evile

What is the difference between a narc vs a covert narc 🤷‍♀️?

I would say that, based on my experience, the narc gives their target a ‘show’ that will draw them in and make them give the narc whatever the narc wants, whether that's an illusion of Greatness or an illusion of Vulnerability/woundedness.

So, if you are the type to fall for a powerful, large and in charge type personality that is the ‘show’ the narc will put on to hook you in.

If, like most codependents and ‘empaths’ in the world, you are more drawn to the wounded soul, the sensitive person who has been through so much, the damsel in distress, or the misunderstood sensitive poet/genius, you are going to be easier to snag with a ‘poor pitiful me!’ story.

I might also theorize that narcs who are ‘higher functioning’ are the ones who can adapt their behavior and performance in a way that draws people in, so the grandiose braggarts are less functional and easier to spot and withdraw from, than the covert who can change their behavior to suit their audience and play the victim so skillfully.

Another thought I have had is that narcissistic personality disorder may be co-morbid with other mental health issues and/or other personality disorders. So a narc may cycle through bipolar episodes, possibly triggered by a narcissistic injury, that would kick them from ‘grandiose’ to ‘victim’ mode.

And some narcissists may find, with age and loss of good looks, sexual vitality, physical health, stamina, etc. they have to change their game to keep the supply going. As a young man or woman, they can draw in victims with an attractive appearance, sex, drugs, extravagant spending,-- basically an "endless party lifestyle," but as they age, become ill due to years of over-indulgence, etc. they have to fall back on the ‘poor me’ story and the victim act more and more because that gets them attention and people willing to serve and enable them, too.

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