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[personal profile] evile
 
What would the narcissist do if you went to their siblings for advice on how to deal with him/her?

In my experience, the narcissistic abuser will have already poisoned the well for their target; the NPD is excellent at compartmentalizing their lives so that all of their victims never have a chance to meet up and compare notes, and they usually run pre-emptive smear campaigns against any potential sources of help or information.

The way this works is that when you are still in the golden early days of your relationship, the NPD will tell you about their abusive parents, their alcoholic nympho sister, their brother who molested them when they were 4, their violent stalker exes, etc etc etc.

Their stories will be so detailed, lurid, and nauseating that even when you start to see the cracks in the Narcissist’s mask and there have been episodes of madness, you will still be very reluctant to contact any of the people that the NPD has poisoned you against.

Rest assured, the NPD will have also spoken badly about you to their other friends and to their family members, so those people will not want to speak to you, they will not trust you, and they will not speak honestly with you about the narcissist. The NPD has run so many headgames, loyalty tests, and crazy episodes past them that they will not wish to engage with you, the narcissist’s newest broken toy.

If you do manage to make contact with your NPD’s family without the NPD catching on and preventing you, be assured that the punishment the NPD will dish out to both you and their family will make every previous episode of drama look like a walk in the park compared to the Hell on Earth that you will now face. There may even be law enforcement involvement. Seriously, this is not something you want to do.

As always, if you are with someone and they are not treating you kindly, if their emotional state seems a bit creepy, if an appropriate amount of time has passed and you aren’t naturally meeting other friends and family members as the relationship seems to be deepening, or if their story seems a bit ‘off,’ take some time to reflect on your own mindset, re-affirm your own worth and re-examine your own relationship needs. If someone is mistreating you and they will not accept responsibility for their behavior, then it is time to say goodbye to that person.

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Editing to add:  Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com.  They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here. 

If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my 
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And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.

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