evile: busy day today?
SkyeDS: took boss to pick up daughter's car and he took me to lunch
and I forgot to set myself away, sorry
SkyeDS: today is admin asst day...not to be confused with secretary's
day.
evile: nice lunch?
SkyeDS: marimont cafeteria, good food, very pleasant company :)
evile: *nod* sounds like.
evile: Today is D's birthday, I just checked Amazon.com and the stuff
I ordered for her back at the beginning of April is not going to be
shipped until May 6!! aaa.
SkyeDS: :|
evile: Oh well... new holiday: happy 'random stuff from Amazon' day
SkyeDS: LOL
evile: I will just have to remember to load up my photos from the
Weenie Races tonight, and that'll be her interim present.
evile: "pictures to make you smile until you get your loot!"
SkyeDS: you could send her an ecard too, with a poem or lyrics
evile: *nod*
evile: I don't know how she's hooked up these days, so I dont want to
send anything that will bog down her system.
evile: I did send her email, so that's probably good.
SkyeDS: :)
evile: She's going to be here from Mid June until beginning of
August; I'm really looking forward to seeing her, seeing Josephine &
Lyle and the new baby & their doggie :)
SkyeDS: I'm going by BG's fighter practice to get the leathers and
stirrups for my new saddle :)
SkyeDS: Sir G sounded a little surprised to hear me ask for Dr.
Gulick please?
SkyeDS: the man has a PhD in Geophysics, what else would I call him
(mundanely)
SkyeDS: did you say that yo u had commented on CL's "why do some
people think it's all about them?" I don't see a comment from you,
unless it isn't from "you"
evile: Nope, I'm the first one.
SkyeDS: dragondoodle?
evile: nope. bramblekite.
SkyeDS: first one = dragondoodle
evile: http://www.livejournal.com/users/chrisloy/183123.html?
thread=575059#t575059
SkyeDS: screened post
SkyeDS: what does that mean
evile: oh, how funny. She must have not deemed it worthy of sharing
with the class.
SkyeDS: what did you say?
evile: that's so ridiculous!
bramblekite
2005-04-24 17:56 (link)
how can it be all about THEM, when everyone knows it's all about mE!
:P
*hugs to you* This too shall pass!
SkyeDS: wtf
evile: I just cut and pasted verbatim 'that's so ridiculous' was my
subject line
evile: some people set up their LJ so that comments aren't posted
automatically, the LJ owner gets to screen them and decide if they
want them posted.
SkyeDS: I like my way better. Only fluff (quizzes etc) is public, I
don't have to screen squat.
evile: *nod*
evile: ooh, I got greatsword. Whatever that means. doublepithing with
a hatpin wasn't an option, I guess.
SkyeDS: I used to fight with a double bastard axe when we were still
amtgard. I don't know if any of the cavalry weapons was an option.
evile: *shrug* I'm sure those quizzes are terribly scientific & all.
SkyeDS: maybe James would let her have Kaleon. That would be an ideal
fit all around X-P
evile: I think James wants a female HBB, and I think Kaleon's
straight,anyway.
SkyeDS: that's all James wants, and that isn't exactly what most of
us consider poly but ymmv
evile: But if that job in Denton materialized for her, that's pretty
close to OK, so you never know.
SkyeDS: both Sineater and sonar0m are straight
evile: I don't think James would be receptive to a situation in which
his wife was getting some from a 3rd party, and he wasn't.
SkyeDS: zactly
evile: so if they did a V, it would be him at the bottom of the v
SkyeDS: yep
evile: Oh well. Compassionate Avoidance.
SkyeDS: practice it long enough but keep them within your visual
periphery and you'll notice that their karmas are almost instant due
to their constantly adding hot water.
evile: *nod* I tried very gently to dissuade her from writing such
thinly veiled stuff in her LJ about whatever, approaching it from
a "if Sineater is your friend, as you say, then you know he's a private
person and he does nto want his business all over the internet"
SkyeDS: she's not the sharpest tool in the shed.
evile: Which led her to trying to get me into a 'talk shit about
[Skye_ds]' fest....which I told her it may be enjoyable but it's
ultimately unproductive.
SkyeDS: <shrug> as if I care, I am well aware that talk shit fests
occur frequently, they aren't just about me, they occur about the
both of you and others too, so it's nothing personal
evile: tried to suggest that she had better, more positive ways to
spend her energy, but that kind of led to her deciding not to confide
in me anymore. That works for me.
SkyeDS: lol. she's all show and no substance. like a great many
others out there.
SkyeDS: an idiot on the stage full of sound and fury signifying
nothing
evile: If she really cared about Sineater she would not spend so much of
her energy attacking you or speaking badly of you to others...because
that hurts Sineater's feelings.
SkyeDS: and insults him personally, deeply
evile: or at least puts him in a bad place.
SkyeDS: which really, REALLY pisses him off. you may have noticed.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: he really gets really mad when people imply even if they
don't realize that they are and don't mean to be, that he's weak,
stupid, etc
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and lord/lady knows that he has a support system if he needed
one for whatever reason.
SkyeDS: (as do I)
evile: yup
SkyeDS: if CL & Kaleon don't know about [brother A] & [rubber pig], they probably think all your
concern about abuse has to do with Sineater.
SkyeDS: like blind men trying to quantify an elephant just from one
body part
evile: If I thought she was acting out of any genuine caring for
Sineater, I might be more sympathetic, but all I get from her is that
she's a drama junkie and will make shit up if she can't find some to
get into.
evile: so why trust her with my thoughts and feelings, they'll just
get used against me when she's bored one fine day.
SkyeDS: she and Robin both are highly dysfunctional, and they want
Sineater to be dysfunctional with them, and he doesn't want to be.
SkyeDS: they don't listen to a word he says that isn't what they want
to hear, so they say it comes from me. what.ev.er.
evile: I don't think she's necessarily a bad person, but I dont'
trust her, so I prefer to minimize contact.
SkyeDS: well, it could be extrapolated that she behaves in similar
fashion to Kaleon, and we all know where that led.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: if she cared for Sineater genuinely she would *listen* to him
evile: yup
SkyeDS: the last conversation t hey had, he told her that he
disagreed with her. She believes that NRE will fix problems within a
poly marriage, and he said, as most others say, otherwise
SkyeDS: she didn't like that, so obviously, he is so weak and so
stupid all he can do is parrot me.
evile: that's too bad.
SkyeDS: her veils are rather thin, she made it too obvious to him
that what she really meant was NRE with *her* would fix his problems
with me
SkyeDS: nevermind that James has already said no, quite vehemently
evile: yuck
SkyeDS: Get Over It. If you don't like what you've got, get what you
like, and move on already. Have some pride and stop being pitiful
rejects already, jesus h fucking christ.
evile: I'm sure that growing up as he did, Sineater could stand to see
more healthy loving relationships modeled for him...but NRE or poly
is not really the way to experience that objectively and be able to
apply it to his own marriage.
SkyeDS: CL isn't going to model healthy loving anything for anyone,
you can't teach someone to do something you haven't mastered yo
urself.
evile: *nod* exactly.
evile: he should hang with people like [aunt L] & [Uncle B], who've been
married 35 years
SkyeDS: he opened up and shared with her things he hasn't opened up
and shared with anyone else and then she shot her mouth off and
proved that she didn't listen to a word he said and lives in a
completely alternate, not even parallel universe, and that hurt him
deeply.
evile: that sucks.
SkyeDS: for Sineater it damn well does, yes.
evile: yup
SkyeDS: the only time she or Robin bother with him is to use him as
an emotional dildo. They've both proven that they aren't even
reliable reciprocally as emotional dildos themselves, and he doesn't
take that very well, surprise surprise surprise.
SkyeDS: he isn't strong enough to decide that he doesn't like being
used if the use isn't mutually agreed upon, so that must be me.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I don't think people realize they're insulting him when
they're aiming at me.
SkyeDS: But it's about the quickest way to cut yourself out of his
existence completely.
evile: Personally, I have discovered I have a limited amount of
patience with people who continually shoot themselves in the foot and
then want to come whining to me that their foot hurts.
SkyeDS: and it has nothing to do with his being protective of me
SkyeDS: because he doesn't protect me, it isn't me at all, it's
personal insult. He couldn't care less if people attacked me.
SkyeDS: assuming they could attack me without insulting him in the
process, that is.
evile: I don't really get that at all, but if you say so, Ok.
SkyeDS: it is changing, slowly, but that's the way it was, for the
first decade or so.
evile: well it looked pretty differnet from teh outside, that's all.
SkyeDS: nodnod, I know. It's very frustrating, both from inside and
from out, that the book is nothing like its covers.
evile: I'm sure.
SkyeDS: from outside, all you see is his reaction. you don't know
why he's reacting that way.
SkyeDS: an assumption that he's reacting that way in defense of me is
a reasonable conclusion to come to, but incorrect.
SkyeDS: he's reacting that way to deep personal insult to himself.
SkyeDS: which I have actually heard him say many times but it doesn't
seem like anyone ever hears it when he says it (which aggravates him
to no end)
evile: I don't know why you put up with him. I don't know why he puts
up with you...but then I see a lot of behavior long term
relationships that I would not put up with for a second, that seems
to be acceptable to the people involved.
SkyeDS: ditto
SkyeDS: while we were on the trail this teenage girl was getting
after her horse with a wicked looking pair of spurs and in general
doing everything wrong she could find to do wrong
SkyeDS: sonar0m kept asking me if I saw it, and I kept saying, yes I
see it, yes I hate it, I'm not deaf, I'm trying to ignore it, because
it isn't my problem and I have no power to solve it, so best not to
have my blood pressure up over it.
evile: *nod*
evile: Compassionate Avoidance.
SkyeDS: something attention whores are never, ever going to get.
evile: nope
evile: Oh, boy. Chrisloy's latest LJ entry is just all kinds o drama
mongering...I just want to say "why is this any of your business!??!"
SkyeDS: nodnods
evile: Major case of 'little miss fix-it syndrome'... admittedly,
I've been tehre, done that, but hopefully not ever this bad...
SkyeDS: Kaleon used to call me that
SkyeDS: although I never tried to fix something that wasn't brought
to me (I never seek out things to fix, I usually have more to fix
than I can fix anyway)
SkyeDS: the answer to this is, from the standpoint of my faith,
inherent in teh definition of love
SkyeDS: you love whom you love
SkyeDS: whether or not they love you back
SkyeDS: you do things for them to make them happy
SkyeDS: it isn't a contract, you don't expect them to give back and
do the same
SkyeDS: X can either handle that, or not.
evile: X needs to get a life and quit sniffing Y's panties after they
get home from their dates with Q.
evile: looks like others are sharing the opinion that X needs to move
on & quit angsting, and perhaps obliquely stating that CL herself
could also use a nice dose of 'get over it' herownself.
SkyeDS: she isn't very perceptive
SkyeDS: like most Sensitives, she is uberSensitive when it comes to
herself and uberInsensitive to everybody else.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but she does a damn good job of form over function, and so
she comes across as so much more compassionate and whatever else than
I do. *shrug*
evile: Spend enough time, the front comes off pretty quick. ytima has
met her RL maybe twice and it seems that she's already getting tired
of the drama.
SkyeDS: most people prefer veneers to whatever's beneath
SkyeDS: or seem to by their outward actions anyway
evile: if you can't keep up a good front, don't bother having a
front, is my not so humble opinion.
SkyeDS: I want to hold on to the good that Kaleon brought to my life
for three years, but I have to admit that the last four make me
wonder if the whole thing wasn't a front and an illusion.
evile: people grow & change, unfortunately sometimes not in teh same
directions. Perhaps he just grew & changed into a nasty weed, from
the sweet little college boy seed he was when you first got him :P
SkyeDS: I hope so. I don't want to think I could be that deceived
for that long. Although masks are a lot more effective from long
distances.
evile: *nod*
evile: ack. Too much going on this weekend. I hate that!!
SkyeDS: I noticed that too. But then I don't plan on doing squat
until parentals leave Sat anyway
evile: *nod*
evile: eeyore's, pecan st, party at Jenni's, movie at Meg's, and at
least 1 or 2 more things I can't think of off the top of my head...
evile: and hten Sunday is Sweetie's friends' wedding.
SkyeDS: lot of things close to home fer me
evile: *nod*
evile: you've been out of town the past several weekends, might be
nice to spend one closer to home.
SkyeDS: was very nice this last weekend to be 30 miles from the
ranch, and spend the night in my own bed
evile: *nod* I bet.
evile: I like to travel, but my favorite thing about traveling is
coming home.
SkyeDS: Joanie thought, for I don't know what reason, that I can take
3 day weekends where Sineater can't. wth...sigh.
evile: recently? wierd.
evile: he just started a new job; and you work half days friday, so
that's not completely wrong.
SkyeDS: not entirely no. but that doesn't mean that I'm going to
take a three day weekend and go t o Houston by myself.
evile: to see her? WHY would she even want you to?
SkyeDS: Since Sineater is working, I wonder if you might ever have time
and desire to come see me and go through some things to talk and
maybe you would want some? I know that you are busy too but maybe
sometime.
SkyeDS: (rather convoluted, I'm not quite sure I can unravel it all)
evile: hm. that's pretty odd.
SkyeDS: I think she's referring to cleaning out closet space and
giving things away
evile: *shrug* who knows, with her. even assuming you had 3 weekend
days that weren't already spoken for, I can't imagine you'd want to
spend them with her.
SkyeDS: not alone, no.
evile: She crazy.
SkyeDS: she's lonely.
evile: well, that is too bad. but not your problem, or your
responsibility.
SkyeDS: I told her we'd be back out at Camp Camwood in Magnolia (half
an hour from Hou) next month
evile: *nod*
evile: it would be a kind gesture to make time for a meal with her.
SkyeDS: nods. Although Sineater isn't too keen on driving to Houston
which is in the opposite direction of home to eat.
SkyeDS: I think his favorite part of eventing is going home.
evile: *shrug* well, Rockdale wasn't really on my way home from
Houston, but I took him there after we visited Nana; these are the
things you do for family.
SkyeDS: nods.
SkyeDS: of course, whatever he tells me no doubt is not his real
reason, he doesn't work that way.
SkyeDS: he's like, an onion.
SkyeDS: he has layers.
evile: yup
SkyeDS: I could dig a little and see why it is that he doesn't want
to go out of his way for his mom. I've been down that road before,
but I don't mind going down it again.
evile: It would be nice if Sineater had a closer relationship to his
parents; but nobody can force that, it's gotta be his choice.
evile: well, it's go time for me. I'll talk at ya later. Have a good
evening!
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