Jul. 31st, 2021

evile: (mask)

I don’t know if messing with a vehicle is part of every narcissist’s playbook but basically it would be just one more way to insult, harm, or scare their target. An abusive narcissist domestic partner might sabotage a vehicle if they thought you were finally going to leave them. No car? Can’t leave! So that’s another possibility—control. Vehicles, at least in America, represent freedom and autonomy. As long as you have a car you can go anywhere, including leaving a narcissist for good. So it’s probably a very symbolic act of the narcissist, trying to curtail your freedom.

Narcissists are bullies, but they are also cowards. Abusing or confronting you physically might result in you fighting back, physically hurting them or  even maybe defeating them in a physical altercation. So messing with your possessions when you aren't around is a better way for the coward to harm you without risking retaliation or injury to themselves.  It also makes them feel powerful and in control when they can do nasty stuff to someone without anyone catching them in the act. They love to get away with stuff!

As an example, I had a coworker who was the leader/instigator of the workplace ‘mob
[1] against me who (I’m pretty sure) smeared chewed gum all over the side of my car while it was parked in an underground, secure workplace parking garage. When I brought it up in a mediation after things had escalated and management and HR had to get involved, she acted like I was stupid and crazy for accusing her of doing that. But, come on, who else could it have been? The gum was smeared all over the side of the car nearest to the wall of the parking garage, and there was nothing else in that corner, so someone would have had to very deliberately go to that side of my car to do that, and then the only person that would see it was me when I went to get in and go home at the end of the day. It wasn’t on my car when I arrived that morning, and it was on my car when I left at the end of the day. So it wasn’t an accident and no one else at that office was that malicious, ridiculous and petty except for miss crabby crazypants.

If this sort of thing is happening at a workplace, it's time to find a new job. If you get to a point in your relationship where you feel that a person you ought to care about and trust is actually doing something that may harm you (cutting brake lines, putting sugar in your tank, etc.) it is long past time to leave that relationship! 

Footnotes

[1] 
 
Mobbing - Wikipedia  

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