Aphorisms To Break An Addiction By
Sep. 5th, 2006 07:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evileAnother library visit has added some more information for the anti-abuse resources I've been collecting & posting in my LJ:
From:
How To Break Your Addiction To A Person by Howard M. Halpern
We have seen how you may maintain a battery of unfounded Beliefs, rationalizations, false hopes, and other self-deceptive ploys, that can enable you to keep your addiction going despite the pain and despite the fact that, on another level, you may know better.
....
It might be helpful to take from this list the ones that you need most to help you counteract the ways of thinking that are keeping you stuck.
ADDICTION-BREAKING APHORISMS
1. You can live without him/her (probably better).
2. Love is not enough (to make a good love relationship).
3. Limerence is not enough.
4. A love relationship is mutual and helps each partner feel better about himself, not worse.
5. Guilt is not reason enough to stay.
6. You don't have to love someone to be addicted to him.
7. Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you love him; you can be jealous of someone you can't stand.'
8. What you see is what you get, so stop hanging on to the Belief you can change the other person.
9. Love doesn't necessarily last forever.
10. You can't always work it out, no matter how much you may want to.
11. Some people die of bad relationships. Do you want to be one of them?
12. If someone says, "I don't want to be tied down," "I'm not ready for a relationship," "I'm not going to leave my spouse," etc., believe him.
13. Half a loaf isn't better than none.
14. He/she doesnt' have to love you.
15. It doesn't have to get better.
16. The pain of ending it won't last forever. In fact, it won't last nearly as long as the pain of not ending it.
17. If it will be the same way five or ten years from now, do you want it?
18. There will be anxiety, loneliness, depression when you end it, but these feelings will last for only a limited amount of time and then will stop.
19. You won't be alone forever; that's thinking in Infant Time.
20. It's never too late to make a change; the longer you wait, the more time wasted.
21. The intensity of your withdrawal symptoms does not indicate the strength of your love but the strength of your addiction.
22. You are a whole and valuable person apart from that relationship.
23. When you feel inadequate, incomplete, or worthless apart from him/her, childhood feelings are taking over.
24. He/she is not the "one and only."
25. If you end this bad relationship, you will be opening your life to new possibilities.
From:
How To Break Your Addiction To A Person by Howard M. Halpern
We have seen how you may maintain a battery of unfounded Beliefs, rationalizations, false hopes, and other self-deceptive ploys, that can enable you to keep your addiction going despite the pain and despite the fact that, on another level, you may know better.
....
It might be helpful to take from this list the ones that you need most to help you counteract the ways of thinking that are keeping you stuck.
1. You can live without him/her (probably better).
2. Love is not enough (to make a good love relationship).
3. Limerence is not enough.
4. A love relationship is mutual and helps each partner feel better about himself, not worse.
5. Guilt is not reason enough to stay.
6. You don't have to love someone to be addicted to him.
7. Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you love him; you can be jealous of someone you can't stand.'
8. What you see is what you get, so stop hanging on to the Belief you can change the other person.
9. Love doesn't necessarily last forever.
10. You can't always work it out, no matter how much you may want to.
11. Some people die of bad relationships. Do you want to be one of them?
12. If someone says, "I don't want to be tied down," "I'm not ready for a relationship," "I'm not going to leave my spouse," etc., believe him.
13. Half a loaf isn't better than none.
14. He/she doesnt' have to love you.
15. It doesn't have to get better.
16. The pain of ending it won't last forever. In fact, it won't last nearly as long as the pain of not ending it.
17. If it will be the same way five or ten years from now, do you want it?
18. There will be anxiety, loneliness, depression when you end it, but these feelings will last for only a limited amount of time and then will stop.
19. You won't be alone forever; that's thinking in Infant Time.
20. It's never too late to make a change; the longer you wait, the more time wasted.
21. The intensity of your withdrawal symptoms does not indicate the strength of your love but the strength of your addiction.
22. You are a whole and valuable person apart from that relationship.
23. When you feel inadequate, incomplete, or worthless apart from him/her, childhood feelings are taking over.
24. He/she is not the "one and only."
25. If you end this bad relationship, you will be opening your life to new possibilities.
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 01:58 pm (UTC)*hugs*
Date: 2006-09-05 02:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 02:00 pm (UTC)yeah
Date: 2006-09-05 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 02:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 02:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 06:16 pm (UTC)Austin has a wonderful resource for dealing with the break-up of significant relationships in the Divorce & Family Resource Center and their workshop When Your Relationship Ends.
cool
Date: 2006-09-06 01:30 am (UTC)