evile

Sometimes people need a serious reality check; it may be that they’ve been in a toxic relationship for so long that their expectations and desires of what is a normal healthy relationship have been distorted beyond recognition. I think this may be the case with the person asking this question. And here is your reality check: NO!!

Normal adult human beings do not control one another in relationships. Normal adult human beings control themselves and communicate their needs and expectations to one another in a mature and mutually respectful fashion. Normal adult human beings in relationships care about one another’s feelings and needs and do what is healthy for themselves and for the relationship in order to help their relationship partners feel heard and cared for, without coercion or manipulation.

Intermittent Reinforcement is an animal training technique. You do not train human beings as though they were animals. That is not a path to a healthy relationship between adults.

If you are in a relationship where you have asked for what you need, expressed your thoughts and feelings regarding your partner’s behavior in a healthy and direct way, and your partner has not expressed any concern about your feelings, nor changed their behavior to indicate that they respect your feelings, it is time to remove yourself from the relationship.

The only person you should be trying to control is yourself. If you want to experiment with animal training techniques, get a pet and work with a professional to train your new pet.

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Editing to add: Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com. They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here.

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