Where I part from the Usual Error

[evile]

I think a majority of what humans call 'communication' is actually threat-display, vying for dominance, and other forms of establishing hierarchy. Not actually "I want you and I to understand each other as equals," but "I want you to understand and respect that I am stronger/smarter/better than you, and here's why. Just sayin'"

And, as kulilinei has pointed out so adroitly in the past, a lot of pretty words are merely camouflage for someones' true self and/or true intent. Either due to not feeling strong and smart enough by just using your own words or knowing that you can't get close enough to your prey if you appear as dangerous as you really are. So you put on your Ghandi quotes and your 'just sayin'' until you are close enough to strike that vein and get what you want from your intended victims. (And, as the Usual Error chapter points out, if you call someone on their "Just sayin'" then you are usually the one who is perceived as a big meanie poopyhaid, because so-and-so was 'just sayin'...so they're the victim for 'just sayin')

We can't make the mistake of assuming that every other human-appearing thing out there is actually a human being with similar wants, needs, desires for love, respect, and understanding. Some two-legs out there are toxic predators and get their feelings of happiness, safety & well-being from making sure that others' feelings of happiness, safety, and well-being are well and truly destroyed.

*shrug*

But then again I'm in a dark place today, and you may take my words with as much salt as needed.

Comments

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

meh...I've lost friends over this and probably will again, but I don't see friendship as eternally blowing sunshine up someone's ass, or telling them they're doing a GREAT job at life when they make shitty decisions [such as continuing in an abusive relationship, or continuing in addictive behaviors]...I see calling people on their shit as a loving, caring thing to do.

I also don't see a need to do that in a harsh or unkind way. I use 'teasing' a lot for that sort of thing, whether that's good or not, I don't really know.

One thing I think I have learned is that there's often a better time or place than here/now to bring up things like that, and that it's often best to mention it once and not bring it up constantly.

The "just sayin'" or 'sharing helpful quotes in public'//projecting a persona rather than being real ...well, I see those things as either abject insecurity & fear that if the person is authentic they'll be rejected, or cowardly attacks & deliberately hurtful digs. Basically, I get the idea that these 'just sayin's are not meant to be helpful or caring, but a threat/dominance display.

Basically 'just sayin' is saying something ugly in such a way that if you call them on being cowardly and/or deliberately hurtful, it will make YOU look bad, so they get to keep on taking mean spirited pot shots at their leisure and there's NOTHING you can do about it that won't make you look bad.

I find that repulsive.