evile

Is the abuse narcissists inflict a bit of vigilante justice expressed to the wrong people because they can’t face directing it at the people who really deserve it - their caregivers? So “empaths” or “codeps” are the next best surrogate?

The narcissist will do and say anything to justify their outlandish, revolting behavior.

“Mommy didn’t love me enough, that’s why I beat up on you. Will you be my mommy?”

OK, that’s a fine rationalization, but there’s absolutely nothing there for you, so leave. There's no reason to stay and accept abuse.

They do repeat patterns of behavior, and it does seem as though they are just re-enacting the same relationship over and over again with new people in the same old roles; this could be childhood trauma, this could just be part of their brain’s abnormal wiring….it’s not your problem to solve. You didn’t cause it, you can’t cure it, and you can’t control it (nor should you try)

Once you realize you are with an abusive person, it’s time to save yourself and remove yourself from the abusive situation.

==============

Editing to add: Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com. They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here.

If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal

And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.