evile | Jun. 29th, 2004

Jun. 29th, 2004

Jun. 29, 2004

Krav Maga last night did something to my back and/or my sciatic nerve
on the left side. Owie.

I can't find my wallet this a.m. Pretty sure I had it in my bag after
class, it may still be in my class bag and not in my work bookbag. I
hope. I will probably worry about it all day. How irritating.

I hope it didn't fall out of my bookbag either on the way out the
door or as I got out of the car to go in to work.

ergh. Hassle. My whole existence is in that wallet--drivers license,
library card, SS card, credit card, ulta card, cash, ATM card. ugh.

Jun. 29, 2004

http://montages.blogspot.com/2004/06/prisoners-of-subprime-american-
dream_28.html

Monday, June 28, 2004
Prisoners of the Subprime American Dream, Cont'd

When the Federal Reserve raises interest rates, the gap between
poorer debtor and richer creditor classes, so far hidden under a pile
of cheap credit, will widen and become painfully visible:

By several measures, Americans are more indebted than ever. Through
the first quarter, they owed nearly $9 trillion in home mortgages,
car loans, credit card debt, home equity loans and other forms of
personal borrowing - accumulating nearly 40 percent of this total in
just four years, according to published Federal Reserve data. But
most of the debt is at fixed interest rates. Thus it will be
unaffected initially as the central bank begins its much expected
quarter-point increases in the so-called federal funds rate, now at a
46-year low of 1 percent. The federal funds rate, in turn, influences
the interest rate cost of most household and commercial debt.

Only one-fifth of the $9 trillion in total household debt, or $1.8
trillion, is borrowed at variable rates. Variable rates . . . often
track what the Fed does, which means they are likely to rise one-
quarter of a percentage point over the next few weeks. The immediate
cost for the nation's households as a result of this process could be
as much as $4.5 billion. . . .

The $4.5 billion is roughly 10 percent of the cost of the rise in oil
prices so far this year. That is not a big number yet, but each
quarter-point increase would be another step closer to matching the
oil shock, which brought gasoline prices above $2 a gallon in many
parts of the country.

While the oil shock quickly raised the gasoline and heating oil bills
of nearly every household, the burden of higher interest payments
falls most heavily in the early stages on lower- and middle-income
families. They are the biggest users of variable rate debt,
particularly on credit cards, various studies show.

Upper income families, on the other hand -- that is, families with
more than $80,000 in annual income -- are more likely to have fixed
rate debt, particularly mortgages, and to owe relatively little on
their credit cards. What variable rate debt they do have is usually
at lower interest rates than lower income people. Lower income
people, as a result, are 10 times more likely than upper income
people to be devoting 40 percent or more of their income to debt
repayment, the Economic Policy Institute reports. In addition, upper
income people are the nation's biggest savers, and a rate increase
raises the return on their interest-bearing securities.

"If you are a household with a lot of variable-rate debt and little
equity left in your home that you have not already borrowed against,
this is going to be a scary time," said Mark Zandi, who is the chief
economist at Economy.com. . . .

Another notch up in home prices would give . . . some relief; they
could float a 4 to 5 percent home equity loan against the additional
value of their home and use the loan to pay down credit card debt.
Tens of millions of Americans have used this route to lower the
interest cost of credit card debt. With homes appreciating more
slowly, there is less collateral left to support home equity loans,
and paying the outstanding balances will become more costly. They
totaled $375 billion at the end of last year. Home prices are a big
potential casualty of rising interest rates. Sales of new and
existing homes surged in May, the government reported, as people
apparently rushed to become homeowners before mortgage rates went any
higher. The average 30-year mortgage is already up a percentage point
since early spring.

But for Stephen Black, a homebuilder here, the surge in home sales is
a false signal. The customer base is already shrinking for his basic
product, a two-story house with four bedrooms and a two-car garage on
nearly a quarter-acre, a home currently priced at $215,000.

The buyers were families with $50,000 to $70,000 in annual income.
Now they are increasingly bunched at the high end. The low end is
pulling back partly because mortgages are more costly . . .

Across town, in a rundown neighborhood, the working poor are just
starting to show up in greater numbers at Tabor Community Services, a
Lancaster agency that counsels those deeply in debt, said Michael
Weaver, president of Tabor.

The "fragile low income," as Mr. Weaver calls them, do not tend to
own homes, but those who do buy them through subprime mortgage loans,
in many cases with adjustable rates. Apart from housing, nearly every
transaction for these consumers involves interest payments in one
form or another. Lacking enough income, they rent television sets,
furniture and appliances, signing agreements that can adjust upward
as interest rates rise.

Like their higher income peers, Mr. Weaver's clients often take loans
to buy car, in their case, used cars. But they are loans of shorter
duration and higher interest rates than the standard four- or five-
year new car loan, now averaging 7.4 percent. They have credit cards,
but at rates above 15 percent, which convert into much higher
penalties when monthly payments are late.

"These are people who are maxed out on debt," Mr. Weaver said, "and
their numbers are growing." (Louis Uchitelle, "Families, Deep in
Debt, Facing Pain of Growing Interest Rates," New York Times, June
28, 2004)

Jun. 29, 2004

http://www.davensjournal.com/obsidian/Essays/blingin.html

Wiccan Bling Bling
Obsidian

----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

My first essay of last year alluded to this, and my first essay of
this year will deal with this individual topic specifically: Wiccan
bling bling. I am sick and fucking tired of seeing people plaster
themselves with platter-sized pentacles and dressing like fucking
mallgoths and picking out mediocre names like Lord Lupine or Greyhawk
that sound like they came out of a fucking D&D manual. The blingin'
has to stop, because we ain't got no hood ta reprezent, foo. I
understand the need for identification, but this has got to go.

There are people out there who like to dress extravagantly just
because they like to. I don't have a problem with them. There are
people out there who prefer a two-inch pentacle because they
themselves have huge bodies, and a rinky-dink 1" medallion doesn't
look proportionate. I don't have a problem with them either. What I
have a problem with is people with average to scrawny body style,
trying to look like the besom-mancer from Fantasia or the little
sluts from the Craft.

Below I will compile a list of things that, if you don't have a
really good reason for sporting them (and chances are you don't) and
you find yourself guilty of any of the following faux pas, I will
have no choice but to label you a wannabe fucking poser:
A pointy hat. Pointy hats serve no purpose magically (unless you're
one of the Coneheads or you're really desperate for a place to store
your cone incense, in which case I urge you to buy a chest of
drawers), they look fucking stupid, and they only serve to reinforce
the stereotype that witches follow the same lame-ass yearning to fit
the mould as wannabe djinns do by emulating the show I Dream of
Jeannie. Lose the fucking hat. If it has moons on it, and you wear it
in ritual, you are triply disgraced, and thereby deserve to
reincarnate as a box of "Chicken in a Biskit" to be eaten by some
size-24 wholesome Christian housewife in Missouri watching a Chiefs
game on her cable-unready colour TV that's the size of a Toyota
Sequoia and her truck-driving, malodorous husband with back hair and
a yearning for Yuengling lager.
A broadsword. Look. Swords kick ass, yes. Swords make you feel
powerful, yes. But good fucking gods, what do you need a four-foot
blade of steel for? This isn't Braveheart, and unless you're twelve
feet tall you don't need an athamé taller than most midgets. Sorry,
it doesn't work that way. If you bring a broadsword to ritual,
especially a public ritual, you're a pretentious noob with a chip on
your shoulder, and there's nothing more annoying to serious partakers
of any social gathering, including the public working of magic, than
a complete newbie who thinks they know everything better than you do.
The wrong idols. I have idols, but only of the gods I particularly
worship. I wouldn't acquire a statue of Cybele because frankly,
Cybele doesn't interest me in the least and I want nothing to do with
her. I would never dishonor a god I don't worship by erecting a
statue of 'em in my home. If you invite me to your house, make sure
your accessory gods are taken down OFF the mantle; I don't
particularly want a pissed off rendition of Isis glaring down at me
because you have poor Aset up there basically as a showpiece and not
as the goddess she truly is. Have some fucking respect for gods, even
the ones you don't worship, because someone else does, damnit.
"Theban runes." Lose the "Theban runes"; it's not a good alphabet
anyway. It's just a way to write a bunch of scribbles and look
mysterious. It's not even an efficient alphabet: it's a bunch of
ornate squiggly lines that supposedly look esoteric. It may actually
be based upon glyphs used in Thebes, I don't know, but with my
experience as a guide here (I invent languages, remember?), I feel
that as an alphabet, the "Theban runes" are cumbersome to write
hastily, are difficult to differentiate from one another (especially
if the writer scratched them down in haste!), and when you consider
that U, V, and W are supposedly the same letter, it makes phrases
like "Wu Tang Clan ain't nuthin' to fuck wit" really ridiculous
looking. Then again, if you're givin' props to rappers from da hoodz
in THEBAN, you have another thing coming.
Polyester Voodoo dolls. Look, jackass. You're white. You're a member
of a former British colony (or worse, you're from the UK yourself).
The closest spiritual experience you've come to experiencing true
Carribean culture is a Miss Cleo advert or that song that goes "Pass
the dutchie pon the left hand side". Go watch "Serpent and the
Rainbow" at 3:00 in the morning on a waning moon, and then go back to
worshipping Gardner in timid desperation, folks. The "little Voodoo
kit" ain't gonna do SHIT for you because you're just trying to be all
hocus-pocus-woogy-woogy instead of finding magical practices that
ride similar to your own cultural and geographical identity.
A bookcase of nothing but Llewellyn books. Yes, they're the largest
publisher of metaphysical books. Wal*Mart is also the largest retail
distributor. If all of your toiletries are "Equate" off-brand, you're
a cheapass. Now, this isn't the problem; after all, I'm a cheapass.
But I don't go around displaying my collection of off-brand
toiletries and calling myself the freshest-smelling, classiest person
in town. Llewellyn is the largest publisher for two reasons: Silver
Ravenwolf and Scott Cunningham. Between them, a freshly spun cotton
pillow looks like a sack of marbles. My advice is to get off the
fluff post haste, but if you do choose to remain a fluffball, at
least have the common decency and respect to admit that you're a
wannabe and not a serious magical practitioner because you can't do a
goddamn thing that isn't printed in some Llewellyn book. Or shit,
even worse...
A bookcase of nothing but meta books, PERIOD. I have two bookcases'
worth of books, the bookcases each six feet tall, with twelve shelves
between them. My meta books comprise a little more than a tenth of
that space. See, unlike some people, I have the ability to be
interested in multiple things. My mother is a fundamentalist
Christian, who has a bookshelf full of nothing but Christian
literature: six copies of the Bible, the entire Left Behind series, a
bunch of how-to books for prayer and Bible study, Christian parenting
books and half of the Chicken Soup for the Invertebrate Soul series.
Similarly, I know people who individually foot Llewellyn's bills for
a month. I see little difference between the two, except that Jesus
and Cernunnos are different individuals. See, fundamentalism is a
sign of narrow-mindedness. And people who absorb themselves into
religion completely, REGARDLESS of the actual religion they're
immersing themselves in, are bound for a life of ignorance, stupidity
and deference of blame. My mother claims to be dead certain I am
bound for hell, and little Lord Lupine over there claims to be dead
certain Aradia is real. Mom thinks I'm evil because I have an altar
to my gods erected in my living room. Little Lord Lupine thinks I'm
evil because I've come to the opinion that what most people think is
Wicca is really just a load of bullshit. Grow the fuck up, learn to
read something that doesn't have the word "Witchcraft" on the cover.
Get a hobby. Grow some facial hair. Plant a garden. Get into
whittling. Go fishing. Pick up the flute. But PLEASE, get something
else in your life besides your religion, because if you let it
encompass that much of your life, you're only going to drown in a
pile of bullshit, and you're going to be miserable. And no matter
which religion you immerse yourself in next, the vicious cycle is
going to repeat itself. Religion is meant to SUPPORT your life, not
SUPPLANT it.
Having the words "Lord" or Lady" in your name. There is a site on the
Internet featuring a list of stupid magical names. Now, mostly it's a
way to make fun of someone else (after all, I'm listed there twice),
but there are some genuinely stupid magical names there. Granted, a
rose by any other name would smell just as sweet, but I still refer
to my betta as Flutter. Names represent the things they identify, and
if your name recalls Bambi or Fantasia or a Harry Potter movie, I'm
going to laugh at you. There's no reason for you to have the
name "Lady Unicorn" or "Lord Lupine" or "Ravens Cry" or "Greyhawk"
or "Dark Angel" or "Maiden Besomrider". Those names just suck. So do
names like "Dark Master Baalthazar" or "Lord Goth" or "Necromancer
Nicolai" or "[insert AD&D monster here]". Those names show that
you're so desperate to be feared that you try to emulate scary things
in order to try to look scary yourself. Another movie analogy: if I
am "the Exorcist", little Lord Goth is "Scary Movie 2". K? Get a real
fucking name, or use the one your parents gave you. At least that has
some power behind it.
And, saving the best for last: Excessively large pentacles. The one
vice of this list I was actually guilty of. My friend Aprel disposed
of my 3" pentacle in a most humourous manner, placing it around the
neck of a giant stuffed Eeyore. There is no reason to wear pentacles
that big unless you're a Jotun. Ever seen 665's "Fat Goths are Funny"
series? If you look like one of them, you need to have your face
pulverised with a ball-peen hammer. If little 140-pound you insists
on wearing a pentacle platter around your neck, you might as well
upgrade it to an altar tile. You may as well paint the word "WYCCAN"
on your forehead (remember to replace the I with a Y, they thynk yt
looks ancyent thys way), wear a green muu muu with 6" purple
pentacles on it, drag around that broadsword, and throw on these Uncle B
Marley shackles and chains while you're at it too. At least that way,
the mental burdens would be physically represented (quite accurately,
I might add). Or even better yet, grow the fuck up, develop some self-
identity, find some self-worth, and start acting like yourself. I
did, and I turned out just fine.

This rant ended up being longer than I anticipated, and I
inadvertently gave out one of the hidden core messages the Obsidian
Mirror has been subtly trying to convey: religion is meant to SUPPORT
your life, not SUPPLANT it. Fundamentalism is the bane of Wicca, and
indeed of any religion altogether. Just as Jerry Falwell and Pat
Robertson destroy Christianity, just like Usama bin Laden and Hammas
corrupt Islam, and just like the Nazi Party and the KKK brought shame
to white pride, these little Wiclets Gone Wild are in the process of
irreparably ruining what could be legitimate neopagan traditions. I
only implore that you, dear reader, please not be one of them.

---------------

Jun. 29, 2004

evile: howdy :P
SkyeDS: mornin darlin
evile: Are we still on for Friday after work or do you want to save
it for another time?
evile: (just flipped over to check out July calendar which is why I
ask)
SkyeDS: sure <looks sheepish> where were we going?
evile: *shrugs* I think I have some garb-ish stuff to give you if you
want it, mall-ratting. I don't think we had a Plan As Such.
SkyeDS: and I can give you my corsets and see if they fit
evile: cool :)
SkyeDS: I had thought to give you the purple and red ones, they're
smaller and have never been worn
SkyeDS: but you're welcome to the black one too
evile: awesome. Whatever you wanna do.
SkyeDS: but it's been worn, the boning will have to be ironed out or
replaced, and one of the grommets needs replacing
evile: *nods* I need to re-bone a corset I got on ebay--the current
boning is some plastic crap that does nothing.
evile: One of these days...it's On The List
SkyeDS: /me looks at her many Lists that are way too long
evile: *nods* metoooo.
evile: I actually have to measure the corset and order the boning --
many steps which are somewhat daunting.
evile: but my work room is clean...so that was a big first step :P
evile: OOH! this is fun--Class is cancelled Wednesday for belt
testing, so I am actually free to maybe attend Poly Dinner :) it's
been ages!
SkyeDS: maybe Bryce will be there (yum)
evile: That would be nice :)
evile: I'm already mentally spending my next paycheck...usually more
fun than actually doing it :P
evile: I want absinthe. And I've wanted some for a long time. So I
think I'm going to get some.
SkyeDS: kaleon was going to make his own
evile: ick.
SkyeDS: by adding wormwood to vermouth
SkyeDS: I told him he'd better by it overseas and have it sent here
SkyeDS: because you fuck up with wormwood internally and you're dead
SkyeDS: and it's one of those things like pennyroyal
SkyeDS: more than two teaspoons and you're dead
evile: yeah, that whole quality control thing is good to have...
SkyeDS: it of course launched a huge debate
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: heaven forbid someone know more than he does about any of his
pet subjects
evile: *laff*
evile: There's only one variety of wormwood that has thujone, anyway,
and I don't think it's commonly available in the states. (if I recall
from my research on the topic)
SkyeDS: lots of people grow their own
SkyeDS: I don't know about the thujone thing
SkyeDS: I only use ww externally
SkyeDS: food, brb
SkyeDS: bk
evile: hey again :)
evile: Maybe I'll just get absinthe spoons & glasses this month....
evile: It's nice to have options :P
SkyeDS: must be, I wouldn't know. haven't had them in a long time :P
evile: Of course, I did buy myself alcohol LAST month, my little
leopard print tequila purse.
evile: These days I mostly just drink beer, so I dont' know why I
think to bother with buying hard liquor or wine.
SkyeDS: I have a stash of lambrusco and coolers in the fridge that I
was using for pain management before the hospital trip
evile: and If I ever want to get serious about LC again I've got to
give it all up...
evile: I got a wine saver thing that is supposed to be able to keep
wine fresh so you only drink a glass or two then put the rest away.
it doesn't seem to work.
evile: It's supposed to create a vacuum in the bottle, but the vacuum
doesn't seem to hold overnight.
SkyeDS: :(
evile: And I really shouldn't be drinking a bottle of wine at a
sitting.
SkyeDS: they say no more than three glasses a day
SkyeDS: I can't see drinking t hat much but that's me
evile: *nods*
evile: It's too bad that no really tasty wine is made in those little
single-serving picnic bottles.
SkyeDS: single serving alcoholic beverages are way cool
evile: yeah. back in my classy picnic days, I used to do that alot.
evile: Not much nicer than climbing Mt. Bonnell with a couple picnic
bottles, baguette, pate, cheese, some Ghiradelli squares...yum.
SkyeDS: good food and drink makes everything better
evile: indeed :)
evile: it's too bad you can't park anywhere near the 360 overlook
anymore, that was a nice spot to watch sunsets & enjoy classy picnic.
SkyeDS: stlil want to investigate Pace Bend
SkyeDS: and Bandera
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: my "sister" is moving to Conway AR, and I want to go to Hot
Springs
SkyeDS: and NOLA
evile: New Orleans is only good in spring or fall. Possibly winter,
but its' a stretch. wet-cold is VERY cold.
evile: Hot Springs would be cool to try out sometime.
SkyeDS: prefer travelling spring/fall anyway
evile: Yeah...summer isn't good for much.
evile: Erin, Marca & co are going to Six Flags in Dallas July 10. too
far, too hot.
SkyeDS: haven't been to SF in forever
SkyeDS: last time we went was when Dell gave sineater tickets to Fiesta
Texas and they let us put arthur in t heir pet room
evile: I like Fiesta TX. Their water area is pretty nice.
evile: You know...you'd think after so long I would have figured out
that more stuff does not make me happy. What I like is going places &
doing things. I should just save my money for more travel.
evile: it's just that 'instant gratification' vs 'deferred
gratification' thing that is troublesome. If I want a thing, I buy
the thing, I have it, I'm momentarily happy. Harder to be sad for a
long time waiting to have what I want, even though it'll ultimately
be more fulfilling.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: I guess I should practice that more so that it becomes easier.
SkyeDS: like tantric sex? ;)
evile: ugh. no thanks.
SkyeDS: long time practicing for more fulfillment, what I meant
evile: I don't like sex enough to waste so much of my sleep-time on
wacky positions & whatnot.
evile: I like my sex Johnny Rotten style: "Two minutes of squishy
noises"
SkyeDS: lol
evile: One of my classmates asked me last night if I had "lots of
children"..Not just 'one' or 'any'..but 'lots of'...eugh. I rudely
laughed in his face
SkyeDS: lol
evile: very sad that my body looks as if it's had "lots of kids".
SkyeDS: how do you explain people that think I'm 28, sonar0m is 17,
and I'm his mother
evile: *shrug* That was an annoying feature of the Kill Bill series--
QT does not seem to have any idea of human female gestation period
nor of what childbirth does to the female body, nor of child
development.
evile: Maybe people just don't know anything about making babies
anymore....
evile: I dont' think it's allowed to be taught in schools anymore...
evile: I just about died when someone asked if Sunshine/tommy was my
kid, and I was all like "NO!!!!"...and then realized that, actually,
I am old enough to have given birth to him....
SkyeDS: lolol
evile: I would have had to be a teenage skank ho, but indeed it is
biologically possible. Whereas it is not biologically possible for
you to have given birth to your lover, as goddessypagancool as that
may be...
SkyeDS: ROFL no thanks
SkyeDS: incest is on the no way in hell list
evile: I think it's context that we are n't getting. See me by
myself, I could pass for mid 20's; see me with a kid, think I'm a mom
in my 30's
evile: hear me bossing the kid around, REALLY think I'm a mom.
SkyeDS: that's why I don't get "you look 28, he looks 17, and are you
his mom?"
SkyeDS: I could come closer to being his mom with our real ages 34/17
SkyeDS: err 34/21
SkyeDS: 13 year difference as opposed to 11
evile: So the same person made all of those assumptions at the same
time? Wierd
SkyeDS: very
evile: *shrug* some people really must be ignorant of human biology.
aliens walk among us. who knows?
evile: Jenni's play opens Thursday. I am trying to get a reservation.
Their paypal link isn't working. could be my work 'puter, it's given
me trouble with Paypal before.
evile: supposedly you can email the box office & ask them to hold a
ticket and pay cash at the door, but I haven't heard back from the
box office yet so I'm worried.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: If you wanted, we could change our get together night to
Thurs, see the play together? Save you some crazy holiday weekend
traffic on Friday, maybe?
SkyeDS: friday is fine
SkyeDS: want me to come over there when I get off work? meet at
capital or meet here?
evile: OK. I was just thinking of what the roads might be
like...people drive like crap on the friday before a long weekend.
SkyeDS: tis, but I don't work Saturday
evile: I have phone duty so I'm done on Friday at 3. Makes very
little sense for me to spend 2-3 hours up here when I could go home &
relax a while.
evile: so you can actually stay out& sleep in the next day. right.
sorry. didn't think.
SkyeDS: you're right
SkyeDS: I could come by your place after work?
evile: that works for me :)
SkyeDS: get paid this week too that's helpful
evile: me too. Thursday.
SkyeDS: I wish it were legal to shoot people in t he face with a
bazooka <sigh>
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: not that it being illegal stops Hugh or sineater
evile: heh.
evile: all the internet stuff just got slow over here. ...so if I
disappear that's what happened.
SkyeDS: tay
evile: wierd...
evile: This may be the most Unfortunate Name Ever: Baby Ruth King
SkyeDS: lol
SkyeDS: there was a parrot named Sweet Baby Jesus
evile: OMG, that's awful.
SkyeDS: let me ask you a question
SkyeDS: somebody emails yo u
SkyeDS: the email does not seem to ask anything that requires an
immediate reply
SkyeDS: and you don't have anything that immediately needs saying
SkyeDS: so do you send a response automatically to every single email
you get?
evile: I spend a lot of time being bored, so me, yes.
evile: usually.
evile: If I'm busy, no.
evile: next day would be about the latest I ever respond to an EMail.
Unless it's something I have to look up & get info for the person, or
something like that.
SkyeDS: I guess I'm wrong then
SkyeDS: but I am not accustomed to getting responses to every email I
send, particularly not if I'm not asking for a response
evile: *shrug* I dont t hink there's an emily post for email. It
certainly isn't polite to go off on someone if they dont' write you
back right away.
SkyeDS: and so I don't always respond to FYI type emails
evile: you don't even respond to emails with questions sometimes.
That's your right.
SkyeDS: I try to.
SkyeDS: I don't always get them.
evile: It may frustrate the person on the other end, but still no
excuse for rudeness on the othe rperson's end.
evile: Yeah...usually when I don't hear back and I need an answer
I'll try back 1ce, and THEN get pissy after that.
SkyeDS: tex1.net has spam filtering and I can't turn it off
SkyeDS: sineater gets less of his mail than I do of mine for the same
reason
evile: *nods*
SkyeDS: just pisses me off/wounds me
SkyeDS: that someone who's always complaining that I don't reply
SkyeDS: doesn't reply to an email that I thought deserved one
SkyeDS: then when I ask shrugs it off and says, didn't get it
SkyeDS: which has NEVER been something said person ever accepted from
me
evile: Well...either reply every time all the time, or blow them off
completely, depending on how important their goodwill is to you.
SkyeDS: and t hen hauls off with poor me, you always treated all of
your friends better than me, bla bla bla
evile: *shrug* drama sucks.
evile: it's up to you to decide how important this person is and
whether or not they're worth the hassle.
SkyeDS: I actually had written this person off because of no response
until I got msged just now
evile: If they've complained repeatedly that you dont' reply, and
you've explained your outlook on replies, and they either can't or
wont' accept your communication style, and they're not important
enough to change your style for...just blow 'em off.
SkyeDS: thing is, I DID reply
SkyeDS: it apparently wasn't received
SkyeDS: but that's not acceptable, for me not to reply to email I
don't receive
SkyeDS: just for someone else
evile: Most email programs have some thing you can do to verify that
the mail was rec'd and opened. If it's important to them they can key
their email to you that way and have proof of when/if you read.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: And if you give a shit, you can do the same to them, and/or
save a copy to a 'sent' folder with their name on it. So if they want
to fuss at you, you can say "Sent X day at X time,"

SkyeDS: a true friend won't require a courtproof paper trail
evile: it's just a matter of how important this person's
interactions are to you. If you can live happily without them, sounds
like you should.
evile: *nods* Yeah...if they ask 'why didn't you write back" and you
say "I did" and they say "I dint' get it" you say sorry, and that
should be the end of it rather than all this BS drama.
SkyeDS: my first problem with this is, when I don't get mail and I
don't respond to something I don't get, that is not acceptable
SkyeDS: and then to have a big BS guilttrip laid on me by someone who
has treated me like shit for over a year.
evile: *shrug* it doesn't sound to me like this person is worth all
these hurt feelings. Why give them so much of your energy?
SkyeDS: I guess I"m going to have to block him
SkyeDS: I've deleted him from all my msgrs, but to keep from getting
msged I'll just have to block
evile: "I replied, sorry you didn't get it. Call me sometime on the
phone & we can talk, if you want."
SkyeDS: which will be seen as hostile but I don't fucking care anymore
SkyeDS: I get accused of hostility regardless of what I do
evile: nope. doesn't sound like its' worth any more effort on your
part. This person is going to ascribe hostile motives no matter what
you do/don't do.
SkyeDS: yep
evile: might as well do what's easiest & best for yourself, fuck 'em.
evile: I've been fortunate lately..haven't been at odds with anyone.
Maybe I'm getting bettter at this stuff!
SkyeDS: sighs
evile: *knocks wood*
evile: I keep thinking it's Wednesday already. *sigh* It's going to
be a long week.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: Oh well. Pay day on Thurs will be a help. And hopefully poly
dinner Wed. too. I'm maybe going to the movies tonight with my little
flakey friend Elena. I forgot my cell phone, so she probably has
called to cancel sometime today.
evile: She is always pulling these bizarre flake things, and guilt
trips because we don't spend more time...well, she is a competitive
bike racer, and that takes literally 8 months out of the year. So
please tell me how we can spend more time together when 8 months of
the year she is in the gym or on the trails?
SkyeDS: no clue
evile: Definitely one of those situations where I was letting myself
get hurt feelings for no good reason. Now, I'm kind of
like 'whatever' when she calls or emails and wants to do something. I
agree to whatever she wants to do, 9 times out of 10 she cancels at
the last minute. It doesn't take much effort or emotion on my part
evile: And all of her personal problems are the same ones she had in
college, so that's a no-brainer for me to make the right noises
about... it's pretty low maintenance, doesn't waste too much of my
time & energy, and she seems happy with the situation.
SkyeDS: wish some of my friends were that easy
evile: *shrug* the sad thing is that she could die tomorrow and I
would not miss her. And probably feels same about me. there is more
of a risk involved in Real friendships, but definitely more of a
payoff, too.
evile: If she ever got snippy with me about replying to emails or
returning calls, I'd happily give her the boot without a second
thought.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: I just need to get better at being a hermit.
evile: because I don't have the time, energy, or $ to be a good
friend to anyone.
evile: wooops, it's 4. time for me to walk paper.
evile: *hugs* Talk at ya tomorrow. Drive safe!
SkyeDs: hugs

Jun. 29, 2004

Saw Stepford Wives with e. Pretty cute film, funny twist ending.

I think if I had an opportunity to be happy, I'd take it. Even if it
involved being turned into a 'robot' with control chips and whatnot.

If there was something in my brain that could be turned on or off
that would make me happy to do the boring paper shuffle at work and
happy to come home and scrub toilets and scoop poop and wash and
scrub and clean and be a cuntslave to the house and to Sweetie, and wear
makeup and girly clothes and get in shape and stay in shape and cook
and clean and feel happy the whole time...I would love it.

There is no difference, subjectively, between BEING happy and FEELING
happy.

An, really, I do like a clean house.

I just hate cleaning it. Especially when most of the mess and clutter
isn't mine and I dont' know where it goes.