EJ May 14 2002

 

 

516 quit the martyr shit

 

• May 14, 2002

   

  Ok, I had mostly decided to ditch PNO last night, cuz Tom was all
  numb from his dental work, and I needed to finish up reading for
  Lesson One in Paralegal Online, but then Elena called and was
  freaking because Fred had stopped by her house. Then she got a beep
  from call waiting & said she'd call me back. So that was the final
  thing, even though I'd mostly decided not to go, the fact that I was
  now waiting for a phone call pretty much clenched it.
  
  She never called me back, of course. She emailed me, which I only got
  because I was finally downloading Andrew's wedding pictures from my
  digital camera and decided to check email as long as I was in there.
  The email said "I'm done freaking about Fred, thanks" or something
  similar.
  
  I wrote back and said I'd been waiting for her call and kind of
  ditched my evening plans in order to get her call, and that I
  wouldn't make that mistake again.
  
  mean. mean mean mean. True, it was a factor in my decision not to go
  out, but not the only factor, to be sure. So what is it about me that
  gets off on feeling martyrly and sacrificing for friendships bla bla?
  I *should* know better than to put my life on hold for others. And,
  really, if it had been important enough to be at PNO, I would have
  been there already.
  
  She sent me an email which I read this a.m. about being sorry for
  not 'honoring' our friendship & hoping I would forgive her. blah.
  
  *sigh* I am so not good at being a friend.
  
  Meleah at work asked me if I wanted them to do anything for my
  birthday. I said 'nah'. Making myself feel bad again. wah wah wah. I
  am such a damn martyr. For no good goddamned reason.
  
  paralegal online:
  I only made a 70 on my Lesson 2 Quiz, and I should be on my first day
  of Lesson 3 by now. *sigh* I will re-read lesson 2 and retake the
  quiz.
  
  Taurus
  Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
  Be aggressive with your thoughts today, dear Taurus. You might be
  feeling a bit emotionally detached, and you will most certainly want
  your freedom. Spend some time alone to sort things out. A lover from
  years ago might pop up on your doorstep, so don't be too surprised at
  their appearance. Take a nonjudgmental attitude toward everything you
  encounter.
  
  Gemini
  Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
  What are you waiting for, dear Gemini? Go for the gold. All you need
  to do is shine. You have the opportunity to merge with powerful
  groups of people, so make sure to keep your head up and your eyes
  open. Do things that will improve your current status in a work-
  related situation. Your sharp wit and endless fount of facts and
  information will come in handy. Have a joke or riddle ready on hand.
  
  

  517May Tithe- Gretna Theatre $50

   

  • May 14, 2002

     

    Went to the PO at lunch time, mailed mom's script back to her &
    mailed Gretna theatre a money order for $50, anonymously.
    
    I forgot to use the envelope I'd already addressed. Ah well.
    Anyhoo...it's off. Z. Budapest's Grandmother of Time says that today
    was a day when the wealthy would tithe to Isis in thanks for their
    fortunes. Gretna's not much Egyptian, but is very goddess-energy
    saturated. All the trees & curving walks, nature & not many
    mechanical noises. Feminine. Powerful. Beautiful. So...Mt. Gretna, a
    dwelling place of Isis. May my donation be used to do the most good.
    
    June will be a donation to the Gazela, not anonymously. May and June
    are sweetie months. June 3 will be the 7th anniversary of our 1st date :) Time flies.