2352A Guide to Vices (ganked from someone's LJ)

Jul. 10, 2004

 

 

A Guide to Vices

Anger
Don't: Allow your anger to control you, negatively impacting your
progress.
Do: Allow the fire of your hate to fuel your succession to power.

Arrogance
Don't: Tell the imbecile he's so far out of his league that he isn't
fit to stroke your bat.
Do: Allow him to strike out in front of thousands of fans. Then, hit
the home run. You see, words can be forgotten - public humiliation
lasts a lifetime.

Bragging
Don't: Tell of your exploits. The fact that you need to will
encourage people to question your credibility.
Do: Have your friends tell of your exploits. It will get you power,
respect and sex with minimal effort on your part.

Cowardice
Don't: Attempt to fight the four-hundred pounds of brick shithouse
that spilled your beer.
Do: That night, blast his girl in the ass while he rots in a cell
after the inevitable barfight.

Disloyalty
Don't: Abandon your partners because they don't live up to your
expectations.
Do: Abandon your partners because they don't live up to your
expectations, then take them for everything they have, as per the
fine print in your contract.

Envy
Don't: Allow your envy to show, or to affect the quality of your life.
Do: Find your target's most prized talent and beat the pants off him.

Greed
Don't: Surround yourself with everything you own.
Do: Allow the people you own to surround you with everything they
own. People (and their possessions) can be replaced, but your stuff
is forever.

Injustice
Don't: Expect a blind visage of a weak social group to smite your
enemies.
Do: Collect the eyes for your eye...one from each of their children.

Impatience
Don't: Crack the whip on your servants, as they will resent you for
it.
Do: Force their manager to crack the whip, while you feign sympathy.
Everybody wins!

Jealousy
Don't: Tell your girlfriend that you'd like to sleep with her friend.
Do: Tell your girlfriend that you'd like her to expand her sexual
horizons with her closest friend, and not to worry, because you'll be
right there.

Recklessness
Don't: Engage in dangerous behavior that could injure or kill you.
Do: Invest in human shields. Then, engage in dangerous behavior that
could injure or kill your replaceable shield.

Sloth
Don't: Wallow in your own comfort.
Do: Goad your loved ones into hiring singing lesbians to cater to you
in your time of need.

Untrustworthiness
Don't: Reveal to anyone that you are not trustworthy.
Do: Reveal to anyone that you are not trustworthy, after it's too
late to be affected by any consequences.

Weakness
Don't: Display any weakness.
Do: Shoot, stake, stab and burn anyone who uncovers your buried
secret. You may be afraid of spiders but you can hit small, moving
targets with unflinching accuracy.

Wrath
Don't: Raise your flaming sword and smite the wicked.
Do: Incite a mob and direct them toward your enemies. Work smarter,
not harder.

2353another suicide dream

• Jul. 10, 2004

   

  I had another dream about committing suicide. my mom gave me a bottle
  of pills. About 3 different kinds, maybe 10 of each. I swallowed them
  without water.
  
  Probably because I saw the patients in Political Asylum, the play
  lastnight, doing it.
  
  And then in my dream I lay down to die. Weird to dream yourself going
  from sleep to death.
  
  another dream, or a later dream, mom was teaching at some big
  alternative school. All the students had aquariums and cages with
  animals. There was an animal that she didn't know what it was an it
  turned out to be an albino hedgehog with very soft spikes. Theones
  near its face were normal-feeling, but as you went closer to the tail
  they got softer and softer, more like regular fur. It was a very
  sweet, placid hedgie, didn't want me to put her down and put her back
  in her cage. Also something about some kind of game.
  
  Anyway...wierd dreams. Who knows what they mean.
  
  Suicide would be great, but I wouldn't do that to my family. My life
  isn't miserable enough to do that to people. yet.