cycles

[evile]

 I have been observing a cycle that I'd like to write about  in some coherent way but it just isn't coming together very well. It's something I saw and experienced many times growing up and into young adulthood, it 'feels' like  a predictable cycle, but it also feels like it's reaching into several  different 'cycles' at the same time; I don't really know how to explain it.   Part of it is a passive-agressive thing, part of it is the cycle of abuse, bullying, the narcissist's refusal to accept responsibility & their tendency to double standards --brutal honesty to others, too fragile to hear or see the truth when it's given back to them in any way, be it brutal honesty or gentle questioning....the cycle of arrogance/abuse, 'you owe me an apology' to the victim playing, oh poor me, I have dissapointed and failed someone who mattered so much to me (that I was verbally abusing with 'brutal truth/honesty' just a few days ago, and now that they've shut the door on me I am trying to lure them back with more passive agressive behavior " I have never once intended to hurt anyone on purpose. No, not even those who have hurt me on purpose.".--which is such laughable BS. The first thing they try to do is hurt the person back, and then if that doesn't get them what they want, they go to victim-playing..all of this indirect acting out type behavior, nothing honest and humble toward the target of the 'performance' ...nothing geared toward repairing the relationship, letting each person have their say, apologies, forgiveness, changed behavior...just this performance.

I dunno. I can't really make it work.  Let's just leave it at....I see it, it's a pattern, glad I don't live there anymore.


editing to add. Here it is.

https://youtu.be/FRbmsQ3WW_4

Comments

[evile]

and now we are on to the 'you're too sensitive/easily offended' closely followed by 'I hurt you because I love you'

wow. Stay strong, whoever you are.