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evileWell, I turn 55 next week. My aunt L. wants to take us to dinner to celebrate and I have to pick a place. I am just not feelin' it but I guess I need to pick *something*. bleh.
Mom is with sister H. at her house in Bloomington, IN. Mom spends most of her time asleep, eating little, is starting to see people who arent' there ("Granny"? None of her grandmothers were called 'granny' as far as I know. but...?) She may pass soon. Not to be cruel or unfeeling but she's been ready for a while, and tried in 2022 or was it 2023? anyway. I just want her to be at peace.
Mothers day is always a reminder that she didn't have the life she wanted, the love she wanted, or the accomplishments she wanted, largely due to having children. Me, mostly, I guess, the start of her disappointments in life. Abortion was illegal when I was conceived. I don't think I'll ever forget or forgive a system that robbed a woman of her life and autonomy and forced her to parent a child she and her partner didn't want to have and into trying to force a life together, a partnership that was unsuited to both of them. They did their best and maybe at some point decided that it was OK to have me, maybe even that they wanted and liked me...but it wasn't their choice. It was forced on them by the fucking government. So happy belated Mother's day, I guess. Glad and grateful for my fucked up reproductive system and getting sterilized at age 34 so I didn't have to do the same.
Still job hunting.
Our friend S. has settled in to the front room/tent room with her two cats. Her dog has run of the house. The dogs got the door open once and chased one of the cats into the work/computer room where she hid in the corner until my brother A. could get under there and get her out. It was a stressful mess. S. wanted to just leave the cat's bed and some treats in the room until the cat chose to come out but I was thinking "OK, but where is it going to piss/shit???" so for me, it wasn't an option to leave the cat in my work room until it felt like coming out. S is being a good guest, spending a lot of time resting and watching tv/movies in her room. Her dog is getting along well with our dogs and has enjoyed joining our walk routine. S. occasionally comes out and does marathon talking but it's more movies and trivia now than the first days of trauma-dumping about her childhood and stuff. She's been alone in her house for a year since her husband died; I'm trying to give her as much patience and kindness as I can manage. I can't imagine losing everyone and everything that matters to you in one fell swoop like she has.
It's gotten hot this week so we've been walking after supper instead of before.
My knees, back, left heel, and ankles are in pain just about all of the time now. I wear 'incrediwear' knee and ankle supports to bed for healing; I generally do wake up feeling more OK ish than when I dont' wear them to bed.
I've lost about 5 lbs in the last couple months. only 100+ more to go!LOLOLOLOL. not gonna happen.but I know that a great deal of my discomfort is due to carrying too much weight.
Our house is having plumbing issues. got a quote for 10K to fix it. The PVC piping used originally is not to current spec, it is weakening and sort of sagging. It's more of a flattened 0 shape rather than a round circle and will continue to collapse and crack until it's not useable and nothing goes through. Part of the driveway needs to be dug up and repoured as well. Thax wants to get a couple more quotes before we make a decision but I suspect the work will need to be done sooner rather than later.
Anyhoo...
Boheme: Bohème is lightly sweet, deep, warm, and unisex. It starts with labdanum, cinnamon, and toffee, and transforms into leather and a bit of smoldering pipe tobacco hovering above that perfect glass of bourbon. The drydown is a honied musk that is just delicious.
Holiday: The warm, honied musk of sun-kissed skin on a tropical beach. Solar and warm, subtle sweetness balanced with a warm hum of toasted coconut and spiced rum.
Le Cirque: A riot of dark chocolate-covered espresso beans, toasted sugarcane, Mysore sandalwood, Haitian vetiver, and a puff off a Cuban cigar. This is a conversation over a late-night espresso that you never want to end. It is so fun, so rich, and entirely sexy.
Sirius : This is the sweetest Guatemalan cardamom, rare ruh khus vetiver, black keemun tea oil, and vanilla absolute from madagascar. Unisex and versatile, it starts bright and spicy and dries down into a warm, sweet, and rich woody musk. An olfactory cashmere sweater: warm, soft, a constant favorite.
Mom is with sister H. at her house in Bloomington, IN. Mom spends most of her time asleep, eating little, is starting to see people who arent' there ("Granny"? None of her grandmothers were called 'granny' as far as I know. but...?) She may pass soon. Not to be cruel or unfeeling but she's been ready for a while, and tried in 2022 or was it 2023? anyway. I just want her to be at peace.
Mothers day is always a reminder that she didn't have the life she wanted, the love she wanted, or the accomplishments she wanted, largely due to having children. Me, mostly, I guess, the start of her disappointments in life. Abortion was illegal when I was conceived. I don't think I'll ever forget or forgive a system that robbed a woman of her life and autonomy and forced her to parent a child she and her partner didn't want to have and into trying to force a life together, a partnership that was unsuited to both of them. They did their best and maybe at some point decided that it was OK to have me, maybe even that they wanted and liked me...but it wasn't their choice. It was forced on them by the fucking government. So happy belated Mother's day, I guess. Glad and grateful for my fucked up reproductive system and getting sterilized at age 34 so I didn't have to do the same.
Still job hunting.
Our friend S. has settled in to the front room/tent room with her two cats. Her dog has run of the house. The dogs got the door open once and chased one of the cats into the work/computer room where she hid in the corner until my brother A. could get under there and get her out. It was a stressful mess. S. wanted to just leave the cat's bed and some treats in the room until the cat chose to come out but I was thinking "OK, but where is it going to piss/shit???" so for me, it wasn't an option to leave the cat in my work room until it felt like coming out. S is being a good guest, spending a lot of time resting and watching tv/movies in her room. Her dog is getting along well with our dogs and has enjoyed joining our walk routine. S. occasionally comes out and does marathon talking but it's more movies and trivia now than the first days of trauma-dumping about her childhood and stuff. She's been alone in her house for a year since her husband died; I'm trying to give her as much patience and kindness as I can manage. I can't imagine losing everyone and everything that matters to you in one fell swoop like she has.
It's gotten hot this week so we've been walking after supper instead of before.
My knees, back, left heel, and ankles are in pain just about all of the time now. I wear 'incrediwear' knee and ankle supports to bed for healing; I generally do wake up feeling more OK ish than when I dont' wear them to bed.
I've lost about 5 lbs in the last couple months. only 100+ more to go!LOLOLOLOL. not gonna happen.but I know that a great deal of my discomfort is due to carrying too much weight.
Our house is having plumbing issues. got a quote for 10K to fix it. The PVC piping used originally is not to current spec, it is weakening and sort of sagging. It's more of a flattened 0 shape rather than a round circle and will continue to collapse and crack until it's not useable and nothing goes through. Part of the driveway needs to be dug up and repoured as well. Thax wants to get a couple more quotes before we make a decision but I suspect the work will need to be done sooner rather than later.
Anyhoo...
turns out that the position I was offered FT/Permanent in Feb (and turned down due to already accepting the 6 month remote contract that ended early, and had been beating myself up over endlessly bla bla ) was 'sunsetted' just after the 6 week training period was over. The options were to apply for other positions at the company, accept transfer to Accounts Receivable and after a 3 week 'try out' period, either be accepted full time in AR, or get a severance.
So I guess I'm glad I didn't go thru all that. I would have had some bux in the bank after 6 weeks of that fat salary but not enough to really justify or make up for being jerked around and played like that.
The job hunt continues and the data analyst course continues as well. onward.
S. suggests I offer dogsitting for a couple of extra dogs and take cash as my next career....It's tempting but our backyard really isn't secure.
For my birthday/just cuz, I'm going to order a sample set from Maison des Animaux.
Aurate: This is the classic amber. Sandalwood drenched, labdanum rich, vanilla sweetened. The most golden of gold fragrances.S. suggests I offer dogsitting for a couple of extra dogs and take cash as my next career....It's tempting but our backyard really isn't secure.
For my birthday/just cuz, I'm going to order a sample set from Maison des Animaux.
Boheme: Bohème is lightly sweet, deep, warm, and unisex. It starts with labdanum, cinnamon, and toffee, and transforms into leather and a bit of smoldering pipe tobacco hovering above that perfect glass of bourbon. The drydown is a honied musk that is just delicious.
Holiday: The warm, honied musk of sun-kissed skin on a tropical beach. Solar and warm, subtle sweetness balanced with a warm hum of toasted coconut and spiced rum.
Le Cirque: A riot of dark chocolate-covered espresso beans, toasted sugarcane, Mysore sandalwood, Haitian vetiver, and a puff off a Cuban cigar. This is a conversation over a late-night espresso that you never want to end. It is so fun, so rich, and entirely sexy.
Sirius : This is the sweetest Guatemalan cardamom, rare ruh khus vetiver, black keemun tea oil, and vanilla absolute from madagascar. Unisex and versatile, it starts bright and spicy and dries down into a warm, sweet, and rich woody musk. An olfactory cashmere sweater: warm, soft, a constant favorite.
