Being a person I can respect

[evile]

Good name in man and woman, dear my lord,
Is the immediate jewel of their souls:
Who steals my purse steals trash; 'tis something, nothing;
'Twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands:
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him
And makes me poor indeed.

==William Shakespeare, Othello


It just keeps coming up...in my own life as well as in those around me. Reputation. Character. Good Name. Looking through my life and my possessions, it's all I really own. It's all that will be left of me when I'm gone (well, ok, maybe a cornea or a kidney or something, too, but that's too literal for this post)

I may not always do the right thing according to conventional morality or YOUR morality (whoever you are reading this right now), but I always try to do the thing that allows me to be the person I think I am, a person I can respect, the best possible "me".

Being a person I can respect is important to me. I keep my word even when it hurts. I tell the truth when it needs telling, even when THAT hurts. I am trying to learn better discernment on when the truth needs telling and when to just shut up. Given a choice between unnecessary hurtful truth, a lie and silence, I will take silence. Don't push me when I'm being quiet. Really, don't.

I try very hard to be respectful of others, even if I believe they are stupid, shallow, misinformed, blind, mentally ill, or otherwise impaired in their judgements. If someone is saying or doing something wrong and stupid and the only person it's hurting is themselves*, I have learned from bitter experience to leave them to it.

I've also learned that being respectful to myself and others is far more likely to gain others' respect than any amount of hot air, puffery, or self-aggrandizement. I try to keep my words and behavior in agreement with one another. People will observe my actions far more than they will hear my words: If you say you are a person of honor and then behave dishonorably, others will believe that you are dishonorable no matter how many pretty words you use to try and justify poor behavior.

Likewise, there is no need to talk badly about anyone; their own words and actions will show their character without any assistance from you and it just makes you look low and petty. There is no reason to give a person you don't care for any of your time and energy by talking about them. Let them be.

It seems like a good time to refamiliarize myself with The Four Agreements:

Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Don’t Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

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*otoh, if someone's actions or words are hurting someone I care about, all bets are off. I'm NOT a saint.

Comments

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

you're welcome. Hope it helps!