evile

Not quite. As others have noted, astrology is generally just a superstition, a pseudoscience, and a rubbish set of nonsense.

However. The name of the narcissist’s game is Manipulation. They will use anything and everything they can in order to Use, Abuse, Confuse, and Lose their targets, be that religion, philosophy, politics, gender roles, astrology, tarot, pop psychology, or whatever they just read in a book, saw on TV, or heard on the radio. Anything and everything can be a building block for the narcissist’s arsenal.

Therefore, if the TARGET believes in astrology, the narc will use that belief against them.

It may start in the first days of the narc stalking new supply by the narc learning their target has some magical/mystical beliefs or is curious about the occult. The narc will then do some rudimentary research to learn buzzwords and talking points related to that interest. They’ll say things like “Oh, you’re a Virgo and I’m a Scorpio, we were meant to be! We have an electric Twin Flame connection through our birth signs!” etc. They may even download software to ‘cast’ their and their target’s horoscopes to appear to be an expert in the field of astrology.

Later on, they may use astrology as an excuse for bad behavior, or as a way to gaslight their target. “Virgos always overreact,” or “Mercury Retrograde made me lose my temper that day,” or what-have-you.

Let me be clear: they will not use astrology per se, because it is nonsense— a pseudoscience at best. They will use their target’s BELIEF in astrology. Just as they will use their target’s belief in a religious faith that expects spouses to stay together ’til death do us part’ or spiritual beliefs that dictate one spouse to be ‘head of the household’ and the other spouse to be faithful, silent, obedient, etc.

Narcissists believe in nothing, they just pick and choose among various beliefs for best ways to trap, control and exploit their victims.

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Not in my experience or observation, no.

Narcissists lack the ability to self reflect, or be introspective, or even really have a good grip on the idea of ‘cause-and-effect’.

To be sure, narcissist’s lives are often miserable, and they seem to screech from one disaster and drama to the next, but they don’t learn anything from it, they don’t grow as human beings, and they certainly don’t modify their behavior in a way that makes them kinder, gentler, or easier to get along with. They just don’t operate that way. They are incapable. They just can’t. It’s part of their disorder.

I have observed famous wealthy and powerful people who appear to be abusers and narcissists thrive and prosper, living long lives full of praise, power, money, glamour, and glory while people they’ve victimized suffer and ultimately fade away. These people have every outward sign of having everything a person would need to be happy but if they are narcissists, it’s unlikely that they actually feel any satisfaction.

I have also observed narcissists of my personal acquaintance thrive and prosper, spreading lies, making life miserable for other people, even managing to lie and manipulate situations so that other people go to jail while they walk free after doing the same and worse than the person serving the time.

It’s all pretty disgusting and disheartening to watch.

I’ve also seen one particular narcissist make the same mistake again and again, over a span of years, never learning from the mistake, only making it bigger and more expensive every time. They cry and wail and oh poor me and how could this have happened and on and on, but they don’t learn from it.

Similarly, they go back time and again to create and re-create dysfunctional relationships with the same personality types again and again, with the same predictable terrible results. They are simultaneously running in two hamster-wheels of dysfunction, it seems to me: the cycle of abuse[1] , and the idealize-devalue-discard cycle[2] of the narcissist. You know what they say about insanity: doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results[3] . That’s the narcissist.

"I’ll buy THIS truck. It is perfect and wonderful. It will tow everything I need it to tow. I will just keep adding larger and larger things for it to tow. OH NO IT BROKE! I hate this truck. It is stupid. Why did my stupid spouse make me buy this truck? My spouse is stupid. They do not understand trucks. They do not understand my trailer. They are to blame. I will buy a NEW BIGGER TRUCK. This truck is perfect and wonderful!"

"I’ll get THIS person to be my new lover. They are perfect and wonderful. They will meet all my needs. They will love me the way I deserve and need to be loved. They will know what I want before I even have to say it. OH NO! The new shiny lover didn’t read my mind! They didn’t meet all my needs! They didn’t give me everything I wanted before I even had to ask! They are stupid and bad! They are to blame! They deserve all the punishment I give them for refusing to be perfect! I will find a NEW BETTER LOVER! They are perfect and wonderful!"

"I’ll join THIS group of wonderful people! They are amazing and interesting. They recognize how amazing and interesting I am! Surely they will elevate me to a position of leadership, which I’ve always deserved to have. Oh, wait, some people in this group are disagreeing with me! This group is a TERRIBLE bunch of people! They are all drama-queens and backstabbers! I hate this group! I’m going to join a NEW group! These folks GET me! They’re awesome!"

"I’ll get THIS person to be my new best friend. They are perfect and wonderful. They understand me like no one ever has! They love me the way I deserve to be loved…"

you get the idea?

If you stand around waiting to watch the karma-bus hit these folks, you’re going to be waiting and watching for a very long time and ultimately it will not be satisfying because there’s never a lesson learned. Like a cartoon character falling off a cliff or being squashed flat by a rock, they just jump back up and go back to whatever awful thing they were doing. This behavior also applies to sex, drugs, food, and any other compulsive self-destructive behavior. It can send them to the hospital, and they’ll just go home and either go back to the same thing, or find a new thing that’s just as bad or worse.

The narcissist NEVER GETS IT. They never understand that they are the common element in all of the failures and losses of their miserable drama-filled lives. Yes, you can (and will) see them whine, cry, throw temper tantrums, disown lovers, friends and family multiple times for as long as the friends and family stay hooked in to the narcissistic cycle, or for as long as they can find new sources of supply. The narcissist’s pain and misery is real, but it is also short lived and superficial.

Their core, original narcissistic wound of being brain damaged or deeply traumatized in childhood, being fundamentally flawed, and incapable of the fullness of humanity will never change and it will never be able to be healed.

People who feel vengeful and want them to ‘learn their lesson’ as a way of receiving punishment may enjoy watching them fall on their faces time and again, but people who want them to ‘learn their lesson’ in the sense that a person should be able learn from their mistakes and grow as humans will ultimately be frustrated in waiting for that to happen.

And anyone with a scrap of human kindness or compassion can’t help but feel terribly sorry for these miserable beings, who are so deeply flawed and so terribly incompetent at being human. It isn’t their fault but they can’t be fixed and they are very toxic to themselves and everyone around them.

If you can finally bring yourself to feel compassion, please do it from a distance and take care of your own mental and physical health as a priority rather than pouring any more energy down the black hole of the narcissist’s existence.

Footnotes

[1]

The Cycle of Abuse - Green Haven 4 Help

[2]

Idealize, Devalue, Discard: The Dizzying Cycle of Narcissism - GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog

[3]

Albert Einstein: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Professor Buzzkill

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