Mistakes Were Made.
Mar. 19th, 2025 08:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evileSo, I committed to this temp contract 2/18 (believing that the permanent job I'd interviewed for was rescinded, having been told by my temp agency that the only thing available at the old place was another 6 month contract, which would require another interview) and then I got a permanent offer 2/25 and for whatever reason, I felt a sense of loyalty to the temp contract and felt like I needed to keep my word. (why? I dunno.)
And I've been feeling like I closed that door to the last place forever. I mean, it was a bad choice but I don't think I actually burned any bridges (?) so I think when I get close to or at the end of this contract I'll reach back out to the agency that placed me at my previous contract where I got the belated permanent offer and see if they have anything at that same place, maybe do another 6 months in contract and see if it goes 'contract to hire' like the last one said it might. get back in the door over there and try again. maybe. I am finishing data analyst bootcamp. And who knows we may all go up in nuclear fire before then so I won't have to worry about it or work anymore.
I am trying to find a way to give myself permission and be OK with 'not keeping my word' when a situation comes up where I make an initial decision/give my word based on incomplete or bad information. I am trying to find a way to be OK with changing my mind and disappointing people when or if something happens that offers me a better option for *myself*. I mean, why on earth did I have more loyalty and care for my temp agency recruiter than i did for my own future and finances and peace of mind?
the temp remote contract is cool because it's remote and so far easy. the money compared to the money I was making at the previous 6 month 'temp to hire' remote/hybrid is better when you think about the 3+ hrs week unpaid commute, gas, vehicle wear and tear.
*if* I had taken the full time permanent offer, the money was very good. but it was 6 weeks of in office and then back to the 3 days in office hybrid schedule. It was business casual wardrobe requirements. It was a corporate culture that was ...inauthentic feeling, to me. (but wouldn't that be the case with *any* job? There's masking and faking in any workplace environment, but I didn't ever feel like I had to do anything that was absolutely distasteful or unethical)
Anyway.....I'm going to stick this contract out because I've committed to it and it should be pretty easy work once it gets going. and work on data analyst bootcamp. (having discovered in research that I *should* have asked the instructor/owner what his students' completion rate was, having found that only about 15% of people finish one of these things)... anyway....mistakes are always being made. It's not the end of the world until Donald Fucking Trump tanks the economy and kills us all...Until then I have to keep making that dog food money.
I am trying to find a way to give myself permission and be OK with 'not keeping my word' when a situation comes up where I make an initial decision/give my word based on incomplete or bad information. I am trying to find a way to be OK with changing my mind and disappointing people when or if something happens that offers me a better option for *myself*. I mean, why on earth did I have more loyalty and care for my temp agency recruiter than i did for my own future and finances and peace of mind?
the temp remote contract is cool because it's remote and so far easy. the money compared to the money I was making at the previous 6 month 'temp to hire' remote/hybrid is better when you think about the 3+ hrs week unpaid commute, gas, vehicle wear and tear.
*if* I had taken the full time permanent offer, the money was very good. but it was 6 weeks of in office and then back to the 3 days in office hybrid schedule. It was business casual wardrobe requirements. It was a corporate culture that was ...inauthentic feeling, to me. (but wouldn't that be the case with *any* job? There's masking and faking in any workplace environment, but I didn't ever feel like I had to do anything that was absolutely distasteful or unethical)
Anyway.....I'm going to stick this contract out because I've committed to it and it should be pretty easy work once it gets going. and work on data analyst bootcamp. (having discovered in research that I *should* have asked the instructor/owner what his students' completion rate was, having found that only about 15% of people finish one of these things)... anyway....mistakes are always being made. It's not the end of the world until Donald Fucking Trump tanks the economy and kills us all...Until then I have to keep making that dog food money.
