave. If I just flat-out tell her I can't/won't be her sewing-
slave, then I'm in trouble. And if I indicate that I feel like we
need to 'hash' our past issues and NEVER bring them up again once
they are 'hashed', then I'll really be fuxored. No way for me to
interact with her while keeping my own dignity/honor AND keeping on
good terms with her. No way to get what I want AND give her what she
wants at the same time. No win.
If I go hang out in the nest of geeks that is Drekmore (or whatever
it's called), I'll either be more popular than her (so ewwy on so
many levels) and be in trouble, or I'll be a dork and cramp her
style. Although from hearing her stories of all the various groups
she's joined and then had meltdowns in (CMA, Student Pagans, Austin
High Fantasy Society, Vampire MUSH, etc.), I'd kinda like to watch it
happen once. Big entertaining drama. Maybe. Or maybe she'll just
stalk away and then rant and rave about it for years afterwards.
Boring!
I think, just to get it OUT of my system, I'll reply to her email
(and not send it) EXACTLY the way I want to. Just let 'er have it.
Then go back and re-do with P.C., hopefully inoffensive, responses.
Then again, she takes insult to whatever she wants to without much
rhyme or reason, so I'm probably fucked no matter what I do.
Maybe I'll go to Dorktopia (or whatever its called) one Sunday and
hide in a tree with a dart gun.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-09 12:42 am (UTC)Jun. 6, 2002
JEN:
Writing an email with what you really wanna say is a great idea. I
have done that myself on many, many occassions. You can even send it
to me, if you want the satisfaction of clicking "send." :)
I agree with everything that you said - no win. As for the response
you actually send to her, maybe just say "thanks for thinking of me,
but I don't think my limited sewing skills would be of much help to
you. Good luck!!!" and leave it at that. She's like that plant in
Little Shop of Horrors. Get too close, and she will suck you in. As
you said, she will take offense no matter what you say/do. May as
well minimize your efforts and keep your distance. You have found
ways of seeing/catching up with E without having to endure
Dreckmor and SIL's miserable company. Thus, I am not sure that you
need to suss a way of getting there without being her slave and
minimizing her inevitable pique at something you allegedly did or
failed to to do. I would avoid this whole Dreckmor thing, even if it
would be fun to watch an instant-classic meltdown.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-09 12:43 am (UTC)Jun. 6, 2002
ME:
Thanks for letting me vent. I feel much better. Who knows. I might be
able to wrangle a friendship out of her yet. Possibly not worth it.
But my thoughts are definitely clearer after all that.
JEN:
I am glad you feel better, thoughts are clearer, etc.
But you won't ever forge a friendship with her. She is like the
friendship anti-magnet. She pushes people away. She does not know
the meaning of friendship, and will only cause you pain. The best
you can ever expect to accomplish is a tentative peace.
Peace is not friendship. Peace means that you are not actively
engaged in war. She will wage war against you, say hideous things
about you, bait you, ignore you, just as she has always done. I
know you won't stoop to that level, but neither can you expect to
elevate her. Remain politely neutral, and strengthen your ties to
E as best you can. SIL tries to get in the way, I know, but you
can find ways to work around her.