evile

Although a Narcissist can't love, can they find someone compatible, i.e. all similar interests and make it work without conflict?

No. Narcissists need conflict. It makes them feel important and alive. Without a constant flare of DRAMA in their lives, they feel uncomfortable and unhappy. If they find a person who shares all of their interests in life, they’ll find a way to make that person unhappy. (and, truthfully, very few of the narcissists 'interests' are truly their own, they generally tend to stalk a new source and pretend to share that person's interests in order to draw them in.)

Maybe you share a fandom,; the NPD will start fights and conflicts in your fan group and eventually force you to choose between the fan group and the narc.

Maybe you share religion The NPD will start conflict and drama within the church you attend, possibly go behind your back starting rumors and smearing you to everyone in your church, or maybe stirring up some false accusations against a pastor or church leader, once again forcing you to choose between ‘having the narc’s back’ and your faith community.

This can get dangerous and crazy very quickly; you may find yourself in legal difficulties, you may find yourself quitting jobs, you may find yourself with no friends and no support groups whatsoever because the narcissist keeps forcing conflicts and drama and keeps forcing you to choose the narcissist and not your friends, family, fandom, and faith.

Oh, and if it wasn’t obvious: if you do attempt to choose a friend, family member, fandom, or faith above your narc, you will be vilified, abused, scorned, and possibly harmed or even murdered by your lovely narcissist. If you do not devote yourself 24/7/365 to pleasing, appeasing, placating, and serving your narcissist, they will turn their abusive, divisive, nasty nature on you. Heck, even if you DO devote yourself 24/7/365 to the narc’s happiness, they will nitpick, find fault, and heap abuse and scorn on you for being such a wimpy loser.

I have a loved one working themselves into an early grave—a regular 9–5 job to give the narc a paycheck and health coverage, then comes home to do all the housework and yard work, and then all the shit-work labor for the narc’s ‘successful independent business’ evenings and weekends, and for all of this, they are considered a “pathetic, loser, wage slave” by their narc.

The only way to have a happy relationship and a happy life is to NOT have a relationship or a life shared with an abuser.

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