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3758Re: UB's nuttery nuttiness

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8 Nov. 7:10 pm

skye_ds DreamSinger ([info]skye_ds_ds) wrote,
@ 2005-02-11 20:53:00
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Current mood: thoughtful
Current music: Everything is Different Now ~ Don Henley

brutally frank (perhaps frankly brutal) self assessment

I'm five foot two. I need to lose about 120 pounds. When I was at a
healthy weight, I was Rubenesque, voluptuously full-figured,
big-breasted, fleshy enough to be sexy without being fat. Now, quite
honestly, I have a "pretty face," and I'm "pretty for a fat chick."

Although I am 34 years old and I make no attempt to hide it, others
frequently mistake me for being in my 20s. My hair is sable and wavy,
without a touch of gray; I keep it long and loose in a simple, natural
style. My eyes are even darker than my hair. I have an olive
complexion. I wear no makeup, except on special occasions, for the
pleasure of special people. The flash of my eyes and even white teeth
give me a healthy appearance. My skin is taut and smooth, no lines,
no wrinkles.

I freely admit that I am a coquette; when I exert the effort, I have
the ability to enchant, and I am capable of casting a spell better
than Merlin. Even when I am deeply involved, I need as much friendly
feeling as heavy-breathing passion. I've been told that I'm
fascinating, and I've been told that I'm too difficult to figure out.
I have a dual nature: part of me needs love and security, to be
coddled, catered to, looked after, made to feel that I am the most
important woman in the world, but the stronger part of me needs
stimulation and novelty. I am an irrepressibly frivolous,
high-spirited, pleasure-loving Epicurean hedonist. My secret
fantasy is to be a smoldering and languorous femme fatale, but in real
life I just don't have the patience or the time. Besides, very
few of the men I've ever met are worth the effort; most of the men
I've ever met were too dull and boring. I am a connoisseur with a
keen appreciation of really interesting men. "For love is free, and
shall come or go in its manner" -- when love goes out the window I'm
not wasting time wondering where it went. Bad experiences are put
quickly out of my mind -- "Be true to your own understanding and turn
away from those things which oppose the good in you or are harmful to
you." My marriage is polyfidelitous. I am naturally restless and
changeable, and I usually do have romantic relationships with more
than one man. My dualistic and fickle nature places too many unfair
demands for just one man to bear the entire burden. I need
satisfaction on several planes at once -- spiritual, mental,
emotional, and sexual. Variety is important to me. This is a problem
to men who insist on being number one, or the one and only, in my
life. However, I am a devoted companion and faithful lover to the
composite men who interest me on both a sexual and mental level (Dear
Husband [info]sineater and Maestro [info]sonar0m for example).
 A quick learner, I have an endless sexual curiosity and a
charming willingness to experiment. Sometimes I am guilty of
emphasizing too much the physical responses of sex, and sometimes I
fail on emotional follow through. I have many faults and failings,
which I am constantly striving to overcome. But, underneath the
bewildering variety of masks, I am a solid, enduring person. I show
my real face when I am in love. It is a rare lover who can deceive me
and get away with it. I am tempestuous, brilliant, vibrant and witty.
My interests are wide as well as deep--I know a little about many
things, and a lot about a few things, and I freely admit when I don't
know anything at all. If you know one thing well, you'll impress me.
You can choose the subject: books, music, politics, sex,
religion--I'm interested in them all. I like people who speak
their minds frankly on any subject. I admire candor and honesty--and
a good exchange, even of contrary opinions, is a firm foundation for a
better relationship. Please, don't try to match wits, unless you're
sure you have the verbal ammunition. I do wield words as weapons,
quite lethally. I don't choose to indulge in battles of the wits with
unarmed opponents. I have to admit that in addition to enjoying
intellectual talk, I do also love gossip (one of my many failings).
If you know interesting stories, I am an appreciative audience. I am
also inordinately fond of anyone who makes me laugh.
 In the end, I believe I can genuinely answer every stanza of
Oriah Mountain Dreamer's Invitation with a resounding yes - and so I
am content.