evile

Do the narcissist's parents ever realize they created a monster, or are they too much in denial or too embarrassed?

The old nature-vs-nurture argument. Are they born bad or are they created? Do the parents see what they did and feel bad, or do they feel the child is completely on their own as far as how they turn out as adults? I think it really depends on the parents. There’s not a universal truth here, only individual lives and how they deal with things.

It’s a complicated situation; I believe some narcissists are created by growing up in a toxic environment. One or more of their adult care givers (parents, grandparents, foster, adoptive, whatever) is a narcissist themselves and due to the toxic family dynamic, one or more of their children is also a narcissist. Adults who are abusive, neglectful, addicted or absent may also trigger the series of malignant circumstances that make a child’s brain and behavior into what we call narcissistic personality disorder.

A child may also be born with significant brain damage, either due to maternal stress, maternal drug abuse, or no reason at all. Their brains are actually missing the structures which would allow them to develop emotionally into mature adults.

If you had a child with a birth defect which caused them to have difficulty relating to others and difficulty expressing themselves emotionally, how would you feel? Would you feel responsible, or would you feel it was the child’s responsibility to learn how to deal with their disability? I think the answer to that really varies with each family and really depends on the circumstances.

Is it the child’s fault that they were born into a toxic family? Is it the child’s fault that they were born with organic brain damage? No. But it is every adult’s responsibility to learn to cope with their early childhood damage and try to learn to function properly in the world.

If a person is ever able to be self-aware enough to realize that their behavior is toxic to themselves & others, they have enough self-awareness to work on it and fix themselves, regardless of what their parents have done or said.

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