3646Tuesday

 

 

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Oct. 12, 2005

 

 

I went to dinner at L&B's last night and then skating with [Cousin B], we
skated an hour and then he felt a blister coming on so we went to
Taco Cabana & got me a beer and him a little snack (jeezus, 17 year
old boys eat a LOT!) and then back to L&B's where [uncle B]'s brother Jim
is visiting, so the men were watching a baseball game on the living
room TV and [aunt L] was watching 'nip tuck' in the bedroom on the big
TV. [Cousin B] and I watched the comedy channel for a while in his room. I
am really not a fan of TV, it seems very icky to me to have a TV in
practically every room of the house and have families holing up in
various rooms to watch various things. Very non-functional, IMHO.

Speaking of non-functional, I mentioned, again, that [Cousin B] probably
needs some therapy to get through his anger and hurt at being thrown
away by his parents. [aunt L] gave me the green light to ask around and
see if I can find a therapist who takes her insurance and will be a
good fit for [Cousin B]. It seems wierd to me that [uncle B] is a shrink, and [aunt L]
majored in it, and neither of them seem to be willing to face the
fact that [Cousin B] may be fucked up in some significant ways due to his
lousy upbringing/shitty parents. Yes, it's great that we're healthy
and show him sane ways of relating to one another and love him and
spend time with him, BUT there's 17 years of crap that still needs to
be undone.

3649today's ICQ

 

 

Kahlua: Bye!
evile: Oh, I have an hour to go and still need to get 11 thingies
entered so I had to close out a few distractions
Kahlua: We're a distraction? :)
evile: just a little.
evile: Mostly clicking over to see what's new, compulsively, because
unlike iCQ it doesn't blink or anything when new stuff happens in my
TIM telnet window.
Kahlua: Ah, true
evile: I'm almost done :)
evile: ooopsie, pissed off my SIL
Kahlua: Awwwww, that's a shame
Kahlua: UNless she charges, of course.
Kahlua: OLE!
Kahlua: OK, that was mean.
Kahlua: Sorry.
evile: heehee :)
Kahlua: What did you do?
evile: her tarot post last night was amazingly timed so as to almost
be a response to a friends locked post by her ex bf. I pointed out
the coincidence and rather than praise her psychic abilities, I
congratulated her on her effective spy.
Kahlua: Bwahaha
Kahlua: I see your minions are both wide-ranging and accurate in
their spying!
evile: heehee :)
evile: Hopefully he's got the isp tracker up on his LJ so he will at
least know this time that it wasn't me. I want no part of that
nonsense. He has me listed as a friend, so I can read his friends-
only posts, but I don't list him as my friend, and I don't read his
LJ very often at all. Unless she posts something very pointed and
obviously in response to him, and hten I have to go look at the
trainwreck.
evile: Next on Springer: "When Poly Goes Very Very Very WRONG"
Kahlua: LOL
Kahlua: You'd THINK, with all the partners to choose from, that you
could find SOME WAY to be happy without issues.
Kahlua: Man, I'd be happy as a pig in shit. :)
Kahlua: People FIND ways to make things difficult
evile: Well, there's poly, and then theres flat out cuckolding &
emasculating and sticking a fancy label on it.
Kahlua: Yeah, well, I meant if I was doing Poly, not cheating on my
wife. :)
evile: And anyone who says "I am poly and bi and I can do whatever I
want and it's none of my husband's business, but if my husband or
lover take a lover, that's cheating"....I really don't see that as a
viable form of poly.
Kahlua: Yeah, no kidding.
Kahlua: What's good for the goose. after all... :)
evile: mystifies me that anybody would put up with that obvious and
insane of a double standard.
Kahlua: "You have to trust me, but I don't trust you, you cheating no-
good bastard."
evile: hehee :)
evile: pretty much. It disgusts me beyond belief.
evile: I'm kind of still stuck with the 'don't ask don't tell' school
of poly, which isn't that healthy either. He can do what he wants, as
long as he stays safe and doesn't do it in our bed, and I don't want
to meet her/them.
Kahlua: That's not so much poly as Open Marriage, which isn't the
same to me
evile: *nod*
evile: the way I look at it, poly is an umbrella term, sort of
like 'christian'..and then swinging, open marriage, poly-fi, etc. are
little 'sub sects'
Kahlua: That works.
evile: I still haven't taken Sweetie up on his 'be safe and take
pictures'...its like, since it's OK to 'cheat', I don't want to. :P
Kahlua: Awww!
Kahlua: We're all losing out!
Kahlua: :P
evile: aww :P

Kahlua: I understand, it's not as fun when you have permission,
right? :)
evile: yup. isn't that silly?
Kahlua: No, it seems like a pretty common human trait :)
evile: yup.
Kahlua: Well, do let us know if you get over the lack of interest.
Enquiring minds want to know. LOL
evile: thanks :)
evile: time for me to vamoose. *hugs*
Kahlua: Bye!

3649today's ICQ - kahlua & skye_ds (yucky stuff)

Oct. 12, 2005

 

evile: hi :)
evile: I love phone duty days like today.

SkyeDS: :D
evile: lots of easy calls, nice people, went very fast, get to leave
at 3:30!
SkyeDS: can't beat dat wit a stick
evile: yup
evile: interesting link in your LJ...*shrug* some/most women are
bitches. Fat is just an easy target. If it wasn't fat, they'd find
some other trait to pick on.
SkyeDS: I liked it
SkyeDS: and the woman w ho wrote it is beautiful, at least in her icon
SkyeDS: if she's carrying weight, you can't see it in her face - not
like you can in mine
evile: it's a well-done photograph
evile: this one isn't as flattering.
http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/29704816/1631136
SkyeDS: wow...hadn't seen that one
evile: neat LJ feature, lets you look at all the user icon pics
people have uploaded
SkyeDS: never occurred to me to look
evile: http://www.livejournal.com/allpics.bml?user=[user name]
This is why I don't use any actual photos of me as icons. :P
evile: My cardio has markedly improved since I've started going to
skate night & such on a regular basis. No physical change, but I feel
lots better.
SkyeDS: that's important
evile: yup :)
evile: I may be getting the beginning of The Line, but it's not that
noticable , so I am not counting it yet.
evile: *sigh* Ebay is tempting me. dammit.
http://we3bellydance.net/9_11/300SV_WCfallCopper.jpg
SkyeDS: I've gotten good stuff from them many times
evile: those are such great colors...*sigh*
SkyeDS: indeed!
evile: Oh well. Eventually...someday....
SkyeDS: I like their black and purple watercolor silk choli
SkyeDS: but they haven't had any in stock for the longest time
evile: definitely your colors.
SkyeDS: ok, I'm backing aWAY from the Ebay now
evile: *nod* me too.
evile: I'm just thinking of Extravagasm and the next trip to Faire &
wanting to shop!
SkyeDS: I have come to the conclusion that if I'm not careful, I am
an ebay addict
evile: it's pretty easy to do.
evile: You've got a spy in the Kaleon camp, eh?
evile: Bryce's latest LJ post summed it up pretty well for me:
http://www.partiallyclips.com/storage/20050929_GuysAtBar_lg.png
SkyeDS: huh?
SkyeDS: you give me too much credit
evile: OK
SkyeDS: what made you think I had a spy in the kaleon camp
evile: the timing on your tarot post.
SkyeDS: I do readings all the time, I just usually don't make them
public
SkyeDS: and that reading wasn't about kaleon, although I would surmise
it must apply
evile: *nod*
evile: Well, since you said it wasn't a reading for you, and the tone
was a little hostile, I figured it might be him.
SkyeDS: speaking of -
SkyeDS: sineater is a little put out with Chris Loy - again
evile: why???
SkyeDS: turns out she and kaleon were conspiring the entire time she
was trying to court him away from me
evile: wtf.
SkyeDS: and why s he thinks he wouldn't know that, when they made it
obvious in journals
SkyeDS: /me shrugs
evile: ancient history. sineater must really be bored to be searching so
hard for something/somebody to fight.
SkyeDS: he does that from t ime to time
evile: I guess I'd better lie low,then, in case he wants to be pissed
at me for something I did years ago, too.
SkyeDS: people get aggravated sometimes the most by traits they
themselves have
SkyeDS: he is not the most honest person in t he world
SkyeDS: and he gets really, I mean really mad, when he thinks he's
been lied to
evile: What a waste of energy.
SkyeDS: well yeah. besides, he's got her on ignore, so that's that.
evile: that's what I'd think. But if he wants to go dredging thru old
LJ posts and getting himself in a tizz, that's his business.
evile: sineater can never be too happy or too comfortable, can he? poor
thing...it's like he feels like he doesn't deserve it and has to find
something to hurt himself over.
SkyeDS: that tends to be the case with Scorpios.
SkyeDS: when things go too well for too long they start looking for
the little red button that says do not push
SkyeDS: (the self destruct button)
evile: I love him dearly...but it's things like that that have
created distance.
evile: I don't care to be jumped on and mangled for things that are
pretty much out of sight, out of mind, ancient history to me but
still fresh hurts in someone else's mind.
SkyeDS: well, all I can do is give him the advice I myself would take
SkyeDS: which is usually the last thing he would ever do
SkyeDS: for example
SkyeDS: when he notices that all these trouble makers seem to use you
as a hub
SkyeDS: I point out, correlations are not necessarily scientifically
significant
SkyeDS: ergo, maybe he should *talk* to you about it
SkyeDS: heaven forbid
evile: *shrug* If he wants to blame me for his unhappy self, that's
probably easier for him than dealing with the things that are
actually making him unhappy. I love him enough to let him use me that
way.
SkyeDS: that may be. but it bugs me.
SkyeDS: because I have to listen to it for one thing
evile: I also put up with people longer than I should (chrisloy,
kaleon, kili, nikiyoy, etc)
evile: And I also don't mince too many words when people ask me
directly what I think. Which always always always bites me in the
butt, but what can I do? I don't lie.
evile: At best these days, I never volunteer an opinion. That seems
to take care of 90% of that.
evile: People vent, I nod and smile and don't say anything unless
they ask me flat out.
evile: If troublemakers want to take me being a sympathetic ear as me
agreeing with them, that's their business, I suppose.
SkyeDS: all I want is for him to consider that there is more than one
plausible explanation for any given event
evile: If someone wants to interpret me saying "I'm sorry you are
feeling bad" as "boy, that sineater really is a rat bastard and that Skye
is a bitch on wheels" and sineater would rather listen to that
interpretation...well, OK then.
SkyeDS: eg, what you just related is a perfectly plausible explanation
SkyeDS: just as much as other plausible explanations
evile: If sineater would rather be unhappy and at odds with people who
love him, that's his choice and he's an adult and nobody can force
him into more healthful patterns.
SkyeDS: I tell him he's being paranoid, I try to reason with him
once, then I let it go and hope (like teeth and friends) that if it
is ignored it will go away
evile: yup
SkyeDS: there is usually enough trouble today without borrowing from
tomorrow (looking for more)
evile: yup
evile: Let alone digging up molderng corpses to abuse
evile: but ya know...if he's never going to forgive or forget, what's
the point of trying to forge anything new and better. Trust is
permanently broken and gone if people refuse to let the past go and
allow for the possibility of forgiveness and growth.
SkyeDS: I'm not sure it's gone that far, I just think it's temporary
paranoia, usually it goes away
evile: I love him, beyond words, would kill or die for him, but
I'mnot going to keep showing up and letting him kick the crap out of
me because he needs something to be mad at.
SkyeDS: this all came up again right after his last visit to the
shrink
SkyeDS: that may be an empty correlation, but it might not be
evile: I am here if he needs me, and I hope he knows this, but for my
own sanity and happiness, I can't keep rehashing old BS and letting
people knock me around for past mistakes.
SkyeDS: I know they've been examining what he attracts and why he is
attracted to it
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I think he knows better
SkyeDS: which is maybe why he doesn't talk to you aboutit
SkyeDS: he feels guilty (as he ought to)
evile: well, there's talking, and then there's beating up.
SkyeDS: and that all t he trash he attracts moves towards you when he
throws the trash out
SkyeDS: maybe I should point out to him that from your point of view,
that would all be his fault
evile: *shrug*
SkyeDS: he attracts trash, throws it out, leaves you to deal with it
SkyeDS: that wouldn't be very just of you to think of him
SkyeDS: (shoe on t he other foot)
SkyeDS: although shoe on the other foot tactic doesn't always work
with him
evile: nope
evile: well, I had phone duty so I get to leave now.
SkyeDS: wind to your wings :D
evile: Have a safe evening.