Mar. 20th, 2004

2032*sigh*

Mar. 20th, 2004 06:18 pm
evile: (clutter)

    Mar. 20, 2004

     

     

    So I got home from work yesterday & Jeanne & Mark were napping. I
    called [aunt L] to thank her for the $, and we talked.

    J&M wanted to get to a club by 8 for a show, so we didn't have time
    for a go-out,sit-down dinner, so Sweetie & Jeanne went for El Regio & we
    had chicken for dinner.

    I caught myself several times about to say ugly stuff about
    kids/parents/ etc. and stopped myself because J&M are TTC.

    After they left for the shows, I told Sweetie about my revelation. I
    didn't realize how much I talk ugly about kids/parents. He said he'd
    noticed it and it bothered him AND furthermore he'd told me it
    bothered him.

    "You told me this? Out loud in English?" I asked.

    "Yes," he replied.

    "hm" I answered.

    WHEN??

    -------------

    I wonder how much longer he's going to put up with me and why he's
    even bothering, because it seems like every time unpleasant topics
    come up, it turns out that I'm "always" talking mean to him, "always"
    making him feel bad about himself and now, "always" saying ugly stuff
    that he doesn't like about brats and breeders.

    So...the main solution I suppose is for me to just stop talking to or
    around him. Or him to leave.

    *sigh*

    I hate my relationship right now, I really do.

    And why don't *I* leave? Money.

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