1707annoyances

Oct. 20, 2003

 

 

Journalcon was a failure. I didn't manage to meet anyone, except
weetabix & trancejen for a second, and they immediately ignored me,
so ...I skulked away.

1 workshop. a few veggies. a cup of coffee, maybe a cup and a half.
and enough self-hatred to derail all my self improvement plans for a
few days. And that's what my $55 bought me.

*sigh*

while I'm venting, there's a lady here at work who is moving from
Austin. She said she had extra cap metro passes she was going to give
me since she wouldn't need them. I said thanks, and now she never has
given them to me, even though i ran into her in the restroom and she
talked about them again after that first time. WTF. I dont' care if
someone gives me anything, but don't tell me you are gonna give me
something and then NOT. And there is no polite way to remind someone
of a self-inflicted favor they took on in regards to you...it's just
annoying.

[Aunt L] did this to me, too. Said something about sharing her bonus or
giving everyone a little something or somesuch after she retired. And
she hasn't.

It's her money, so I feel greedy and rotten for even thinking about
it and wanting it....but I just don't understand why you'd say that
and then not follow through.

*sigh* and I could really use bus passes &/or extra $ right now, too.

1708guilt trip from M V

Oct. 20, 2003

got a phone message from M V [X's dad] sometime this weekend, I think maybe
Saturday evening while we were at the movies or Sunday while we were
shopping for Sweetie's work clothes.

Anyway, it was him saying "Thank you for all your help" and "Thank
you for helping C [my wife] during the troubles a couple weeks ago"...very
polite, no snippy tone, but definitely not the tone M V usually
uses.

So, I guess(?) it's a guilt trip, meant to make me feel bad about not
doing anything for/with the kids while Xtal was incarcerated and C
was overrun with rugrats.

Well...I am sorry as hell for the kids, and I feel like shit for not
being able to be there for them.

But...that week we had other things going on, that weekend Elaine was
in ICU...and I just wasn't up to handling anything else.

Plus, Xtal and I hadn't been friends or even spoken to each other
for over 6 months at that point. I have been *more* than generous
with my time, energy, and money with the [X family] and their children
in the past.

But...M V needed somebody to vent at, or be mad at, and it doesn't
really do me any more damage for him to be mad at me or blame me for
whatever. It's totally irrational, but I can understand. And while it
hurts my feelings, it isn't actually doing anything negative to me to
let him be mad at me or blame me for whatever.

Even though this was ALL M and X's fault. Nothing
from me.

Oh well.