3781Chrisloy HBB hunting.

[evile]

14 Nov. 3:28 pm

 

 

I think I'm about to get unfriended. I don't really care, honestly.
She's a neurotic selfish drama freak. And, yes, I'm mercenary, in that
I don't really want to give her any of my time and energy or caring
because I don't see that she's capable of or interested in reciprocity
in her relationships.
=================================

Sparkling ([info]chrisloy) wrote,
@ 2005-11-13 20:42:00
Previous Entry Add to memories! Next Entry
Current mood: pessimistic


There is a trio in the apartment community where I live. They are new
(from my point of view) to being a trio but they will make it work. I
just know.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone other than my hubby could ever really
love me that deeply let alone understand that I can feel that deeply
toward others without taking away from what I feel toward an
individual. I really like the idea of polyamory, of the freedom to
love and be loved by as many people as your heart can hold. Of course
time dispersement is a big issue with this, but more than that
personality conflicts, mutual attraction (and more), and just the
plain logisitics of life play into it so much.

Over the years I have had MANY roommates from the insane (literally)
to the perfect roommate who manage to somehow never piss me off with
regards to living arrangements through the entire experience. Of about
25 roommates I have had, I get along well enough to continue living
with 4 of them if the situation were to arise again.

That really says something about my tolerance levels on all types of
issues.

So assuming I can find someone I could actually live with, hubby would
have to be able to live with them too and he is fairly self-conscious
about his body yet wants to be able to be naked in his own home (and I
don't blame him, I do too!). The field narrows even further.

Okay, now we have to add in someone who is good with kids and who we
can trust to help raise our child.

The person has to love both of us and we have to love them. In love
would be nice but just love would do.

Oh and finally they have to live in or around or be willing to
relocate to Austin with the possibility of heading out to Baytown if
things get too rough here.

All of this whilst trying to meet someone by staying in our house
since we are too tired dealing with the Boy and our lives to even be
able to present ourselves decenlty in public.

So if this mythical person exists, what the heck are the chances that
they are polyamorous enough to WANT to live with us and make a go of
it?!?!?

I have a feeling my ideal poly household (trio/quad/whatever) is just
a dream and I need to try to move on with reality.

(Post a new comment)

[info]ytima
2005-11-14 03:46 am UTC (link)
I have a feeling my ideal poly household (trio/quad/whatever) is just
a dream and I need to try to move on with reality.

i SO understand that feeling. seriously.

(Reply to this)

[info]bramblekite
2005-11-14 03:38 pm UTC (link) Delete
the neat thing I've noticed about poly is that there's no 'one true
way' to do it.

What about your list above is absolutely mandatory, and what is 'in a
perfect world, this would be" type stuff?

would the person(s) have to live with you 24/7? or could they just
live nearby? could you be happy in a long distance relationship?
Thinking not only about what you want, but WHY, might help you develop
a more work-able poly relationship model to try.

And then again I could just be talking out of my ass, because as a
hetero/mono childfree person, what could I possibly know about poly/bi
with children relationships, right? :P



(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]chrisloy
2005-11-14 09:22 pm UTC (link)
One of the reasons I liek poly so much is the ideal of lightening part
of the "adult" work in the family. Kind of self-centered, but hey :-)

(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
forgive me
[info]bramblekite
2005-11-14 09:41 pm UTC (link) Delete
but...were I a potential suitor, I'd probably be thinking something
like "Ok, so I live with these people and have sex with them and
accept their bodies as they are, and raise their kid with them, and
presumably contribute towards the household finances, and follow them
wherever they go...what's in it for me?"

I'm sorry, I'm just too mercenary, I suppose.

(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
Re: forgive me
[info]chrisloy
2005-11-14 09:53 pm UTC (link)
It'd be family. It would be your kid too. It would be a love thing I
guess.

Ya know with everything else, it is easy to forget that love draws
people together more than any of the "I'd like it if the person were
attribute X".

It would be so easy for me to love so many, but with all the
complications, well, I guess I am just tired of being hur tand wary.
Probably another reason we will never have a poly household.

Again, all of this is my ideal. If I do end up letting myself fall in
love with someone, a lot of that probably won't matter. Well, they
will have to get along with the hubby and kiddo. That is the one
unbendable.

(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
Re: forgive me
[info]bramblekite
2005-11-14 11:26 pm UTC (link) Delete
Comment Posted Successfully
See, I don't think I really get poly or am cut out to be poly...I see
what you want, but I don't really see what you're offering. I guess
you need someone who's more submissive and into kids than I can wrap
my mind around.