evile

Sep. 10, 2004

evile: TGIF!!
SkyeDS: amen, sister, even if my parents are coming and the house
looks like shit and I don't trust sonar0m to get it clean or anywhere
near, in time
evile: *hugs* you'll get through this :)
SkyeDS: the next time someone tells me to get my priorities straight
SkyeDS: I'm going to politely point out that teh Golden Son has NOT
been told to get HIS priorities straight
SkyeDS: he knew he hated Georgia BEFORE h e got married and had 3
kids there
SkyeDS: and now he won't parent his 3 kids because he hates GA so
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: so no more lectures about my priorities please
SkyeDS: my prioritization problems are minor comparatively
SkyeDS: and that, should be the end of that conversation
evile: hope so.
SkyeDS: and if anyone finds that hurtful perhaps they'll stop
lecturing me about priorities
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: at least my lack of priorities hurts no one but myself (and I
haven't hurt myself, yet, or otherwise, I would have already made
changes, n'est-ce pas?)
evile: Well, the key is that they are YOUR priorities, not your
parents. it's YOUR life and YOUR choice how to spend your
time/money/energy.
SkyeDS: amen
evile: I think they are making some kind of assumption that since
they are contributing to your home, they can make decisions on when
and how things get done there. lots of strings on them little gifties.
SkyeDS: unasked for gifties
SkyeDS: all brought about because I asked if I should invest in a new
vs a used tractor
evile: sure, but...since you accepted them, there is the string.
evile: A string which you don't have to accept.
SkyeDS: they don't bother asking, they just do
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: "we're coming down Friday, is that ok?"
SkyeDS: in tone that says, it better be ok
SkyeDS: as opposed to, would it be ok if we made plans to come Friday?
evile: The N word...learn it, live it, use it.
SkyeDS: by the time they announce they're coming, I can tell plans
have already been made, and if I throw a monkey wrench in, shame on me
evile: If a no-win situation is set up for you, regardless, why not
use the N word more often?
SkyeDS: thanks to the live journal, they ought to know when it isn't
ok, even though they never bother asking BEFORE planning
evile: You gave them your LJ url? eeps.
SkyeDS: yep, and I'm glad I did
evile: Oh. Ok then.
SkyeDS: I can friends-only what I don't want them to see
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and this way I circumvent the usual
SkyeDS: which is that they make plans
SkyeDS: without asking me first
SkyeDS: so then I say No, I've got commitments
SkyeDS: that I cannot/willnot rearrange
SkyeDS: and then bad, shame on me, it's all my fault
SkyeDS: I'm being "difficult" again
SkyeDS: if you're not going to ask me before you make plans to travel
320 miles, stay in a hotel 3 days, whatever
SkyeDS: then you have no excuse because I posted for you and everyone
else that I wasn't going to be here for whatever reason
evile: ugh. no way to win with those people, is there?
SkyeDS: all I have to say is it must be nice to be retired and have
all that time on your hands
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: see, if you'd call me BEFORE you took time off, BEFORE you
made reservations, BEFORE you were in travel gear, I'd tell you, no,
this isn't a good time
SkyeDS: but if you don't call me until after you've done all that
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and then you make me feel like shit for saying no
SkyeDS: then I do things like publish my schedule
SkyeDS: and then you don't get to play that game anymore
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I appreciate all the help, truly I do. But I'm busy. And I
can't always drop everything on the drop of a dime. I'm sorry.
evile: You are not being unreasonable, despite whatever they may be
trying to make you feel.
SkyeDS: Developing the Ranch, and developing the ranch business, on
top of a two hour commute and 8-9 hours in a law office, is time
consuming.
evile: yup
SkyeDS: they present me with long lists of things that need to be
done, and I'm like, yup, looks like the list I already made for myself
SkyeDS: "then why haven't you done it yet"
evile: ugh.
SkyeDS: I'm working on it, dammit, but things take time
SkyeDS: and some things require cooperation from other people who
don't want to cooperate (like the hay baling man)
evile: Taureans are much more efficient, it seems, than most other
sunsigns. Not to be bragging, but I get a LOT more done than others
in the same span of time. It occasionally makes me impatient with
others. But I've realized, it's not them it's me.
SkyeDS: in three days, they get a lot more accomplished than I do,
but that's because they have nothing to do all day but stay on the
phone until they get what they want
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I could do the same damn thing, if not even more, if I had
nothing to do for three days but make my own phone calls.
evile: exactly.
SkyeDS: I may be lazy in terms of manual labor, but I'm not lazy
otherwise.
evile: I'm lazy.
evile: And if anybody doesn't like it, they can kiss my big fat ass.
SkyeDS: "you went to the movies monday" (obtained of course from
LJ). That's right. The theater was going OOB. And on top of that
it rained.
SkyeDS: did you know that, no
SkyeDS: so please refrain from making judgment when you aren't in
possession of all the facts
evile: ugh.
SkyeDS: I do what I do for a reason (I mean, doens't everybody)
evile: exactly.
SkyeDS: besides, even if it hadn't rained, and even if the theater
hadn't gone OOB, I needed decompression after a harrowing weekend
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I don't see why I should have to defend mental health days.
Everyone says I'm volatile and high strung and bla bla bla
SkyeDS: so if that's truly the case, don't question my mental health
days
evile: heh, true enough.
evile: I just don't think there's any way to please them or make them
accept your choices...you just have to do what's best for you and try
not to let them get to you.
SkyeDS: yep
evile: taking a mental health day, getting bitched out for taking a
mental health day, and getting upset about being bitched out...kind
of leaves you in the same state you were before the mental health
day, eh?
SkyeDS: sorry the house isn't clean, and the roof isn't up, (no I
don't want to debate or discuss0
evile: dont' even say sorry.
evile: "your house is filthy"
"Yup"
evile: I dunno....it doesn't happen very often to me, but in
situations where I'm doomed from the beginning to end up 'the bad
one'....I'd rather put forth the very least amount of effort to get
to that point.
evile: You wanna construct a lose-lose drama in which I end up the
bad guy? go right on ahead. In the meantime, I'll be over here filing
my nails.
SkyeDS: just need to oil the feathers up so that the water rolls
off. easier said than done, I just have to learn
evile: You wanna show upat my house uninvited and without notice and
then bitch that I don't have it clean and dont' have a stock of your
favorite stuff in the fridge? Ok then.
evile: Hang in there...anything can be gotten through as long as it
has an end point. They'll only be here for a set amount of time, then
you can run yourself a nice bath, have a glass of wine, and forget
about it
SkyeDS: :D
evile: Sometimes the 'close your eyes and think of England' thing is
about the best you can do when dealing with difficult people.
SkyeDS: nods
SkyeDS: M will do his best, it won't be nearly good enough to Mom's
standards, oh well.
evile: yup.
evile: I've really been wanting to clean and organize lately. But
there's that whole 'what's the point, I live with a pig' factor to
consider...
SkyeDS: that factor is not allowable in Mother's way of thinking
SkyeDS: www.flylady.com
evile: that shit only works so far.
evile: And then I hit the wall of 'this isn't my stuff and I dont'
know where it belongs'
SkyeDS: now that we have an outdoor building, when I have
time....that's where all of that is going
evile: It's sad, but no matter how insensitive and disrespectful Sweetie
is of me & mine, I can't do it back to him. It violates my concept of
who I am too badly.
SkyeDS: I will exercise due diligence in taking care of his stuff
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I don't even know when I'll have time and inclination to be
doing that anyway
evile: true.
evile: If there's one thing I have learned in life, sad as it
is, "things could always be worse"...Used to bitch about all the
computer crap Sweetie collected...THEN he started accumulating cars & car
parts
SkyeDS: lol
evile: at least with computer shit, there wasn't filthy oily gritty
water in the sink and dirty greasy bootprints through the kitchen and
out into the carpet.
SkyeDS: nope
evile: Oh well. bed made lie, as we say.
SkyeDS: yep
evile: I'm pretty good at learning from other people's mistakes. My
mom divorced my dad (hardworking, pedantic, stick in the mud,
emotionally distant) for Gary (lazy, all talk and no action,
emotionally distant)
evile: My friend Danicia left her job at Dell, divorced her husband,
moved halfway across the US, got a crapp job that is basically dell
without benefits or permanence, and a husband that is basically Crash
without the musical talent AND WITH a mother who is a fat lazy
welfare sponge slob who lived with them for MONTHS. at least Crash's
mom was dead.
evile: Translate "it could always be worse" into Latin & put that on
my shield, because it's the truest thing I've found in life.
evile: LOL. "My abcense from work should have been excused. It was
unavoidable. I was incarcerated."
SkyeDS: lol
evile: these people...*shakes head*
SkyeDS: if it weren't for stupid people neither of us would have a
job
evile: true enough.
evile: My head is killin me. I have _got_ to have something spicy
SOON, get my sinuses cleared out.
SkyeDS: only thing works for mine is sudafed and excedrin together
evile: My body has reached the point where it tolerates everything &
nothing has any effect on the actual allergy.
evile: I need to not take anything for a couple of weeks, then theyll
work again.
SkyeDS: I don't know that anything works on my allergies, and only
those two things work on any kind of sinus pain at all for me
SkyeDS: that and dayquil of course, which I don't take just for sinus
evile: taking dayquil or nyquil for allergies is like killing a fly
with an elephant gun.
SkyeDS: yep
evile: It takes me about a day and a half to get habituated to
nyquil, then it doesn't work anymore.
evile: One of many reasons I've never bothered with recreational
drugs...I am fairly anhedonic, by biology if not by nature, so what's
the point of wasting all that money & risking arrest for a high that
I won't get after the first 2-3 uses?
SkyeDS: caffeine will usually keep a migraine from going full blown
SkyeDS: unless I get the migraine from too much caffeine in the first
place
SkyeDS: (which I know better than to do)
evile: *nod*
evile: I think that's one of the principles of homeopathy. I havent'
studied it too much. There may be something to it but the most vocal
practitioners seem too crackpotty to really deal with.
evile: OMFG. A claimant told a TWC employee there is a new appeal
form to use, and the employee emailed the ENTIRE dept to verify this.
evile: just wrong on so many levels....
SkyeDS: common sense is so uncommon
evile: Um..why would some moron off the streets know more about TWC
procedures than a TWC employee, anyway?
evile: and, really, people get too hung up on forms. We will take an
appeal if it's written on a napkin.
evile: we would send out a memo if the form was changing. And
presumably this was a question for her supervisor, and NOT the entire
state office to answer.
evile: Most days stupid people amuse me. Today they're just annoying.
SkyeDS: nice pat little phrase - I had other stuff to do
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: no point in explaining further
evile: exactly.
SkyeDS: and when that elicits "priorities", well, yours aren't mine
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: what to do with all these tassels and other pieces when I get
my new barding, hm
SkyeDS: attach some of them to my black and white Indian silk
dupattas, I think
evile: cool :)
SkyeDS: course, nothing to do with Ragi's headdress, other than take
it apart and recycle pieces
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: can still use the rein sleeves
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I've had probably 30 exes
SkyeDS: or more
SkyeDS: and I would not be in the least bit devastated to find out an
ex from gradeschool just got married, at the age of 34
SkyeDS: nor would I have been devastated in my 20s
evile: good :)
evile: I got a photo in email from my 'first', with his wife and kid.
felt like I'd dodged a bullet.
SkyeDS: /me corrects "after all the tears" to read after all these
years" which is more appropriate (and laughs behind my hand)
SkyeDS: omg, I was doing legal-medical research online for Hugh one
day and I found this page with my first husband on it
SkyeDS: he looks like death warmed over
SkyeDS: I mean I know I haven't aged well but omfg he looks so bad
evile: ugh.
SkyeDS: shame on me, I know
SkyeDS: I'm glad he's doing what he always wanted to do and is
happy. And looking at him makes me laugh.
SkyeDS: that wasn't even a dodged bullet, that was a dodged fuckin
bullet train
evile: LOL!
evile: my 10 year HS reunion was like that, too.
SkyeDS: I may have a long memory but I just don't get emotional
enough on that level to wish people who have done me wrong bad things
evile: *nod* good for you.
SkyeDS: my ma got all over my case about not going to reunions
SkyeDS: I'll just wait till I have a Friesian or a Vanner and a
carriage, go in style, laugh, and leave
evile: her ego is entirely too tied up in you.
SkyeDS:

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