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Aug. 24, 2005
Posted in LJ for my gals, sineater, and ben:
So, Mom went to San Antonio yesterday and signed over her car title
to my brother A. who could then not even be bothered to drive her
back to Austin for her troubles.
The Pig gave Mom all the paperwork to read, regarding A's allegations
of abuse and whatnot. Apparently our mother was too busy doing drugs
and having orgies during our childhood to feed, clothe, or care for
us. Funny...I kind of remember her working for a living and feeding &
clothing us just fine. I remember regular bed times and homework and
lectures about grades. I remember birthday parties with homemade
cakes and pinyatas and Mom painting our faces as clowns and animals.
I don't remember any drugs or orgies or widespread neglect. Wierd how
that works, eh?
Mom was devastated, of course. How could you not be, when your child
is sitting there telling you what a terrible mother you are, and bla
bla bla? But it's all that sick bitch and her projecting her own
issues onto A. and our family, and oh, incidentally, making damn
fucking sure we NEVER get access to A's child.
Mom wanted to show me pictures of the kids that she took this past
weekend. I had to say 'no' like 4 times, pretty firmly. What's the
damn point?
I told her I didn't ever want to see the baby, or think about it,
because it just makes me too sick and sad. She said "What if I got
custody of her, would you want to have anything to do with her then?"
My eyes just filled up & my heart broke just a little bit more...I
told her not to talk about it anymore, because I couldn't take it.
She was so sad and angry, too...but I just can't DO this.
That's my neice...that I NEVER will meet, or never have a
relationship with...because I can't give that sick fucking evil bitch
that kind of power over me. I will NEVER get into another situation
where some goddamned tapeworm of a human being uses my love for a
child against me. I will kill her, the baby, and/or myself first
before I let myself hurt that much EVER again.
X fucked me up way more than I really want to think about. I am so
mad at my brother A for being so spineless and weak-minded and
letting the pig brainwash him like that. I am so fucking sad.
But nobody will EVER see me cry over this.
Fuck 'em all.
==========
Mom also mentioned that [rubber pig] told her she didn't like me, was being
all coy and dancing around about it,and then finally came out and
said "oh, I guess I just don't like her very much" and Mom
said "Well, she doesn't like you, either" which apparently shut [rubber pig]
up for a good minute. Now, what the fuck was the point of that??? I
do know the urge to say something so shocking, so cutting that it
stops the spew of sewage from the psycho-mouth and Yes, I've done
it...but for me it was always something more along the lines of
finally letting go and telling someone exactly what *I* think of
them, not some kind of 'siccing' someone on someone else. It's just
not productive to sow any more discord between me and [rubber pig]. And
because I got out of the drama so early, I may be someone that [brother A]
feels like he can come to later, since I'm not completely wrung out
and tapped out. *sigh* But I guess not, if the pig knows I don't like
her. I mean, yeah, it's obvious, but ...yeah. Oh well. I think Skye
was right in her statement, something like 'the next time we see him,
it will be in his grave'...I think that's entirely too possible. And
what's sad is that I'm so mad at him right now for hurting Mom, [dad],
[Aunt L], [Uncle B], and you so much...I am not sure if I could actually be sad
to see him go.
