evile: How is the truck?
SkyeDS: NTB doesn't do ABS apparently, and neither does anyone else
open on Sun, so sineater will drop me at work tomrorow and get them
done. How are you?
evile: Good. Had a totally worthless, lazy kind of day. It was good.
SkyeDS: :)
evile: I didn't go to San Gabriel Park. Just didn't feel like
driving. Next Sunday is soon enough...
SkyeDS: I couldn't have gone to SGP if I had wanted to. besides am
having the worst period in a very long time (just finished my first
pack of the new pills they put me on)
evile: yucko. I'm going to visit with my Dr. at my annual next month
about getting Endometrial Ablation (sp?)...that will be cool. Tired
of the Depo. Suspect it's doing stuff to me...
evile: There's a way, with regular pills, to skip your period, just
don't take the placebos and you won't bleed. I would do that if I was
a pill-gal.
SkyeDS: I wonder if they could remove my heart along with my uterus
with a hysterectemy. No more emotions, no more hormones.
evile: I don't want to get rid of what few natural hormones I may
have left--they'd put me on pig estrogen or some shit. I'd rather
have my own.
SkyeDS: I don't know, maybe I'd be happy to be hormonal if it weren't
tied to emotions
evile: Drs are actually not doing hysterectomies as much as they used
to--they prefer to try other methods that aren't as traumatic to the
body. 50 years ago you could go in with a headache and get a total
plumbing removal.
SkyeDS: I remember (they tried to do that to me)
evile: I wouldn't mind not having a uterus, but my poor little
leftover ovary wants to stay where it is.
evile: I'm idly considering taking a class at UT on 'Emotional
Intelligence'...I think I might do better with the emotions if 1)
they weren't being effected by Depo and 2) I knew how to deal with
them in some constructive fashion rather than shutting them out until
they flatten me with built up intensity
SkyeDS: I would like to try the shutting them out thing
SkyeDS: even though it goes entirely against everything I have always
believed about Love.
evile: Shutting out is effective in short spans, but takes a toll on
eating habits, sleeping habits, work performance, etc. If you care to
pay that price, it's a viable option :)
SkyeDS: I was thinking about the Sweetie principle of "if I ignore it it
will go away" (like his teeth)
evile: Well, eventually he went to a dentist & now he's all fixed &
healthy & stuff.
SkyeDS: I vaguely remember being all fixed and healthy and happy and
stuff...very vaguely.
SkyeDS: now I spend more time pondering taking a nap under a tree and
not waking up, than not.
evile: *shrugs* You didn't get sick & sad in one day, you can't get
fixed and happy in one day, either. Hard to take such small steps it
doesn't even seem like you've moved, but any effort is better than
none.
SkyeDS: the new job, paltry as it is, will help, I think. Sorry,
don't have time to waste on you boys today, I'm working.
SkyeDS: a cycle of nothing but work and sleep would be good for a
while
evile: I suspect there is some atmospheric and/or planetary thing
going on right now: I've seen a lot of people in the dumps right now,
for no discernable reasons other than just taking a good look at
unvarnished reality.
evile: Sorry to hear that the boy/man sitch is unhappy-making. I
always figured that having more than one emotional support/outlet
would be a good thing.
SkyeDS: it is, if you're dealing with mature well adjusted adults (as
there are in Austin Polys I'm sure).
evile: ...I don't know what to tell you. Obviously there is something
in you that is drawn to something in the males you have chosen as
mates . Obviously there is something you need from them that you are
getting. There may be other things you're not getting, but ...these
were your choices. And if they're not fulfilling your needs and
aren't willing to pay attention to your needs, maybe time to thin the
flock...*shrugs*
SkyeDS: I think I came to the thin the flock conclusion about the
time I decided I wanted to kill all men under the age of 50.
SkyeDS: the flock is resistant to the idea of thinning however.
evile: Or maybe time to look inward and see what you are telling
yourself you are settling for/deserve, why you choose people who may
be ultimately unsuitable for you..?
evile: I don't want to be like your mom and say you 'deserve' a man
who hits yo uif you stay with a man who hits you...but you may want
to ask yourself why you think you deserve to be hit (or fill in the
blank for whatever abuse/neglect/distress you are allowing them to
get away with)
SkyeDS: I think they have convinced me that I am an ugly duckling and
can't ever be a swan.
evile: The crap thing about extra hormones (BC, etc.) is that they
can create or merely complicate, issues that are already there. In an
otherwise healthy person, depression is something saying "PAY
ATTENTION DAMMIT!" take away the veils and really look at what you
have and what you want and what is going on.
evile: When you throw extra estrogen or progesterone into the mix, yo
umay just be getting false alarms, or you may be going into a deeper
depression than the situation warrants.
evile: I guess what it boils down to is: Would you really be happier
without them? Probably not, because there's still that voice inside
you saying the stuff about ugly ducklings and making yourself
miserable, and probably choosing a whole new set of unsuitable mates.
SkyeDS: J[MIL] called and knocked me offline
evile: Oh, no problem. Figured it was something like that.
evile: Anyway...I'm sorry you're having a bad time. :(
SkyeDS: eh, I am going to throw myself into work, and ignore them,
and they'll go away maybe.
evile: Or at least they won't be your primary focus for a while.
Without you to solve their problems and whatnot, maybe they'll take
care of themselves.
SkyeDS: you mean they might grow up? <looks doubtful>
evile: BTW, Sweetie suggests pulling the ABS fuse (wherever that is) and
then plugging it back in.
SkyeDS: ask him if pulling the battery and putting it back in counts
as the same thing? and if not, where the ABS fuse is?
evile: Not at all. Battery probably didn't do a darn thing. You can
probably find a fuse diagram either in the manual and/or on the cover
of the fuse box. I think all the fuses are somewhere in the driver's
area, like on the underside of the dash, etc.
evile: There may be fuses under the hood, too. NO idea where they'd
be on your car.
SkyeDS: I am relaying all this to sineater, hopefully there might nto be
a trip to the brakeshop in the am.
evile: It might be wise to have it looked at anyway, even if you can
manage a temporary fix. Your truck thought the wheels were locking up
and that's why it engaged the ABS. No telling when it will decide to
think that again.
SkyeDS: nods, I towed Terwin to Pep boys. It happened after that,
half way home, and I don't remember slamming on the brakes at any
point, not hard.
evile: Which is why it's probably not a quick easy fix, it's probably
the computer or something wacky.
evile: My hair is Black Cherry again, BTW. So, okay, I did *one*
useful productive thing today :P
SkyeDS: :)
evile: Now I will be regretful if I go thru with my birthday shaved
head idea thingy...waste of hairdye!
SkyeDS: you were going to shave your head for your bday?
evile: I was thinking about it. And then freeze-branding something
cool on my scalp. Which I've wanted to do since I was 10-11, but now
would probably be seen as all "Oh, she's all X-men obsessed trendy
girl"
SkyeDS: I would like a Rogue stripe in my hair
SkyeDS: I did that after halloween one year with a can of halloween
hair paint but I got told it made me look like a lopsided skunk
evile: That is what freeze branding does--kills the pigment producing
part of the follicle
evile: Of course, the reason I wanted it when I was 10 is because I
was in to the Xmen...so the trend-deriding people would be right.
evile: I'm thinking of doing a test first on a less visible area
before I actually try it on my scalp...
evile: dang, It's 11 already. I should be getting to bed.
SkyeDS: nods, I should have been over an hour ago.
evile: ICQ just sucks ya in, doesn' it? :P
evile: Well, I"ll let you get to it. *hugs* hope you feel better
soon.
SkyeDS: I haven't completely readjusted my sleep schedule yet. And
now I think I might wait for sineater so we can do the ABS fuse thing.
SkyeDS: <hugs> buona notte e dolci sogni, bella.
evile: take care!
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