Being Unlikeable

[evile]

If you leave the house in the morning and run into one asshole, they're the asshole. If you leave the house in the morning and run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.

Habits/traits that make you unlikeable:

negativity/pessimism

lecturing/preaching/delivering soliloquies/condescending/mansplaining/being a 'know it all'

declaring your opinions and feelings as though they are facts & getting defensive when people have opinions, feelings, and actual facts which contradict your self-important declarations.

talking more than you listen

not listening at all/just waiting for a pause so you can talk again.

being contrary/playing devil's advocate/goading/arguing for the sake of argument (this is fun if the topic is an intellectual exercise for everyone participating, it's seen as tremendously mean spirited and / or an attack if one person is speaking from deeply held beliefs, self-identity, or personal experience and the other is treating it like an intellectual debate)

Being judgemental

Lacking empathy

Being humorless (especially being unable to laugh at yourself)

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Being likeable is a learnable behavior.   I know that's wierd but it's not an inherent, unchangeable trait.

show up.

listen.

participate in things that benefit your community,  a shared interest or hobby, or a pet project (ie: put energy towards something that doesn't benefit you only, or you first)

empathize. 

be positive

be kind

have a sense of humor

and: Don't put up with mean spirited idiots, even if that is going to make them not like you. It's OK not to be liked by everyone. And, in some cases, when ignorant, hateful, bigoted, greedy, stupid, evil people  hate you, that means you're actually a pretty good person no matter what they say!

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