1592Re: email from X. Very very sad.

[evile]

Sep. 2, 2003

 

 

J-Law's thoughts:


Date: Tue, 2 Sep 2003 08:33:48 -0700 (PDT)
From: J-Law
Subject: Re: GAH!
To: me

Oh, for heaven's sake. I love the little martyr routine ("I will
have no choice but to understand") and all that shit about how you
can disagree etc. with your friends. Where was that when you
disagreed with her sneaking around behind [M - Xtal's husband]'s back, and wanting to
make you an accomplice?

J[x's oldest, my goddaughter] would love a letter. I bet she'd also like to go to Chuy's,
have a pony, and get taken to the Renaissance Faire.

Things suck here. Met some wine folks on Friday - got some good
advice, contacts for the wine biz, which is good. But also makes me
oddly depressed, since I have to 'come down' from that and face this
shit - makes my day to day seem so much worse. The magical new
scenery isn't helping that much any more.

Comments

[evile]

1593Re: email from X. Very very sad.

Sep. 2, 2003


my reply to J-Law:


Date: Tue, 2 Sep 2003 09:11:47 -0700 (PDT)
From: E
Subject: Re: GAH!
To: J


It helps if you can think of the job as temporary.
Better if you have a definite 'end date' in mind, but
if you can just keep it fixed in your mind that 'this
too shall pass'.

I think you definitely need waterballoons & squirt
guns for the atrium-thingy. That'll perk things up
around there!

If X really wanted me in her life or the kids'
lives, she could have invited me to J [X's son]'s b-day,
which was about 2 weeks ago. Did I hear diddly about
it? No. Because she'd rather be manipulative and nasty
than make a genuine effort to real friendship.

I don't know if she realizes how ineffective a
bargaining chip J[X's daughter] is. The kid's a grabby selfish
nasty little brat. At least X has been a user long
enough to be good at faking real love & caring,
whereas it's very obvious when J does her 'love &
hug on auntE' routine that it is utterly contrived.

Ah well. Not going to let that nonsense wee in my
cheerios. I weighed myself at Stephanie's new place
when I was taking a break from helping her move--I
lost 4 lbs last month :) Go me!!

XO! Happy Tuesday!

[evile]

1595Re: email from X.

Sep. 2, 2003


me to J-Law:

I wanted to mention something re: X and totally
forgot, but tell me if you get this sense too. I
feel like she's writing for an 'audience' of some kind,
like BCC:-ing everything she sends me to someone
else, too. I don't know why. I just get that 'sense'.

J-Law to me:

Now that you mention it, there could well be an
unidentified audience for X's emails. I wouldn't
say that I got that precise sense from her tone all
by itself.... but combined with what has transpired
and the fact that I tend to not put such things past
many people.... I could see it.


Me to J-Law, plus some extras for here:

I dunno, maybe my dealings with Kaleon and UB have made me paranoid
about forwarding mail, cc: ing, etc. Maybe X is just *that*
delusional about the nature of our 'little disagreement'. Ok, if she
had asked me to lie to [M - Xtal's husband] and I said no and we had a tiff, that
would be one thing, but what she did goes way beyond 'disagreement'.
When she got [M - Xtal's husband] involved, and followed it up with the stuff
about 'you are a bad influence on my children and you can't be around
them alone anymore' & then the (whether or not she was in on [M - Xtal's husband]'s
little ultimatum 'say goodbye to my children' is not really an issue,
but THAT was insane & evil, too) And then that fucking letter to my
MOM. That was IT. That goes beyond 'little tiff' and right into 'DEAD
forever'. I totally agree with her banal little platitudes
about 'friendship is important' and 'friends can disagree and still
be friends'. What I don't agree with is that 'friends can run a smear
campaign against you to your family' and 'friends can use their
children as bargaining chips in the relationship'.

Without honesty, there is no friendship. Without trust, there is no
friendship. Without communication, there is no friendship.

There hadn't been any friendship there for a long time. It's so
obvious how she was trying to dump me last summer, and for whatever
stupid reasons I didn't let it happen. Didn't want her to have the
last word? Didn't want to leave her standing in the moral high
ground? what?

[evile]

1597Re: email from X.



J-Law's thoughts:

The thing about X is that she really is *that* delusional. But it
is also quite possible that she is bcc'ing someone as well. Could be
[M - Xtal's husband], could be that cow Goldrie - I mean, not that this is any
comparison at all, but you and I exchange emails we have sent to
other people for discussion between us. Obviously, we are not
writing these emails with a view toward sending them to someone else,
but you know what I mean - It is not out of the realm of possibility
that she is doing something similar, albeit in a calculated, drama-
queenish fashion and being very stage-y about it for the benefit of
the audience.

Then again, I always felt that X was very theatrical; her "normal"
mode has an element of speaking to an audience. So - it could be
that her emails are reflecting that, not the fact that she is bcc'ing
or forwarding to a third party.

I am always glad (not in a schadenfreude way, just easier to work on
someone else's issue when one is embroiled in one's own crap) to
worry about someone else for a change, so keep it comin'.