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Sep. 16, 2003

How To Land That Dream Job!

Special for eDiets
by Hara Estroff Marano

Do you play well with others? If you're a part of the working world,
playing well with others means being a member of a team. It's a key
part of nearly every job description. At the very least, it means
that you can get along in the workplace -- that you have the social
skills to create open, productive relationships with other workers so
that collectively you can all get done what you need to get done.
This may mean writing a research report, inventing a fresh sales
presentation or just keeping a company running day to day.

On a deeper level, being a team player is about managing emotions and
translating them into effective communication. That can be a
difficult task, depending on the work environment, your personality
and the personalities of others on the team. Conventional wisdom says
that we should keep emotions in check when we're at work. Showing
strong feelings is a no-no. We often think being "professional" means
curbing our thoughts and words and conforming to the office norm. But
being a team player requires reading the emotions of others -- the
good, bad and especially the in between. Then you can respond
accordingly in order to accomplish the job before you.

According to researchers from the University of Michigan, squashing
your emotions in the office may be a mistake, especially in today's
diverse, twenty-first century workplaces. Being impersonal and
focusing solely on work can be detrimental to productivity, says
Jeffrey Sanchez-Burks, a psychologist at the University of Michigan
who has studied teamwork styles in different cultures, including the
U.S. "East Asian, Latin American and Middle Eastern cultures tend to
believe that social and emotional relationships are just as important
at work as a relentless focus on the task at hand," Sanchez-Burks
says.

In the U.S. workplace, Sanchez-Burks found, the typical, impersonal
workplace attitude often leads one to miss important cues in
nonverbal communication from colleagues. This view of the proper
workplace behavior seems to be mostly limited to the U.S., according
to the study.

So, how can you show your emotions in a way that is effective? Here
are a few key ideas that industrial psychologists say you should keep
in mind when working as a team.

Flexibility: This is a key trait that successful team players need.
When a project doesn't go as planned, or takes an unexpected turn,
you will have the advantage if you can alter your strategies to deal
with unforeseen circumstances. And in a weak economy, workers who can
adapt to change are more valuable.

Compromise: Learning to funnel many different viewpoints into a plan
of action goes hand in hand with flexibility. It's important to learn
to listen to those on the team, particularly those who don't agree
with you. If you are part of a group, you won't get your way all the
time. Taking into account all viewpoints can make a team stronger and
the result better.

Complimentary Criticism: Do you know how to compliment others? What
about the art of critique? Both can be equally difficult. Be honest,
but also try to be gracious. A little generosity can pave the way for
productive office relationships. Some psychologists suggest
complimenting coworkers and subordinates in public, but criticizing
in private. This also means accepting feedback from others and
letting your defenses down when you listen.

Physical Cues: Some of us grew up learning that direct eye contact
was disrespectful. Others learned the opposite. In the workplace,
body language can be important in conveying that you are not only
listening to a person, but that you are really taking it in. Pay
attention and make sure the other person knows it.

Own Up to It: This one's obvious -- if you make a mistake, you should
acknowledge it. That means not shifting the blame onto others or
making excuses for failure. It takes a mature and strong will, but
it's a great way to build a team. Other members will learn to trust
you and your integrity.

Strong and Weak: It's a common job interview question, "What is your
greatest strength and what's your biggest weakness?" When it comes to
teamwork, it really helps to know the answers. Some people are better
able to communicate in person than in writing. Others are unwilling
to share their expertise with others because of a competitive streak.
Teams are a great concept precisely because contrasting personalities
and skills can complement each other.

Hara Estroff Marano is Editor-At-Large of Psychology Today magazine
and Editor-In-Chief of Psychology Today's Blues Buster, a newsletter
about depression. An award-winning writer on human behavior, Hara's
articles have appeared in publications including the New York Times,
Smithsonian, Family Circle and The Ladies Home Journal. She lives in
New York City.