![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
More from _Feeling Good Together_
Nov. 14th, 2009 04:48 pmStroking is the fifth secret of effective communication. Stroking means that you express positive regard for the other person, no matter how upset you feel.
Stroking is mandatory. You can't put people down and expect them to love you in return.
Stroking is based on the work of the twentieth-century theologian Martin Buber, who described two types of relationships: "I--It" relationship and "I--Thou" relationships. In an "I--It" relationship, you view the other person as an object, an "It" to be manipulated. You treat him like the enemy, and your goal is to attack, defeat, or exploit him. For example, some men view attractive women as sex objects to use and discard. One-night stands are good examples of "I--It" relationships. Con artists and predators view people as objects to hurt and exploit. Those are "I--It" relationships, too. ( Read more... )
Stroking is mandatory. You can't put people down and expect them to love you in return.
Stroking is based on the work of the twentieth-century theologian Martin Buber, who described two types of relationships: "I--It" relationship and "I--Thou" relationships. In an "I--It" relationship, you view the other person as an object, an "It" to be manipulated. You treat him like the enemy, and your goal is to attack, defeat, or exploit him. For example, some men view attractive women as sex objects to use and discard. One-night stands are good examples of "I--It" relationships. Con artists and predators view people as objects to hurt and exploit. Those are "I--It" relationships, too. ( Read more... )
