Apr. 30th, 2020

evile: (mask)
Does my narcissist brother truly believe that he is better than me? I am much better and happier than him. Does he know this?
 

Narcissists are very good at lying, even and especially to themselves. He may notice that you are happy and healthy and living a good life, but his hatred and envy will not allow him to acknowledge that 1) yes, you are truly happy and 2) yes, you DESERVE the happy life you have made for yourself.

He will tell himself (and others) that you are the narcissist, you are jealous of him, and that your happy life is just a big show you are putting on in order to attack and humiliate him.

He will tell himself (and others) that you don’t deserve your happiness, your success, the loving relationships and respectful friendships you have made for yourself.

He will tell himself (and others) that HE is actually the person who deserves the happiness and the success and the kind, loving, respectful friendships and feel bitter and hateful towards anyone he sees who is enjoying ‘undeserved’ happiness.

He will do and say whatever he can, to you and to anyone else who will listen, to demean, dismiss, and tear down your happiness. You only got where you got in your career because someone did you a favor or feels sorry for you. Your spouse or lover is being tricked by you, or is using you.

In the narcissist’s eyes, you are the liar, you are the fraud, you are the big fat effing loser, because he cannot stand to look in the mirror and see that all the crappy things he says about YOU are actually true about HIMSELF.

Please don’t spend too much time or energy worrying what the narcissist thinks, feels, or wants. If you truly have a happy life, then surely you have many good and decent relationships that are a better use of your energy & time.


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Editing to add:  Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com.  They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here. 

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