thought for the day...

[evile]

spurred by an entry by kulilinei

"Oh, I can't talk to _____, they're not ______[christian, pagan, sharing my belief system.]"

change to

I CAN talk to them. I CAN work with them. I CAN achieve understanding and rapport. Because I AM [christian, pagan, living my life according to my belief system.]

My interactions aren't about controlling the other person, or making them think and believe as I do.

If I am working to be in alignment with my best thoughts, my most open heart, my best 'me'...I can talk with or work with ANYONE.

Just by giving up judgement and giving up needing or expecting them to behave a certain way.


Is this naive or foolish?

or is this me thinking & acting from LOVE rather than FEAR, as I've wanted to do & been trying to do for a long time now?

hm.

Comments

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

That is awesome. Thanks for sharing. :-)

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

I struggle between being too-cynical and too foolishly trusting...

I still think there *are* toxic and malicious people out there, who are best avoided if possible.

But I still think it's best for me & everyone else if I refrain from judgement or attempts at controlling.

If nothing else, if I don't get into ego-contests or struggles for control with the toxic people, they'll get bored and go away. Right? Hopefully, anyway....

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

I still think there *are* toxic and malicious people out there, who are best avoided if possible.

Well, damn skippy. I've struggled with getting that concept across to people who, luckily, have never really suffered at the hands of such a person. It's definitely true.

I've jokingly nicknamed myself "Bitter Jaded Old Hag(TM)", just in acknowledgment of the fact that my past experiences definitely colour how I deal with my present, and that it can often be very difficult to look for the positive side when you've known different.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

But the fact is, you *do* deal with things from a more-or-less positive frame of mind...I mean, you're not stupid. You keep your wits about you and do what you need to do to feel safe, but you don't let other people keep you from being yourself and doing the best job of being you as you can...

You don't say "I can't talk to that guy because he's kinky." or "I can't talk to that girl becasue she's straight" or whatever...You are who you are, and I think you're pretty open to others even if they don't share all of your beliefs and practices, you don't cut people out completely or put demands on them to behave a certain way just because that's how YOU choose to behave.

I dont' think it's wrong to be cautious or reserved in dealing with new people...I just think it's best to be in charge of who and what YOU are and not worry too much about who and what other people are...unless, of course, they show themselves to be toxic! In which case, that still shouldn't stop you from being YOU, but just encourage you to go be you somewhere far from THEM!

Maybe I'm just going round in circles here...I see the point I'm trying to get to, but can't get there from here :P

totally OT

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

After like, three years here, I finally just met hojo_loves_you face to face for the first time, in the hallway. Hah!

Re: totally OT

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

Yay! Isn't Hojo cool? :)

Re: totally OT

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

Indeed! And I hear Undersoul is playing on the 29th. :-)

Re: totally OT

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

Yep, at 710(?) or some place like that, basically right next door to Headhunters and sort of across the street from Red Eyed Fly where they played earlier this month & will be playing again in July.

You comin' out?

Re: totally OT

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

There's some stuff going down next weekend that means that I need to play it by ear, but it's on the "strongly considered" list. :-)

[colorbars.livejournal.com]

If nothing else, if I don't get into ego-contests or struggles for control with the toxic people, they'll get bored and go away. Right?

Generally, I don't think so. The normal ones will go away. Those you don't care much about. It's the particularly bad ones (psychotic, neurotic, or just plain nuts) that won't and THOSE are the ones you have to worry about.

My 2 cents.

[red-tanya.livejournal.com]

it's not naive or foolish. (*HUG*) yay for you!

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's a lot clearer in my head than I'm getting into words...but it's a good feeling, nevertheless :)

Belief systems can come between good people...

[arthurthedented.livejournal.com]

the NATURE of the person is generally more important than thier supposed belief system. those systems can (unfortunately) make good people reluctantly and sheepishly go along with bad things and perhaps in thier GOOD ways they mildly restrain bad people from doing thier worst in public... but in personal dealing I suspect the PERSON counts a whole lot more than which "holy book"/Mythology they subscribe to.

Some folk are mad, bad , dangerous and not to be dealt with regardless of what color sheepskin they wear... on the other end of the spectrum , I once upon a time was friends with a kind considerate , funny guy who thought he was a Neo Nazi (we were both highschool age and he pretty quickly grew out of it)

the only exception I personally know is satanists... when someone voluntarily chooses that label for themselve, run, dont walk away. oh and a couple of folks calling themselves Discordian's have been particularly sharp knives in my spine over the years too.

Re: Belief systems can come between good people...

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

I think I'm going to go ahead and let it be their problem, if the other person would rather value their own belief system and hold on to what they think I 'should' be and do.

I know a lot of people are not what they say they are, nor do they follow the belief system they profess to follow, rather choosing to adopt the buzzwords of a faith or culture and use those words to go on engaging in toxic behavior...

But that's not me.

Re: Belief systems can come between good people...

[arthurthedented.livejournal.com]

Thats so very very much *not* you indeed :)

How I SHOULD have said that is

I AGREE. what you say is true its the people that matter, not the 'belief systems'.. good people, left to thier own could get along just fine.

I do note the exceptions where I've found someone self choosing that lable was pretty much a screaming warning in itself...

[lynnivere.livejournal.com]

I love that! Moving forward on a positive instead of a negative is always productive. Heck.. Moving forward on neutral is still better than starting in the deficit of negativity.

Thanks for posting this!

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

You're welcome :)

So much of life is what we choose to focus on and how we choose to react. I knew that once and I'm re-learning it now :)

Life is good.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

&, just by way of letting me know that I'm maybe on the right track, this week's Kabbalah Tune UP is:

http://view.exacttarget.com/?j=fe54157675610d787d1d&m=fef015747c6d0c&ls=fdfa10777364067c77177871&l=fec212727d6d077c&s=fdf915717462027a70177875&ju=fe2f157977600479761273

followed by my daily Hazelden email:

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Man can live his truth, his deepest truth, but cannot speak it.
--Archibald. MacLeish

Many of us have lived double lives. There were public selves whom others knew, and private selves whom no one met. It was a compulsive world, and both sides were false. Many of us grew up in addicted families and learned this double life early by hiding from outsiders what life was really like at home.

In this program we learn to live our truth before we can speak it. It is more in our actions than in what we say. We may never know the words for this truth because we do not consciously invent it. It comes to us quietly over time and slowly merges all our parts. Gradually we begin to feel whole again as we surrender our double lives for single, truthful ones.

Let me have the trust to give myself to the work of recovery and follow it where it takes me.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

Touchstones. Copyright 1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of Hazelden.

So, yeah. I think I've hit on something here.

[made-of-paradox.livejournal.com]

So, "I can talk to this person, regardless of belief, and still maintain my integrity"?