I am asking for, and giving, Honesty:

[evile]

Over the Xmas holidays (which, are, unfortunately, often a time of big stress in addition to being full of the good things & people we love at this time of year), my stepbrother sineater and I had a falling out, which has led him and his wife skye_ds to remove me from their Livejournal "friends" lists.

I just want to assure all of our mutual friends that I will do my best to minimize the drama; I will not talk smack and I will not ask or expect anyone to take sides or deliver ultimatums of any sort. Sineater and Skye have many admirable qualities, and many flaws, as do I. Unfortunately, with the family history being what it is, and personalities being what they are, this is probably for the best.

It is not my intention to create discomfort among our mutual friends in LiveJournal or in Real Life.

If anyone has any questions or comments about this, you may leave them here. I am screening all comments [mostly to preclude nastiness but also] in case you'd rather leave your question or comment with an email address, if you have something to be discussed further. Anonymous comments are also allowed.

This will NOT be a forum for trashing me or Sineater or Skye_ds, and I will not participate in such. I just would rather have this out in the open and openly discussed rather than have it taint friendships or needlessly harm people who I, Sineater and Skye_ds, all share respect and caring for.

Comments

so...what happened?

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

Someone asked "what happened."

I decided to have a party at my house. I decided not to invite Sineater and Skye_ds. I was under the impression that they'd be out of town visiting her folks, anyway, and I IM'ed her (because she was online and he wasn't) earlier in the week and had that impression rather confirmed. So I planned my party and didn't mention it to them and figured everything would be OK

Then Sineater called Thursday "just to say hi" (which he rarely does. Seriously, I've heard from him maybe twice in the entire span of 2006) and we chatted a bit and he asked me if I had anything interesting going on, and I said 'no' and we wished each other happy holidays, and rang off.

A few minutes later he called again and asked me point-blank if I was having a party Friday. I lied and said 'no'. I immediately felt bad about lying. I knew that he already knew about the party and figured he was calling to fish for an invite, and I lied anyway.

It's my house, and I can invite or not invite anyone I want to my home. So I had every right not to invite them. BUT It was not right for me to lie to Sineater. Out of all the options I thought I had, I picked the option I felt had least potential for unpleasantness. And I should have just been honest and then at least the unpleasantness could have stemmed from honesty rather than lying.

So, there's what happened. I lied, it was wrong, I regret it.

Re: so...what happened?

[oracle-tx.livejournal.com]

Well, here's hoping that next time your honesty is quicker than your tongue, and they realize that it happens to everybody sometimes, forgiving you when they can. Now if only my shut-the-hell-up was quicker than my teeth, I wouldn't have bite marks on my tongue!

I have a feeling it will shake loose and be resolved eventually, but it will take a while. I wish you, sineater, and skye_ds peace and space to ponder until it does.

Re: so...what happened?

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

Thanks. You are definitely one of the mutual friends that was high on my 'worry list' of how this might effect you. I just don't want you to ever feel uncomfortable around them because you're friends with me, or uncomfortable around me because you're friends with them. I don't want you to feel pressured to choose loyalties, or whatever. But I know you are very good at limiting drama, being honest, keeping your boundaries straight, etc. So...that's all good.

Thank you for the kind words. I appreciate your friendship.