evile: Happy Monday :P
SkyeDS: lol 2 u 2.
evile: How was your weekend?
SkyeDS: perfectly lovely, yours?
evile: Mostly quiet. But I got stuff done. And the after-munch GWNN
party was really nice.
SkyeDS: :) we rode over half a dozen very nicely decorated streets
(with the girls lit) on Saturday and went to the park on Sunday
evile: sounds like fun :)
SkyeDS: it was lovely.
evile: I thought about going to drandmir, but I had intended on
seeing AManda's play at 3, so that kind of messed up my timing for
Sunday.
SkyeDS: you didn't miss anything
evile: I haven't been out in ages, would have been nice to say 'hi'
to folks.
SkyeDS: I still have to make arrangements for Txka. And I have house
guests coming for NY, and we are going to an event in the Valley (god
help us) the second weekend in Jan.
evile: wow!
evile: You would have loved the party location on Saturday--huge
Victorian farmhouse out on what looked like several hundred acres
near where you used to board Mirage. Very nice land, beautiful home
SkyeDS: nods. I want to build victorian.
evile: Supposedly there were horses on the property, but the party
rules said not to mess with them. I didn't see them--it was VERY dark
out there!
SkyeDS: it has been a concern of mine too, when considering having
events at the ranch.
SkyeDS: particularly if I end up boarding.
SkyeDS: other people
evile: yup. It is definitely a concern. But the GWNN folks are very
respectful of party rules.
evile: the guy of the couple hosts the 'toymaker' group, so I may go
out there in daylight some day. Assuming I'd even be welcome after
being so rude t o him at the munch.
SkyeDS: tis good :)
SkyeDS: I wish I could say the same of HFS, or pagan groups or
whatever, but I"m not so sure
SkyeDS: plead temporary insanity, say you're sorry. (assuming you
mean it, of course)
evile: Yeah...and you'd hate to have to ask people to leave because
they were being a danger to themselves or the animals...but I suppose
it must be done, at times.
evile: Well...I'm not sure if I'm sorry, but I could apologize for
the miscommunication. However, it still stands that if someone who
isn't Sweetie tries to spank me, they WILL be pulling back stumps.
SkyeDS: oh
SkyeDS: I didn't know what happened
SkyeDS: I"m sure you can find some element of what happened to
apologize for honestly, no point in apologizing for anythign else
SkyeDS: if he wants to think you'
SkyeDS: re apologizing for anything else, that's his delusion
evile: well, he threatened to spank me, jokingly, and I just reacted
badly due to having had other encounters (one that same night) where
people were trying to treat me as if I was a Sub, or THEIR sub, even.
SkyeDS: I did that a lot with Kaleon. I was sorry he was upset over
whatever, even if I wasn't sorry for whatever whatever was.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I can't imagine what I would have done.
evile: Well, hell, even if you ARE a sub, you are not that person's,
so ...it just seems rude to me
SkyeDS: if you're a sub that belongs to someone else in particular,
some Masters get mighty mad about poaching
evile: I guess by being female and showing up alone, I must be
sending a message of some sort
SkyeDS: people in GWNN, particularly Officers, should ask first. im
(completely uninformed)o
SkyeDS: what does female have to do with it anyway. You could just
as easily be a Domme.
evile: the first person that approached me at a munch and offered to
tie me up was an officer.
evile: I tried to be gracious about that one.
evile: But it's happened a few times since then, with other people,
and it's starting to piss me off. I realize I'm fairly new to GWNN,
but I'm not new to the lifestyle.
evile: Maybe because I'm shy? I really have no clue...
SkyeDS: I would have to be there to have any clue
evile: well....hopefully with time, people will get to know me and
the problem will go away. And in the meantime, I will just have to
keep a lid on my temper and not threaten people with bodily harm when
they may just be joking or whatever.
SkyeDS: "Bad things transpired previous to your joke, I didn't
realize you were joking, I reacted badly, I'm sorry I reacted badly.
It was unintentional.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I had to do that at the last event we went to
SkyeDS: I was in physical pain. I was having a bad period on top of
that. The check engine light comes on as we pull in 200 miles from
home.
SkyeDS: I show our Coggins at the gate.
SkyeDS: get down to the campsite, and someone I don't know comes up,
and without identifying herself, asks to see my Coggins.
evile: wtf!!
SkyeDS: I wasn't rude, but I did square my shoulders, draw myself up,
and ask her with civility, rather coldly, I'm afraid, who she was.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and once she told me she was marshal in charge, I was more
than happy to show them to her.
evile: sounds like you did what you should have...
SkyeDS: when I got the horses taken care of, I went over, stuck my
hand out, properly introduced myself, explained myself, and
apologized, and it was fine from then on out.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: this is not the first time the marshal in charge has not
identified themselves as such.
evile: Might want to bring it up in the proper forum...
SkyeDS: if I put that into print that will draw fire
SkyeDS: I've told the KEO about it, she knows.
SkyeDS: I have no problems with authority, but authority has to
identify itself to me as such.
evile: OK. that sounds like you've done everything you can, and now
it's up to the KEO to make sure people are acting within their
offices properly
SkyeDS: most gates have coggins check as part of gate.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: one Steppes event didn't, and Bridget, rather than waiting
for us to complete gate, held up a very busy gate to demand that we
show Coggins right then.
SkyeDS: without telling me she was MIC (marshal in charge)
SkyeDS: so I politely said, how bout we show you Coggins after we
register and before we unload, so we can get out of these nice
people's hair first.
evile: bizarre.
SkyeDS: which drew "I'm MIC and you'll damn well show them now and
not flaunt my authority in front of an audience...."
evile: sounds like her problem, not yours.
SkyeDS: ya
SkyeDS: and as I try to always do, I went to the KEO and said, I
pissed someone off again
SkyeDS: here's what I did.
SkyeDS: I have a pologized and will try not to do it again in future.
evile: ugh. that's really irritating...
SkyeDS: I'm sure Laura gets tired of hearing that.
SkyeDS: but I never want her to hear something from someone else
first.
evile: Well, if she cant' figure out where the problems actually lie,
then she has no business in a leadership role...
SkyeDS: I don't expect her to manage Bridget's personality problems
SkyeDS: and by going to her first, that way I keep my own ass covered
whenever I rub a personality with authority the wrong way
SkyeDS: I do hope she'll reconsider making Bridget the next KEO.
evile: well, it seems not unreasonable to say "if you are acting in
official capacity, please do or say something to indictae that FIRST
before making your demands of people"
SkyeDS: and I'm sure she knows that.
SkyeDS: well, Laura knows how I feel about authority identifying
itself. And I don't think she's going to hold me accountable when it
doesn't.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I have Coggins in my hands when we go through gate, so that
should forestall the future Bridgets.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and the next time someone I don't know asks to see them, I
will smile and brightly say, hi, I'm Bella, mka Skye, and you are?"
evile: there ya go :)
SkyeDS: I hate saccharine from other people
SkyeDS: but if that's what they want from me, they can have it
SkyeDS: if that's what they want, as much as it feels false to me, I
will "strive to be compassionate" and give it to them
evile: *nod*
evile: I wouldn't necessarily go all fakey sweet, but definitely
meeting rudeness with politeness and pleasantness brings up rude
people pretty short.
evile: If I had stopped on Saturday with *sweet smile, pleasant
voice* "I'd like to see you try," it probably would have been just
fine and not an Incident.
SkyeDS: I wasn't even rude, but cool civility obviously upset the
other person.
evile: well, that's their problem.
SkyeDS: I'm sure she read "who the hell are you and why are you
asking me" between the lines.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: most people take 90% of what they think you said, from
something other than the actual words you said
SkyeDS: that aggravates me.
SkyeDS: I use language with as much or more exactitude than almost
anyone else I know (there are a very few rare exceptions)
SkyeDS: I don't need to be translated.
evile: yup. Well, tone of voice, body language, facial
expression...can all belie polite words to an extent that the
discrepancy between words and unspoken clues become offensive.
SkyeDS: ya
SkyeDS: one nice thing about horses is that they don't tell you
everything is ok in a voice and with body posture that says otherwise.
evile: but, the horses also are cued into nonverbal clues such that
if you tell them "it's OK" and your body language, tone of voice,
etc. say it's NOT OK, they will spook.
SkyeDS: ya
SkyeDS: sineater wants to know why Jesse doesn't calm down to his use of
the calm down cue. As have told him, it's because he isn't calm.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I am proud of him though.
SkyeDS: at BG25, he withdrew Jesse BEFORE she caused harm (no biting,
no kicking, just threats)
evile: that's good.
SkyeDS: Bridget, the MIC of her home event, let her mare kick three
times, and actually connect, before she withdrew.
SkyeDS: the Founding Baronness personally complimented sineater
evile: I'm glad he got recognized.
SkyeDS: <beams proudly.
evile: How is he, BTW?
SkyeDS: he still sounds bad, but he feels better, far as I know
SkyeDS: he goes for more testing for his hands on Friday
evile: I don't really see how carpal tunnel could be making him that
sick...that just seems really wierd to me.
SkyeDS: I don't think his respiratory illness has anything to do with
the CT
evile: Oh, OK. that makes better sense, then.
SkyeDS: as far as the cold goes, he still sounds bad when he speaks.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but at least with me, and I think with him too, speech sounds
the worst when the worst is all over
evile: hope so. In the meantime, hot tea with rum & honey are always
a fine thing. :)
SkyeDS: yum
evile: I use Celestial Seasons "Sleepytime" and lots of honey, with a
shot of 16 year old Bushmills my father gave me. Well, OK, it's
whiskey & not rum, but still good.
SkyeDS: CS makes good stuff
SkyeDS: alcohol is alcohol
evile: I like their 'nutcracker sweet' Xmas tea.
SkyeDS: I'm partial to hot chocolate with amaretto and frangelico
myself.
evile: I like hot chocolate w/peppermint schnapps, myself.
SkyeDS: I will happily take rumpleminze (stronger than schnapps) or
bailey's/carolan's too :)
evile: (BTW, the first Saturday in Jan *is* Jan 1. The first Sunday
in Jan is Jan 2.)
SkyeDS: tis?
evile: Bailey's is great stuff.
SkyeDS: SIGH
SkyeDS: dammit
SkyeDS: I was right the first time
evile: Hey, if the HFS people aren't smart or resourceful enough to
check a damn calendar, their problem.
SkyeDS: hangs head.
SkyeDS: wish yahoo allowed deleted entires like lj does, LOL
evile: eh, shit happens. Don't worry about it too much.
evile: I believe you can delete the message in the group itself, but
if someone has it set on 'email' (like me) they already got it.
evile: the yahoo group has a calendar function on it...can't believe
the people in charge wouldn't bother themselves to look at it if they
were trying to plan something.
SkyeDS: I deleted them
SkyeDS: and the retraction will make the people who get it auto
SkyeDS: so (sigh)
evile: were I in charge of a group (please god, never) I would take a
paper calendar with me everywhere. (as it happens, I take a printout
of my Yahoo calendar most places.)
===============================
To: Drandmir@yahoogroups.com
From: "Skye DreamSinger"
Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 19:22:13 -0000
Subject: [Drandmir] Mistake and Apology
Dear Sir Nezzarin and Populace,
Yesterday I stated that New Year's Day would be the first Saturday in
January. That was a mistake on my part. The first Saturday in
January is actually January 2, not January 1. (Some of us will
probably still be recovering from the day before, I'm thinkin ;)
I am very sorry for my mistake, especially since I am aware that
decisions with regard to event planning were made upon my mistaken
representation.
I would like to extend a sincere apology to Sir Nezzarin and everyone
else present, and I hope that no lasting harm has been done.
Blessings,
Skye
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