254 Maybe for diaryland, maybe for nonBP nook, maybe just for here

 

 

• Jan. 18, 2002

   

  Well, I continued _The Dance of Deception_ yesterday on the bus, and
  a big lightbulb went off--Truth and Honesty are things I claim to
  value highly, but now I find that I don't necessarily use them for
  the right reasons or do the right things with my 'truth'
  and 'honesty'. Like the nasty mom in that movie with John Candy &
  Ally Sheedy who just "tells it like it is" and offends everyone. I
  was pretty repelled by her abrasive meanness, and now I've turned the
  spotlight on myself and realized that I do that too. For someone
  else's "own good" For the sake of being "honest" with my thoughts and
  feelings. To be self righteous and prove that I'm right. Being right
  is more important than being understood and understanding the other.
  Not good.
  
  Truth is something that should be told, yes. But Lerner's book says
  it's more important to pick the time and place and choose your words
  carefully, to enable the person you are being honest with to build on
  your words instead of battering them with truthful, honest, hurtful
  words that shut them down.
  
  Honesty should be used to open a relationship, to create connections.
  
  If there is not a positive result to be gained from your truth, if
  all you want to do is get attention or shut somebody up or tell
  somebody off, hold back and wait until you can say your truth with
  love, caring, tact...to build the relationship and create the
  possibility of more truth, more love, more honesty.
  
  Otherwise, I am just hiding behind Truth and Honesty and using them
  as excuses to be mean and ugly and hurtful. No good.

256 finches

 

 

• Jan. 18, 2002

   

  After reading up on finches, looking at pictures, etc.
  
  I want a small aviary. I am thinking of building something right
  outside the master bathroom window, at eye level with the window, a
  horizontal space because finches go back and forth rather than flying
  up and down.
  
  I want owl finches,
  strawberry finches,
  
  society finches, 
  
  spice
  finches,
  and cordon bleu finches. 
  
  The Cordon bleus are the prettiest. I should probably start with
  society finches and gradually work my way up....
  
  Of course, this is all far in the future, when I can build the aviary
  and make sure I know what I'm doing as far as animal care.