evile

Do all covert narcissists (women) shower a lot? I mean 3-5 times a day. Why is that? My ex narc said once that she washes away people's lives. Has anybody else experienced this?

No, excessive washing is not a symptom or characteristic of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

[1]

From the Mayo Clinic article on NPD:

Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and the severity of symptoms vary. People with the disorder can:

Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration
Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
Exaggerate achievements and talents
Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people
Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior
Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
Take advantage of others to get what they want
Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
Be envious of others and believe others envy them
Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious
Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:

Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment
Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted
React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior
Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior
Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change
Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection
Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation

In fact, three of the narcissists I have encountered in my personal life were the opposite: slovenly, sloppy, smelly, and did not wash for days or weeks, even (or maybe especially?) when it was requested that they bathe and put on clean clothes for a family occasion. At the same time, bizarrely, two of the three narcissists would behave in sexually suggestive manner, as if their unwashed, bad-smelling bodies, tangled greasy hair, and dirty ripped clothing would be attractive and arousing.

Washing or showering excessively could be a sign of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) - Symptoms and causes.

[2]

Or, sadly, it could be some sort of trauma response to having been raped or molested. (likewise: refusing to bathe could also be a response to trauma)

The person may have seen showering as a symbolic ‘washing away’ of other people from her life, and symbols can be a very powerful thing inside a person’s mind, but, again, I don’t believe that’s a universal trait or symbolic system used by all narcissists. (it's also possible to have co-morbid mental health conditions, so a person with NPD could also have OCD)

Footnotes

[1]

Narcissistic personality disorder - Symptoms and causes

[2]

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) - Symptoms and causes

==============

Editing to add: Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com. They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here.

If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal

And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.