1620dream

• Sep. 16, 2003

  I dreamt that I was at college w/ J-Law, we were going to be roommates.
  Our room # was 7. I thought I arrived first, but there were already
  clothes in the drawers & closets. Also old bed frames, mirrors &
  furniture stacked against the left wall. I put a tape into her stereo
  since it sounded better than my radio. I had told some people the
  previous semester that we were having a party on move-in day at 7pm
  but nobody showed up. I unpacked & I just fit my stuff in wherever,
  when J-Law showed up I asked her why she was taking up more than half
  the drawer space & it turned out that the stuff wasn't hers.
  
  Next morning, I got up when my alarm went up & tried to wake J-Law so
  we could go to breakfast. She wanted to snooze some more so I went to
  the shower. It was a huge area for so few dorm rooms. 1 central pipe
  with shower heads sticking out in a circle, no curtains or anything.
  I peed in the shower. Sorority girls looking.

1621How to land that dream job from ediets,com

 

Sep. 16, 2003

 

 

How To Land That Dream Job!

Special for eDiets
by Hara Estroff Marano


Do you play well with others? If you're a part of the working world,
playing well with others means being a member of a team. It's a key
part of nearly every job description. At the very least, it means
that you can get along in the workplace -- that you have the social
skills to create open, productive relationships with other workers so
that collectively you can all get done what you need to get done.
This may mean writing a research report, inventing a fresh sales
presentation or just keeping a company running day to day.

On a deeper level, being a team player is about managing emotions and
translating them into effective communication. That can be a
difficult task, depending on the work environment, your personality
and the personalities of others on the team. Conventional wisdom says
that we should keep emotions in check when we're at work. Showing
strong feelings is a no-no. We often think being "professional" means
curbing our thoughts and words and conforming to the office norm. But
being a team player requires reading the emotions of others -- the
good, bad and especially the in between. Then you can respond
accordingly in order to accomplish the job before you.

According to researchers from the University of Michigan, squashing
your emotions in the office may be a mistake, especially in today's
diverse, twenty-first century workplaces. Being impersonal and
focusing solely on work can be detrimental to productivity, says
Jeffrey Sanchez-Burks, a psychologist at the University of Michigan
who has studied teamwork styles in different cultures, including the
U.S. "East Asian, Latin American and Middle Eastern cultures tend to
believe that social and emotional relationships are just as important
at work as a relentless focus on the task at hand," Sanchez-Burks
says.

In the U.S. workplace, Sanchez-Burks found, the typical, impersonal
workplace attitude often leads one to miss important cues in
nonverbal communication from colleagues. This view of the proper
workplace behavior seems to be mostly limited to the U.S., according
to the study.

So, how can you show your emotions in a way that is effective? Here
are a few key ideas that industrial psychologists say you should keep
in mind when working as a team.

Flexibility: This is a key trait that successful team players need.
When a project doesn't go as planned, or takes an unexpected turn,
you will have the advantage if you can alter your strategies to deal
with unforeseen circumstances. And in a weak economy, workers who can
adapt to change are more valuable.

Compromise: Learning to funnel many different viewpoints into a plan
of action goes hand in hand with flexibility. It's important to learn
to listen to those on the team, particularly those who don't agree
with you. If you are part of a group, you won't get your way all the
time. Taking into account all viewpoints can make a team stronger and
the result better.

Complimentary Criticism: Do you know how to compliment others? What
about the art of critique? Both can be equally difficult. Be honest,
but also try to be gracious. A little generosity can pave the way for
productive office relationships. Some psychologists suggest
complimenting coworkers and subordinates in public, but criticizing
in private. This also means accepting feedback from others and
letting your defenses down when you listen.

Physical Cues: Some of us grew up learning that direct eye contact
was disrespectful. Others learned the opposite. In the workplace,
body language can be important in conveying that you are not only
listening to a person, but that you are really taking it in. Pay
attention and make sure the other person knows it.

Own Up to It: This one's obvious -- if you make a mistake, you should
acknowledge it. That means not shifting the blame onto others or
making excuses for failure. It takes a mature and strong will, but
it's a great way to build a team. Other members will learn to trust
you and your integrity.

Strong and Weak: It's a common job interview question, "What is your
greatest strength and what's your biggest weakness?" When it comes to
teamwork, it really helps to know the answers. Some people are better
able to communicate in person than in writing. Others are unwilling
to share their expertise with others because of a competitive streak.
Teams are a great concept precisely because contrasting personalities
and skills can complement each other.

Hara Estroff Marano is Editor-At-Large of Psychology Today magazine
and Editor-In-Chief of Psychology Today's Blues Buster, a newsletter
about depression. An award-winning writer on human behavior, Hara's
articles have appeared in publications including the New York Times,
Smithsonian, Family Circle and The Ladies Home Journal. She lives in
New York City.

1622 Worries

Sep. 16, 2003

 

 

Me to J-Law:

anyway....today isn't so bad. But I still wanna go
home. Sweetie got his last UI check last week & seems to
be forgetting (or passive-agressively resisting my
suggestions) to call about getting extended
benefits. So I guess I need to go looking for a PT
evening/weekend gig so we don't lose our house or
have to go begging to our relatives, who don't have any $
either. *sigh* This is really suckin'.

----

J-Law:
*HUG*

Very sorry to hear about Sweetie. I hope his
resistance/forgetfulness is just outward, and he
really is going to look into extended benefits.

It would suck to have to get another job just to
make ends meet. :(

You're not paying on any student loans still, are
you? If so, you can get a forbearance when you're
experiencing financial hardship. Interest still
accrues and alla that, but it's one monthly payment
you don't have to make for a while.
====
Me to J-Law:

Thank goodness I'm done with student loans! That's one
less thing to worry about.

I dunno...I've been wanting to get another job for the
longest time, but as we well know, I don't tend to do
things until I'm *forced* to. So this might be good.
Get a job somewhere where my hard work is actually
*recognized* and *rewarded* or something crazy like
that. Whatta concept.

Oh, did I tell you? When they did the re-org of our
agency, they got _THREE_ people to do [Aunt L]'s job. AND
they put my boss' husband in a position where he is 2
supervisors up from her in the food chain. I thought
this violated anti-nepotism rules BIG TIME, but
apparently they got away with it because he is not her
'direct' supervisor. Just her boss' boss. So much less
abuse of the position can occur that way, don't you
think? feh.

•  

 

1623OH DEAR GHOD

Sep. 16, 2003

 

 

I am sorry. I love you. J[X's daughter] misses you very much.The children and
I all
miss you. Please consider calling me. [xxx xxxx]. I will never quit
trying to
touch base with you, but I won't bother you all the time either. 33
years is
a long time. You won't have to see [M - X's husband].There is alot I want to tell
you.

call when you can.
X
=================
My reply:

Please do not email me at my work address
 

•  

 

1624Re: OH DEAR GHOD

 

Sep. 16, 2003

 

 

me to J-Law:

Just got another email from X at work. WTF is wrong
with my 'inbox assistant'?!? I have it set to delete
if the email is from her. Anyway, here's the latest.
Apparently I am now supposed to do what she & [M - X's husband] did
to me, only this time it'll be X & I ganging up to
demonize [M - X's husband]. Because it's all [M - X's husband]S fault that she
said all those dreadful things to me about how I'm an
unfit role model for her children and how I'm so nasty
& negative, bla bla. What the fuck ever. Hereyago:
------------------------------

I am sorry. I love you. J[] misses you very
much.The children and I all miss you. Please consider
calling me. [xxx xxxx]. I will never quit trying to
touch base with you, but I won't bother you all the
time either. 33 years is a long time. You won't have
to see [M - 's husband]. There is alot I want to tell you.

call when you can.
X
=================
My reply:

Please do not email me at my work address