EJ June 6 2002

[evile]

 

 570 still feeling sick

• Jun. 6, 2002

   

  But today I think it's allergies. I wouldn't even be at work if it
  wasn't for my Tina appt. after work with Lynn. And then Tom and I are
  going to the monthly Air Coolers meeting, where I'll get to see
  Rachelle. :) I liked her. I hope we can get to be friends.
  
  I need friends.
  
  Yet I don't seem to have time $ for spending w/ friends.
  
  Anyhoo...I really need a PT job. Less time, more $. Atleast for a
  while..
  
  Horoscopes for today:
  
  
  
  Taurus
  Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
  Your heart may be fluttering off in many different directions today,
  dear Taurus, while your brain seems to be in another dimension
  entirely. Try to keep hold of the reins and not let yourself get
  paralyzed by overwhelming emotions. Today is a good day to
  communicate your feelings with others and let your emotions out on
  the table. Tonight would be a good night to move towards the object
  of your desire.
  
  Gemini
  Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
  Your mind may be a bit more cloudy and scattered than usual, dear
  Gemini, so you should work on trying to stay focused and disciplined -
  especially when it comes to finishing through on projects. There is
  a great deal of energy at your disposal today, and you should make
  the most out of every drop. Spend time with friends and communicate
  your thoughts with others. Your mind will be triggered. Act on it.

   

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572 Oh, I could just spit!

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•  

  Jun. 6, 2002

   

  I wrote to Jen this am: (title: the ungodly nerve)
  "Oh, I haven't spoken to you for a year and we have all these
  unresolved things from the past that I could throw back in your face
  *any second*, but come sew my horse a costume and let me use you,
  okay?"
  
  I am just so goddamned offended.I am going to let her note sit for a
  week or so, then try and compose some sort of response that leaves
  the door open enough for me to know what she's up to so that I can
  figure out how to spend time with E. She's just so freakin' all or
  nothing; I am sure she'll be offended if I tell her there's no way in
  hades that I'll EVER be her damn slave.
  
  I am thinking I'll word my refusal in such a way that casts doubt on
  my sewing skills or somesuch. To be honest, I have no experience
  sewing silky, slidy stuff, and from what I understand velvet, silk,
  and such are really tricky to sew. So it'd be true.
  
  I just feel like she's put me into yet another no-win situation.
  
  =================================================
  Jen said:
  
  I can't believe anyone could be that manipulative.   I am offended on
  your behalf.  I can't believe anyone would have the temerity to ask
  you to be her slave apropos of NOTHING and with all that dramatic
  history.
  
  Definitely sit on your response and compose it as you described.  Or,
  ignore it altogether. 
  
  We didn't win the lotto, unfortunately, so we might have to start
  saving for a hitman.  A little here, a little there, and before you
  know it,  someone will be wearing cement shoes.
  
  Am v.v.v. tired.  I hardly slept last night, it was so hot.  I will
  probably nap at lunch, maybe even outside.  I am beyond excited for
  tonight.  The Making of a Chef is the most inspiring book, I swear. 
  When all these CIA kids go on their externships, they go to major
  restaurants (Le Bernardin, La Grenouille, etc.) where many of the
  chefs worked their way up - didn't go to culinary school.  I could do
  that, too.
  ===========================================================
  I said:
  
  It's not just the manipulativeness, it's the fucking TRANSPARENCY of
  it. Like I'm too stupid to realize what she's attempting to do, like
  she doesn't respect my brains enough to even construct a better
  pretense at actual niceness. Hey, I'm manipulative sometimes, but I
  do it in such a way that it's not so fucking OBVIOUS and insulting!
  
  She can lick my anus. ew. No. no she cant'. She needs to stay the
  fuck away from me. But I need to arrange it in such a way that I get
  to see & talk to E.
  
  Sorry you had a bad night. Hopefully the thrill of your first night
  will keep you going thru the banquet & stuff.
  
  I have taken naps at lunchtime before--I have a little alarm I can
  set on my cell phone to wake me up to go back to work. :)
  
  ...she definitely needs cement shoes. BIG f-in cement clown shoes. To
  offset the buoyancy of her blubberous boobs. Boob. UGH. I am just so
  horrified by her 'invitation'. bleh.
  ==================================================================
  
  Bleh bleh bleh.